At the Corner of Penetration and Race
By Kenneth Winfrey
Wednesday, November 1 2006, 12:53AM
Albuquerque, N.M. -- Trick or Treat? Patricia Madrid or Heather Wilson? They both really scare me with those attack ads, I'll tell you that! I didn't go "trick or treating." I stopped turning tricks a long time ago, right? And at 34, with a lot of great stories to tell, life itself is my treat everyday, not just on Halloween. So, I spent my Hollowed Eve in line for 2 hours at my chosen early voting location. I hung with the Democrats on a straight ticket, but only because I couldn't think of anything great about the Republicans in my area.
Everybody is so God and Gun happy, and in a place like Albuquerque where there are a lot of retired veterans, politics is very interesting. We're "granola" and gay-friendly out here too. I never feel overwhelmed by the moral conservatives, but they're nearby. In fact, I'm out to all of my (largely Republican) neighbors. I don't have any with whom I am not friendly and cordial, and haven't shared a cup of flour or an egg in the middle of cooking. Most of them are "if ya work hard and follow the rules" kinda Republicans. I like and trust them as my neighbors. They are sometimes curious, and I tell them as much as I think they can handle. I'd like to think that I'm teaching.
About The Message Boards
If there are any straight people visiting the message board, I bet you guys are learning a lot more these days. The message board is just chock-full o' well-expressed, frank and revealing insights into the SGL/Black LGBT experience. I can't even tell you anything about it unless I am as forthcoming as our message board contributors. So, let's just say it, anal sex is the pink elephant in the room, especially when you talk with straight people.
We know why we like it. We know how to do it. It's a homo-thing, straight folks just don't understand. Actually, many, MANY, of them do, they just don't want to admit it. We are just brave enough to be talking about it on the message board. The good, bad, and ugly. For I have even revealed more personal truths of myself in this thread.
If there are any white people in the room right now, I bet you all are learning a few things too. The message board is buzzing with debate on race, and what it means to be Black, and a homosexual, in the so-called "White Man's World." I never call it that, because I know this is God's world, but I know what it means.
There are actually two pink elephants in the room, but the other one is only there when we try to build intimate relationships. It's the one we see when we see so many of us seeking partnerships outside the race. Folks seem realistic in understanding that love has the right of way, but others can't help but question why Black men don't love Black men more often.
Just In Time For Halloween
Just in time for Halloween, we are told of more boogey men out to get us. As if it didn't already seem like the world has gone mad against homosexuals, "The Sons of Cain," is revealed to us by my friend, the creative defense, doniel. They are a supposed rogue organization with a mission in conspiracy to kill homosexuals. With all the murders of gay men and women we hear about these days, they sound something like the KKK. I happen to believe in the vastness of our human continuum. In other words, anything is possible...unfortunately.
To further "enhance our calm" (I just love the movie "Demolition Man," don't you?), a movement against the "nameless" and "faceless" emerges. This is one time when I know they ain't talkin' 'bout me 'cause my name is all up in yo face. In the words of Flava Flav, "Yeeeaahhh Boyyyyeee!!!" We ask why we don't love each other romatically, but just look at how we treat other sometimes.
Actually, even though I sometimes criticize us gay men for being only prepared for the next hook-up in the face of this immanent revolution, I probably mis-characterized my own cause. We are actually a very spiritual people. We think deeply and profoundly. The world has given us no choice but to rise up, in both consciousness and status, in a world that tries to give us identities that we simply cannot own. We know that we have strong values, and I know that we will overcome. And not just "someday," but someday soon and very soon!
Comments conceal
Liquid Fonts
November 1 2006, 9:48AM
Kenneth I had to take a lil break from all the talk on race and sexuality on the board but clearly it is a hot issue...those are some serious eye u have in that pic..luv it!
Terrance
November 1 2006, 11:43AM
Wow. I'll have to check out the message board to see how that discussion is going. I have to be honest and say that usually when the subject above is discussed I tend to put my hand over my mouth and dive for cover, because I've found myself in the middle of some unpleasant discussions in the past, as a black gay man with a white partner.
Maybe I should poke my head in the door just to listen to what's being said...
Ty
November 1 2006, 12:15PM
I don't see why it is a big deal with the inter-racial dating thing. The white guys who want black men 9 times out of 10 are bottoms looking for some sterotypical black dude. Until that changes, I say let them date the brotha's who want to fulfill those peculiar needs, and it leaves the real men for the rest of us. Sadly, race is an issue in the world, not just the USA, always has, always will be, and within the gay community, it is magnified much more due to the fact that white gays seem to say it does not exist, even though it does.
Chris
November 1 2006, 10:36PM
"Folks seem realistic in understanding that love has the right of way, but others can't help but question why Black men don't love Black men more often."
As a gay white male, and I'm only 17 too if that makes any difference, it kind of hurts when I see stuff like this, since I intimately prefer black men. My best friend is black, and he's the only person I've loved unconditionally thus far. My first boyfriend I cared deeply for too, and he was black. It just seems that whenever I read what black people have to say about interracial dating on here or elsewhere, none of "you" support my decision to date outside my race. It isn't that I like big black dick as so many morons I know keep telling me, it's because I see love as love. So of course a comment like Ty's hurts even more (I guess I'm that 1/10 white guy), I just wish more blacks would support me, not because I support them, but because I'm a person too. If I'm wrong, it's just how I've seen the situation time and time again.
Ty
November 2 2006, 9:21AM
Chris, do your thing, and love who you want. You are just a young kid, and, I for one, hold nothing against you, just a older guy, who has seen how the world of white gay men works, and it is usually in a negative light for black men for the most part. Some who post on this board will recall the not so "old" days when to get into a gay club, the only one asked to show 2 or 3 id's were the black guys, along with a silly rule for lesbians of no open toed shoes, but, men could wear sandals and flip flops. Stuff like this made me more apprecitve of being black and loving black men without all the hassles of having to conform to others ideals. Maybe the young guys will evoke some change in the narrow ideals of desireablity among the larger gay community, but, to anyone who finds love with someone from another race, get your swril on and be happy.
Robert
November 2 2006, 11:51AM
The problem is more generalized, in my experience. My first husband was Panamanian-Chinese, and while I didn't get any grief from Latino or Asian gay men for being with him, the 'interracialist' white gay men I met through his friends were something of a horror show. After he died, and I met my second (and current) husband, who is black, I got a different flavor of crazy from people who assumed (since I was with a black man) that I didn't, and had never, dated any other kind of men. When they found out that I was also attracted to Asian and Latino men, it completely jammed their signals.
So, Chris, just remember that, as my mother used to put it, 'people are dumber than anybody else'. Listen to Ty, he knows what he's talking about.
Derrick from Philly
November 2 2006, 2:50PM
Y'all had Jackson13x furious on the message board. He was about to "read" all y'all for not appreciating the power of the booty. For some of us, the booty is the primary body area of sexual...oh, never mind.
But I'm witcha' Jackson13x. As a fellow "bottom" I'm right behind ya! Absolutely no pun intended, darlin'.
Comment Preview