Charles Barkley Responds To Hardaway
By Keith Boykin, in sexuality
Saturday, February 17 2007, 1:38PM
Shortly before I went on CNN last night, I was in the makeup room watching Wolf Blitzer interview former NBA star Charles Barkley in Las Vegas. You may not always agree with Barkley, but his comments last night were right on the money. I don't have a transcript, but Barkley basically acknowledged the open secret that the NBA does have gay players. He said he had played basketball with gay teammates, that he had gay friends, and that he had no problem with gay people. He also said it was disturbing to hear a black man like Hardaway discriminating against another group of people.
In an earlier interview on Thursday on TNT, Barkley said, "I played with gay guys. I got gay friends. Only God can judge other people. I don't care if a person is gay or not. Any jock who thinks he's never played with a gay guy is sadly mistaken. Any team you've been on at some point in your life you have played with a gay guy." Thank you Charles Barkley for putting it out there.
Black Men and Homophobia
Yes, there are gay players in the NBA. John Amaechi is not the first. But it does take courage to come out in America -- not only in the NBA, but in most places in America. For me, the two most disturbing aspects of this incident involve the role of black men.
First, like Barkley, I am troubled to hear such vicious homophobia from another black man. No, it's not just black men who have this issue. Just look at Bush and Cheney for proof. And no, this is not about restricting Tim Hardaway's right to free speech. Our country gives him a constitutional right to be an idiot and a bigot, and I would not take that away from him. But those of us who remember the civil rights movement know that there must be consequences for prejudice or it will continue to flourish.
Last week I was in the south and stood at the doorway where James Meredith was denied entry to the University of Mississippi in 1962. That was a moving moment for me. I wish Tim Hardaway could have been there with me. Anyone who is black and remembers the legal and open discrimination practiced against us ought to have more sensitivity to the legal and open discrimination practiced against others. That's what Charles Barkley was saying.
Second, I am also troubled by the attitudes of a few self-hating black gay men who would like to excuse or ignore Hardaway's behavior. It is one thing to forgive him, but it is another thing to justify his behavior. Too many of us are afraid to be ourselves because we have internalized the homophobia of our oppressors. Some of us are so desperate for approval from our families and peers that we will sit silently while they denounce us.
But they will continue to denounce us until we stand up and be visible and vocal. As a black man -- gay, straight or bisexual -- you have to be a warrior in America. And for all we face, black men cannot afford to be paralyzed by fear. We must love ourselves first before we can love anyone else, and we must be strong enough to be ourselves to do that.
On Being A Man
From what I've seen, Tim Hardaway seems to have a distorted definition of manhood. I don't know what his issue is, but I would like to sit down with him and talk about being a man. Being a man is not about attacking other people to prove your masculinity. It's not about how many women you've slept with or how many sports you play. It's not the bass in your voice, the muscles on your arms, or the size or your dick that makes you a man. Being a man is about being a good person, treating other people with respect, admitting your mistakes, and living up to your responsibilities.
I have often quoted a definition of manhood that I heard when I was in college. I like it because I believe it applies not only to men, but to all adults. I think it also has special meaning to those of us who are both black and gay. "Honesty with one self, fairness toward others, sensitivity to duty, and courage in its performance. On these qualities rest manhood, and on manhood rests the structure of society."
Comments conceal
JSUphinest601
February 17 2007, 1:54PM
Thank You Charles Barkley for the clarification !!!!
Jeff Hobbs
February 17 2007, 2:41PM
I love Charles Barkley. He is crazy at times but hes serious when he needs to be. I'm so glad he has spoken out about this and brought some maturity to the subject. This was a great article Keithy. Keep up the good work. I still can't believe I'm seeing the word 'dick' on your site though!LOL
Mel Smith
February 17 2007, 2:43PM
Thank you Keith. That was powerful!
DDC
February 17 2007, 3:08PM
It's distubring for him to hear a black man discriminate against another group, LOL? It's amazing how quick a sinner will throw stones. A few years ago Charles Barkley made a proclamation that completely mirrored Tim Hardaway's, stating "I hate white men" in front of a mic, which also caused a controversy. Even big-mouth obnoxious jerks can make sense sometimes. What's next, patting Michael Richards on the back for confirming suspicions by saying that he's friends with several gays in NASCAR?
