Which Is It: Black Gay or Gay Black?

Brandon
September 1 2006, 1:30AM

"To my gay white brothers and sisters, I am tired of my back being used as a bridge to your blackness, Build your own or at least have the decency to pay a toll."

I am not sure I understand that statement. How is he a "bridge to blackness"?

Good essay though, puzzling, infuriating, and inspiring all at the same time.

John
September 1 2006, 8:24AM

Brandon,
I agree ... as an older white gay man who was married for thirty years with three children I am glad he wrote this piece and will keep a copy to read and share with others, black and white ... gay and straight.

JP
September 1 2006, 8:46AM

Wow. Powerful and inspiring. Keith - thanks for supporting this brotha. Chad - thanks for your sharing your voice.

ALLEGRO
September 1 2006, 9:57AM

What about that statement do you not comprehend, BRANDON? Hmmm....let me guess.....you are not black, right?

While I dare not speak for him....which in part I believe is what he meant by the statement....I think I know where he might be coming from based upon my experiences. Prehaps he saying that he's tired of being used by his white friends as their turguide through the black expeirence. Perhaps he's tired of his white friends using him as the GO TO GUY regarding all things black. Perhaps he's tired of his white friends putting him in the position of speaking on behalf of the black community whenever issues of race come up,etc. Maybe he's tired of going to his white friends social gathering as the sole representative of people of color so they can let their other friends know that "they are diverse and have diverse friends". With him coming from SEATLLE I cannot begin to imagine the depths of his experiences which prompted that statement.

jerry
September 1 2006, 10:42AM

The Brother is Deep. Right On Keith. Keep doing what you do.

Jay
September 1 2006, 10:52AM

Anyone know how I can get my hands on the chapbook???

"Born One Thousand Years Too Early: Fat, Dark-Skinned, Gay and Adopted by White Folks: A Fragmentary Journey Towards Alignment.”

castiron
September 1 2006, 10:55AM

That essay was powerful! I'm going to look for more of his work. His analysis is sharp.

meme
September 1 2006, 12:26PM

Race/color/sexual orintation in this country are used as measurings stick by which people are deemed worthy.

You can hide the fact that you are gay (many of you can and do-it's easy) but you can not conceal your color, weight, height, and so on. People first see others physical traits not their sexual orientation thus, I sense it dose not matter how people decide to defined themselves yet, we are judge by people based looks.

For me Race is more vital than sexual orientation only because you can conceal it better. Very good article!

Craig
September 1 2006, 12:47PM

Keith can you make sure Randy Boyd gets a copy of this essay......if anyone needs to read it he does.

As to answer the question, for me it comes to down to how comfortable you feel about how you about defining who you are as an individual, I'm proud of being a black man who is gay, when I walk out my door people see a black man. Owning my ethnicity doesn't take anything away from my sexuality.

It's interesting that no one goes up to a white man and ask him if he's a white gay or a gay white.....

Queer Texan
September 1 2006, 1:07PM

As a fellow white gay, Brandon, I can understand your sentiment, but I can also see where he's coming from like Allegro pointed out. He's basically decrying the "tokenness" that some white foist on blacks -- those who pretend to be "down with it," wannabes and such. There's a LOT that could (and has) been written about the latent and overt racism among white homosexuals, and, having a partner who's African American, I've seen it many times from people who think they're being clever by using these token games to hide their insecurities about race. When you treat a person like a "token," you're still throwing race up in their face like they're not even a person.

Good poem, and I'd also like to see where I can find some interesting poems and essays that can teach us all how we can get past this divide. I agree that quite a few white homosexuals are this way, but all of us aren't.

Carlos
September 1 2006, 4:01PM

I must say, one of the best written pieces on the subject that I have read. Usually women of color like bell hooks and Audre Lorde have done the topic justice.

We are often asked or forced to choose oppressions. But why? As a BLACK GAY MAN, GAY BLACK MAN, or MAN who is Black and gay (keep the variations going), I am often ultra aware of my identity. And what comes to the forefront changes . . . sometimes several times in an hour.

By NOT choosing, we are better able to build coalitions. Keep hope alive.

Derrick from Philly
September 1 2006, 4:52PM

Let me say this gently with respect and civility. Some black gay men can "hide" their sexual orientation. Many cannot hide their walk, speech sound, mannerisms. Not only am I speaking about those of us who are self-acknowleged "effeminate", but also many who do not consider themselves "clockable"or femme--they also hear the word "FAGGOT" hurled at them because of their "gay" ways, not their sexual activity.

When I'm amongst white folks I am a black gay. When I'm amongst black folks, I am a gay black. THis was decided for me by the age of 2 or 3 years old by black and white folks(although the words back then were Negro or nigger not black, and sissy/faggot--not "gay". For many of you this is unacceptable. For me it is what is.

