Raw Sex Parties "Peddling Death"

By Keith Boykin, in sexuality
Tuesday, August 15 2006, 11:58AM

We've been down this road before. Back in May, there was quite a bit of controversy about a raw sex party here in New York. Local black gay leaders were up in arms. Some people didn't see what the fuss was about, and some still don't understand the problem. For me, the issue was never just about sex parties. It wasn't even about having sex parties that allowed men to have unsafe sex. That's troubling, but we all know that goes on anyway. Instead, the issue for me was that this particular party prohibited participants from having safe sex. Thus, even if a particular participant wanted to have safe sex, the promoters threatened to throw him out.

Now the issue of sex parties themselves has come to the forefront of the gay media. The cover story in the new issue of The Advocate raises a troubling question. Are unsafe sex parties peddling death? Yes, says Phill Wilson, the executive director of the Black AIDS Institute.

Wilson does not mince words. “This is a business enterprise that’s exploiting our community and putting people at risk," he said. “They’re peddling death.” That's a powerful message, but unfortunately the message isn't stopping people from participating in some of these unsafe sex parties.

Although the "Raw Dukes" party in Harlem was canceled, "the underground industry of largely condom-free parties aimed at men of color is still thriving in New York City," according to The Advocate.

The story begins on a warm Saturday night in July when two dozen men in boxers and T-shirts are groping and sexing one another in a pitch black New York apartment. "A young man with a do-rag tightly wrapped around the top of his head enters the room. He pushes another young man over on a makeshift bed and penetrates him—without a condom—for a good 10 minutes. When the guy is finished, he pulls up his boxers and slinks away into another room, disappearing as quickly as he arrived. Neither he nor his partner look older than 20," according to Sean Kennedy.

It's not just happening in New York. It's taking place all around the country, says Kennedy. You can even find postings on CraigsList. And behind many of these sex parties, there's a promoter making a buck. But here's the rub. Although some of the parties do provide condoms, the participants often don't use them anyway. At a Brooklyn party, for example, The Advocate reporter spots a box of condoms by the door "but clearly not everyone is using them," he notes.

Men of Color More Involved In Sex Parties?

If I read the article correctly, The Advocate story also seems to suggest that these parties take place mostly in economically disadvantaged neighborhoods. "Trading on the appeal of thug-life fantasies and questionable notions of 'down low' identity politics, they turn their apartments into commercial pleasure domes, knowing that many gay men, regardless of ethnicity, will play unsafe if given the chance—and if no one’s looking," the article states.

I'm not sure if it's primarily a black thing. A recent review of sex party listings in a recent New York gay magazine found quite a few black and Latino sex parties, but the majority of the parties did not appear to be geared toward people of color.

Whether or not men of color participate in sex parties more than their white counterparts, there is still a major health and safety issue here in our community. I don't think we can or should shut down sex parties. If we do, men will just go to the parks or the public restrooms or somewhere else. But that's not an excuse to give up on the fight against AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases at these venues.