Kenneth Winfrey![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.keithboykin.com/blog2/nav-commenters.gif)
February 17 2007, 3:30PM
@DDC I think it's wrong to state hatred for any group of people because I think we all need to learn to share the planet.
However, in his defense, gay people--as a group--don't have a centuries-long history of colonizing or oppressing the poeple of other nations. His statement had political implications that cannot be compared to those of Hardaway or Richards.
Your comparison isn't apples to oranges, but I'd say perhaps it's "oranges to tangerines."
mh
February 17 2007, 4:51PM
Good to hear from Charles. Another reason to like charles Barkley. View my response click post name or visit thejusticeofmh.blogspot.com
edvincent
February 17 2007, 5:06PM
Although Charles B may have spoken in the affirmative as it concerns gays in general, let's not forget he has made it publically known on Jay Leno that he is running and will be come the next Gov. of the state of Alabama. He's playing good politics.
Jeff
February 17 2007, 5:31PM
Manhood is also about responsibility. Too many of these so-called men aren't responsible adults making babies and not caring for them.
SoCal
February 17 2007, 6:28PM
As I told a friend earlier this week, I never thought I'd see the day where I thought Charles Barkley had an enlightened view on an important social matter, but there ya go. He seems to have come a long way from his "I won't step on the court with Magic Johnson because he has HIV" days.
And not for nothing, but we've yet to hear "Showtime" weigh in on this topic, hmm?
algie
February 17 2007, 6:58PM
i have so much props to give to charles because it shows with time wisdom is suppose to show very clear in your life and with these comments charles proves that getting older is the best thing we should want to acheive in life.black gay men are everywhere in the work place and entertainment and sports field.anyone who thinks otherwise refuses to grow older as a man or woman and rather remain a child who don't wanna know no better
Ron Lee
February 17 2007, 7:30PM
Keith I totally agree with your definition of being a man,And the statement of so goes man,so goes the society. And yes Black men reguardless of sexuality must be warriors and love self first which also means loving those who look like the man in the mirror.I just wish more gay men could here and adhere to your message.PEACE.
cmoney
February 17 2007, 7:33PM
I never cared too much for Charles Barkley, but he deserves credit for standing up against ignorance and homophobia. It takes a real man to stand up to the status quo and to risk one's own professional image or social relationships. Barkley could have easily stayed silent, like most of the NBA players have. Barkley showed that he was man enough to stand up for gays. And SoCal, you're right. Where is Magic? Hmmm.
PDQ
February 17 2007, 8:13PM
Not only "where is Magic"?
Where is Rev. Jackson?
Where is Rev. Sharpton? (he with the lesbian sister)
Where are the 2008 Presidential candidates?
Where is Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid?
Where is Dick Cheney? (he with the pregnant gay daughter)
Where is perpetual scold Bill Cosby?
Where is Oprah? (Who can discuss the DL and HIV, but not this and certainly not her "friendship" with Gayle?)
Where is Dr. Phil ? (who seems to have an answer for everything)
You could hear a pin drop for lack of response to this.
Msingi
February 17 2007, 11:51PM
I can't believe that me and Barkley are actually on the same page about something. Hell has indeed frozen over.
DDC
February 18 2007, 12:51AM
I'm not sure if applying historical context really matters in a situation like this. If Marion Jones or Sheryl Swoopes suddeny spat "I hate men" (who have been oppressing- and downright brutalizing- women for centuries), then turned around and condemned a teammate for her own prejudice, that would be absurd. It's refreshing when a heterosexual speaks out against homophobia, but don't be surprised if BArkley's caught in the future calling someone a F#! or something. LIke John Rocker was this guy is an off-balanced attention slut and it would be very consistent with his overall prejudiced track record.
dfromdaq
February 18 2007, 1:27PM
PDQ why do we need responses from these people? Can we not speak for ourselves.
PDQ
February 18 2007, 1:41PM
Of course we can speak for ourselves. But wouldn't it be nice to know that we had some heavyweights in our corner who weren't gay? These people influence the national debate on a number of issues - but apparently we don't merit their attention.