DDC
September 1 2006, 6:32PM

"I am both James Byrd's severed head lying on a Texas, highway and Mathew Sheppard’s crucified body on a Wyoming fence."

That is over-the-top and way too dramatic. NO, YOU'RE NOT those men, or you wouldn't be here to write your little essay. And hope you never will "become them". I feel that this statement is pretty disrespectful to those men and what they went through (and their families).

cmoney
September 1 2006, 6:53PM

Well said!! I love it! P.S., DDC the author was being allegorical when he referred to Matthew Shepard and James Byrd. Obviously, he's not dead. You know what he meant!

theeunuch
September 1 2006, 7:14PM

This man is great!
Some gay people can pass for straight. Some black folks can pass for white. But this brother is saying he cannot escape his ethnicity or sexuality. He is reminded of them both on a daily basis. "While homophobia and racism are not the same, it is at their intersection where I am forced to live..." That is classic, that's wassup.

DDC
September 1 2006, 8:33PM

Of course he was being allegorical, that's what I find over-the-top about it. I feel it was also a pretty tacky description he used, but that was obviously done for shock value. I think a better victim comparison for him to have used would be the Notorious B.I.G., because he's one shade and one pound away from being his twin. I do agree with his overall point, just feel he took the sensationalized road.

Mel Smith
September 2 2006, 1:51AM

The essay was great. I agree with your Derrick. I'm gay first, to black folks, and I am black first to white gay folks. It is very interesting!

Riddler
September 2 2006, 3:34PM

The essay was quite thought provoking and insightful. I explained to a straight female friend recently that I am a black man first, last and always. Being gay is another part of who I am. I thought about the idea of choosing oppressions and came to the realization that for me it has been no comparison, racism has been worse than homophobia (for me). Racism exists in the gay community as rampantly as homophobia exists in the black community. But I know my people best of all, I love them. I call black people my folks. I can't say the same for all gay men, white, asian, and hispanics. The connection just isn't there.

I would like to thank the writer for presenting a facinating thought 'which ever one I'm dealing with' that I am who I am in any given situation. Black people have come this far in creation by being resilient, ever changing, facing challenges as they come and from where they come. Being black and gay or gay and black, I face a foe.

Absolutelee
September 2 2006, 6:41PM

This piece is fire! I love it! I can understand how folks may think that some parts of this essay are dramatic and could be inflamatory, but for me they were right on point! They underscore the basis of his essay in relation to the dichotomous struggle between Black and Gay identities that our gay White counterparts don't have to deal with, but that many Black gays do.

It seems that with Black gays folks try to force us to choose our oppression, but oppression is oppression, whether it be homophobia or racism and the bottom line is that both are devastating Black gay communities and both must be addressed with equal concern.

It's also great to see a young brother write with such passion and I look forward to his other pieces and I think I will look out for his book.

chris-leo
September 2 2006, 7:48PM

if we're going to explore this idea of BLACK BEFORE GAY, GAY BEFORE BLACK, we might also want to address the idea that so many of us gay black black gays are - for lack of a better term - PASSING. on those terms, being politically gay is sort of out of the question.

there's no particular opinion on job discrimination because we're not out at work. we wonder what the fuss is about gay marriage, because there's no mom and grandmom to invite to any wedding. "housing discrimination? what's that? my landlord doesn't have to know my business." adoption? "it's not that serious." "i'm just messing around with dudes."

at the bottom of it all, i've found a pervasive sense, amongst my GLACK brethren, that being gay is somehow a fetish or an action and not a deep, organic condition that should be honored and celebrated...the way straight people do it.

as we go from dances to proms to weddings and listen to homophobic music, and sit still for homophobic ministers, our milestones go largely unrecognized

Mel Smith
September 3 2006, 1:20PM

In my 26 years, the gay prejudice I've experienced is worse than any type of racism I've ever experienced.

jared
September 3 2006, 7:01PM

this reminds me of when i was asked by a gay white co-worker when i lived in san franciso who loved to say he was a "progressive" if i was black or gay first. my reply was when i walk into a room, the first thing you see is that i'm a black man, and the only way you wil know if i was gay or not is to ask. so black is always first, gay, not even secoonday.

SouthernEva
September 3 2006, 7:57PM

my mom who is a lesbian and not full out or nothin b/c she says its hella harder being black and a female then gay..we live in the south and she is in corp america so she conducts herself the way she needs to to play the "game".
she is a black woman first and foremost i guess that is what you see..ppl do snap judgements on her b.c of her color than if you were to talk to her and get to know her "life"
so i guess i agree with that. i respect her anyway she handles it..i guess i was naive about it until i started working in corp america..i was conflicted about how i was being received being young, black and a woman in a old white ppl environment..i coudlnt even imagine what she would go thru.