It appears we're only acceptable to them if we're doing their hair, decorating their houses, catering their parties and then slinking quietly back to our gay ghettos where we belong.
alex
February 18 2007, 3:02PM
looks like hardaway (or his handlers) released another apology:
"As an African American, I know all too well the negative thoughts and feelings hatred and bigotry cause. I regret and apologize for the statements that I made that have certainly caused the same kinds of feelings and reactions. I especially apologize to my fans, friends and family in Miami and Chicago. I am committed to examining my feelings and will recognize, appreciate and respect the differences among people in our society. I regret any embarrassment I have caused the league on the eve of one of their greatest annual events."
and he was also dumped as spokesman for Baldguyz, a company that makes grooming products for bald men. source
NikiiB
February 18 2007, 4:19PM
I heard Rev. Sharpton for myself on his radio show on Friday. He didn't support Hardaway's stance, so he's cool with me. Can't say I've heard responses from the others, though.
alicia banks
February 18 2007, 5:40PM
i never thought i would even like charles b...
he has grown up admirably
i really love him now...
madonna said he was god...smile
i see the divinity in him now
re hardaway
when i define a man
he is not even a minor ingredient
he is a sorry excuse for a man
but
john a is my def of an ideal man
brave beautiful brainy brawny bro...
peace
ab
Karmatic
February 18 2007, 5:58PM
What PDQ said!!!
Andrew Scott
February 18 2007, 6:03PM
Its wrong to hate anybody, but it is not not wrong to call out something if it is Imoral. Homosexulaty is a vile and detestable act. I hate the act and not the person. I dont hate drug addicts but i do hate drug abuse. We live in a world that says if it feels good do it.No matter what, thats why this world is going to hell. Tim Hardaway was wrong in saying what he said, but feeling the way about the act was not wrong. And dont try to compare it to the civil rights era. This is totaly different.
Ron Lee
February 18 2007, 6:51PM
PDQ your right where are those Politicians & Celebrities. I guarante you if the victim and perpertraitor were white this would have blown up much bigger. Once it had been blown-up by the white press then the black press and black politicos would've put there "2 cents" in it. By that same token Phillys', Mark David Norris, the Meager Evers, of our time was murdered and we can't even get the Black gay political activist to reach out to the straight black activist community and do something about this,we should be reacting in a massive way to the death of Mark David Norris. Where is the NBJC,GLAAD,NAACP. A Black SGL activist fighting to protect our future, has no future,where is the outrage. A Great Martyr has passed. There should be Indignation over his death, no one is speaking of his fight for gun control & hiv awareness.
PDQ
February 18 2007, 6:51PM
Andrew - the only "act" that I can imagine you're talking about is gay sex since it can't be paying the mortgage, holding down a job or raising a family. Once again, a straight man obsessing about gay sex. What exactly do you know about gay sex and how did you find it out Andrew?
I suspect that if we could be a fly on Andrew's wall we might discover that he's not as moral as he'd have us believe, but lucky for him we can't do that.
And no Andrew, I'd never try to compare this to civil rights. Holier than thou people like you have the lock on rights and those of us who are gay aren't entitled to them.
Well, I guess I'm done. I've styled your wife's hair, I've decorated your house, I've arranged the flowers you gave your mistress and I've catered your swanky dinner party. I'll just crawl back under my rock and hide now if that's okay with you.
Mel Smith
February 18 2007, 11:02PM
Everyone, don't you notice heterosexuals always say, 'don't compare gay rights to the Civil Rights Movment?' Now, you don't notice that they say this all the time? When was the last time heterosexuals ever heard us compare the two? To me, it looks like they are the only ones making the comparison. Damn, they think we are cowards. It's ok for our heterosexual allies to compare the Civil Rights Movment to the Gay Rights. But, they HATE when we do it. Seriously, do any of you notice that HETEROSEXUAL people compare our situation to the gay rights movment sometimes? Kanye West and a few heterosexuals have done this and NOBODY complain. They only tell us not to make such comparisons and we obey them like stupid cowards. Do most of you know that your skin color is black?
Karim
February 19 2007, 11:30AM
Barkley as always sets the record straight.
ToddyEnglish
February 19 2007, 12:48PM
Keith, I loved your article. As usual you have given me food for thought. Many African Americans, sadly, believe that being gay makes one less than a man. However, as you so eloquently stated, that is the furthest thing from the truth. Sir Charles maybe a loud mouth blowhard most of the time but I totally respect him for being a voice of sanity!