Chad Goller-Sojourner
September 3 2006, 9:33PM

Keith, thanks a bunch for posting my new work & thanks to everyone for your comments.

ks25
September 5 2006, 10:51AM

I agree with some of the article and so you guys point but at the same time I have issues when folks discuss oppressions like race, class, gender, etc without addressing colonization. I identify as a colonized person of color who ancestors are African and Native America. I do seperate my sexuality from who I am culturally!

First and foremost my ancestors were indigenous to Africa and this land and this my primary identity. A lot of my culture has been stripped from me and my family due to enslavement, genocide, Jim Crow, and institutionalized racism. Before, colonization most Africa and Native Americans tribes accepted and praticed homosexuality.

Yes I acknowledge that heterosexual blacks and communities could extremely homophobic, however at the same time we have to acknowledge that homophobia comes from colonization and religion that was forced to them.

Stuffed Animal
September 5 2006, 12:51PM

Asking a Black Gay person whether they identify most with being Black or being Gay is like asking a bi-cultural person which side of their heritage they identify with most. Some will answer favoring one over the other, but others will reply, "How can I separate off parts of myself like that?" I am one of those others. I don't keep the different aspects of myself in individual compartments! They are thoroughly blended within me, and the blend changes what has been blended. I am Gay, but being Black means I'm not the same kind of Gay that a White man is. I am Black, but being Gay means I'm not the same kind of Black that a heterosexual Black man is. I can place the adjectives in whatever order I like . . .their connection to one another, and to me, will not change. BTW, I've heard this myth about "you can hide being Gay" too many times. I'm one of those Gay men everybody knows is Gay as soon as they see me. And there are Black people who can and do hide their Blackness; ever heard of

Stuffed Animal
September 5 2006, 1:53PM

(continuation). . . ever heard of "passing for White?" It was the subject of no small number of novels in the last century. There are Black folk who still engage in that practice, whether deliberately or unintentionally. So please, let's dispense with these sweeping generalizations about ethnicity and sexual orientation.

Derrick from Philly
September 5 2006, 1:56PM

The acts of overt racism I've experienced in my life never seemed to have a long lasting effect on me. A couple were violent attacks. But overt hatred and violence perpetrated by black folks against black gays can be devastating on a personal level. To be attacked by white racists is due to the fact you are black (and their inhumanity, of course). It could happen to any black person. But when gay-hating black folks come at you, it's personal, or it feels personal. Personal pain is always worse than the pain you share with an entire race. I know of black gays who were destroyed by that personal pain. And the satisfaction the gay bashers take in their acts of cruelty is sadistic--BLACK FOLKS AINT SUPPOSED TO BE SADISTS, but some are. We just aint as nice as we used to be, Miss Scarlett.

jutbthat
September 5 2006, 8:05PM

The thinking seems to follow along these lines, "If I am black and gay, I believe that I am dependent upon my Black community for sanctuary on the race issues, ergo, I must then ask myself if I am willing to jeopardize that sanctuary.

To be Black and identify as a gay Black man is to forsake your race for the comforts of your sexuality. As an intern at HRC, I realized how true this was.

When you are or feel forsaken by your race because of your sexuality, you run to the groups that will accept those thing for which you were ousted i.e., your sexuality thereby forsaking the parts of you that are similar to the people who hurt you in the first place. So, to be a Black gay man is to accept your blackness before your sexuality; and you be a gay Black man is to do vice versa.

I recognize and walk in the entitlement of my Blackness and fabulous "SGLness."

justbthat

madprofessah
September 8 2006, 5:37PM

Excellent piece. Inspired a sprited dialogue here in the comments section! I love the references to the Mel Boozer and Essex Hemphill quotes which younger folk may have not heard before.

tony
September 26 2006, 2:10PM

why make an issue out of it i am white and only do black men i love black men

Lonnie
April 20 2007, 2:26AM

Stop snivelling. i love the very black men that you are whingin about raping you. Send them to me. I know how to please them. Get you a pussy white guy then you will really have something to bitch a bout. Was i5 as good for you as it was for me? Gimme a break..you want it good get a rough riding black guy and you will have a great time

Sandra
January 4 2008, 9:27AM

"To my black brothers and sisters, I did not catch my gayness from white folks no more than I caught my blackness from God’s curse upon Ham. You calling me dirty will not make you clean. I am not the enemy. I am not racism, teen pregnancy, illiteracy, hypertension, unjust incarceration, addiction, molestation, poverty, unemployment, police brutality, homelessness or domestic violence."

I couldn't have said it better myself. I ended up in a very very big argument with one of my best friends, which in turn changed our friendship for a while, because of that particular topic and I wished at the time I had that paragraph. Outstanding essay. I will pass it on. Thanks