Kai
February 19 2007, 1:34PM
I've always liked Barkley and his big mouth. I have to disagree with Keith on one point though. I think it is a mistake to lead people on with the expectation that once you stand up with a voice and become visible that people including your family will no longer denounce you. That is just not true. Some will support you, some will distance themselves from you and some will continue to denounce you even more loudly.
If you're going to declare your sexuality openly do it because it's right for you, not for somebody else and don't expect to receive anything for it other than to make yourself happy.
luvmarthastewart
February 21 2007, 10:17AM
why are some of you guys hating on mr. barkley for standing up for us? what he said yesterday shouldn't matter regarding the issue at hand. and what he is saying today is what matters because he is one of a few speaking out against what mr. hardaway stated.
the bigger picture is that he just told current nba players that gays have been, will be, and currently is in the nba.
now i'm not saying he's perfect, i'm not and neither are you.
geobaby
February 21 2007, 3:49PM
I, like most here, was very surprised Charles Barkley spoke up against Tim Hardaway's ignorance. But regardless of Barkley's past, I'm glad he did. We should take his lead and become vocal against discrimination in our homes, jobs, etc...wherever we see it. And to the people who don't understand the comparison of Civil Rights issue to gay bashing or sexual discrimination, you've definitely missed the call of the movement. It wasn't just for the freedom of black people but for ALL PEOPLE. That's why the late Coretta Scott King aligned herself with us.
nreeldeep
February 21 2007, 4:17PM
So the most pressing issue facing gay folk today is some "straight" brotha saying he hates gays? How in the world is that so f#@*ing phenominal all of a sudden? GET OVER IT!! When I looked outside this morning, guess what? The sun was shining. Life moves on. People like Hardaway hate and guys like me spread love. And I think my side is winning.
You can't change Hardaway or those like him, no more than anyone can change you who is reading this post right now.
To Keith and his whining minions, if you REALLY want something to be pitiful about, Keith why don't you create a national poll that asks people if they hate gay people or not. The results of such a poll will REALLY give alot of you on this message board something to cry and whine about. A large portion of society does not like homosexuals and think what we do and who we are is vile and disgusting. The sooner you accept that the sooner you will stop wasting space on the subject and enjoy a sunrise.
nreeldeep
February 21 2007, 8:56PM
I wonder how many of you own CDs from known homophobic hip-hop artists (Which is the theme in the music of some of hip-hop's biggest artists)? Do I have to point out the delicious hypocrisy?
But I'm sure nobody wants to peel away the layers and have an honest discussion about motives.
As a gay man, PLEASE justify your loyalty to homophobic hip-hop, which tosses out the word "faggot" at break-neck pace and actively promotes violence against gays, in the same breath that you use to denegrate Hardaway.
Somebody tell me how it's different.
alot of you need to clean up your own backyards before you make negative comments about Hardaway's.
Jeff
February 21 2007, 10:46PM
It's a shame Andrew that your sorry ass didn't come back here for a response cause you sure got one today. The 1st one condemning will be the 1st one in hell. You're just too ignorant to undstand that discrimination is just that regardless of whether any group suffered more. Go back to your little box in life churchhole and wait for the rapture. And just so you know, most straight guys don't use the word "vile" and "detestable". Just thought you should know.
MonicaR
February 22 2007, 5:26PM
For those peeps vehemently arguing that the Civil Rights Movement and The Gay Rights Movemnet aren't the same struggle, news flash for you.
The late Coretta Scott King said otherwise.
The Civil Rights Movement also owes a gay man by the name of Bayard Rustin a huge debt of gratitude. The 1963 March on Washington wouldn't have happened without Bayard's organizational skills. One of the Southern Christian Leadership Council's founders was that same Bayard Rustin.
DEJAY
February 23 2007, 11:07PM
AFTER READING SO MANY COMMENTS REGARDING THIS SITUATION, THERE IS ONE THING THAT STILL STAND TRUE.
THE OPPRESSED ARE ALWAYS THE FIRST TO BECOME OPPRESSORS OF OTHERS.
Virgil
March 1 2007, 8:30PM
to DDC.. Don't be ignorant. Charles was not serious when he said he hates white men. You heard but didn't listen.
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