Not Another One Of Keith's Crazy Wrestling Stories
By Keith Boykin, in sports
Monday, August 14 2006, 12:05AM
I spent the weekend in Long Beach, Long Island at the annual U.S. Northeast beach wrestling championship. I had hoped to compete this weekend, but a sore elbow and an unforeseen back injury kept me in the spectator stands instead of in the wrestling circle. Although I didn't get to grapple during the competition, I almost came to blows on the train ride out to the beach. More on that in a moment.
The beach wrestling competition was fun. Nearly 250 wrestlers registered for the competition, some waiting for up to 7 hours out in the hot sun on the beach or hiding under the boardwalk for shade. I had never seen live beach wrestling before, so I was learning the rules as I watched. There was no "mat wrestling," which usually takes place in freestyle and scholastic matches. Instead, wrestlers scored points with one of three maneuvers: pushing your opponent out of bounds, scoring a takedown or getting a pin, the latter of which ended the match.
I must have watched dozens and dozens of matches over the weekend. They happened so quickly (usually 2 or 3 minutes max) that it helped to move the flow with all the competitors. I was impressed by the quality of the competition, which included quite a few high school and college wrestlers, and I was also impressed by the diversity of the wrestlers. Although the overwhelming majority of the competitors were white, there were also quite a few Latino wrestlers and more than a handful of black wrestlers. (Who says black guys don't wrestle?)
I'm glad I went but I was really yearning to compete. Next time I go (hopefully next year) I would like to get out on the sand and wrestle. Instead of wrestling this time, my only real bout over the weekend was that incident I mentioned on the train.
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Beach
One of the great things about New York City is the public transportation system. Trains run almost everywhere you want to go. Subways connect the five boroughs while commuter trains like the Long Island Rail Road link the city dwellers to the beach communities. Saturday afternoon I took the train from Penn Station directly to Long Beach. The trip was quick (about 50 minutes) and mostly pleasant. That is, until one family boarded the train.
After every stop, the train conductor made a new announcement asking passengers to be respectful of other passengers, avoid loud cell phone conversations and not to play music. Everyone seemed to understand until one particular family got on the train and sat almost right in front of me.
One of the girls in the group starting playing her music from her cell phone so loudly that I could hear it while I was listening to my own music on my Ipod. Without removing my ear buds, I looked at the girl and stared at her until she made eye contact with me. "Do you mind?" I said. "Uggh," she replied, rolling her eyes. Then she turned up the music. "This is a train, not your bedroom," I said. Again she rolled her eyes, this time returning to conversation with her other family members.
The train conductor walked by not long after this incident and the girl turned down her music. I thought that would be the end of it until 15 minutes later when I heard the music again. This time it was another member of the family playing the music. Again I asked to turn down the music. But this time, the mother of the kids jumped up and started yelling at me. "They're having fun! Do you have a problem with fun? Do you know what fun is?" she asked.
"This is a train, not a playground," I responded. "Let them have fun and be respectful of the other passengers too," I said. Well, I don't think this mother was expecting me to respond at all because immediately she got indignant and started screaming at the top of her lungs, causing a scene for everyone on the train. I guess she thought that would be enough to silence me. She thought wrong.
While I went to call the conductor, things took a turn for the worse. One of the kids actually asked the mother for permission to hit me. I laughed. "I wish you would," I said, and left it at that. Despite my interest in wrestling, I'm not a violent person, so I knew nothing was going to happen on my end. But when the conductor finally arrived, the kids and the mother accused me of threatening to hit them! The nerve!
I was the only black passenger on the train, so I was wary of creating the impression that this "big black guy" was picking on a defenseless white family. Fortunately, the white man sitting next to me came to my defense. He spoke up and told the conductor that I had done nothing wrong and that the family was the cause of all the commotion.
After hearing the two stories, the conductor warned the family to turn down the music, causing the mother to lose what little of her temper she had held back as she unleashed a fury of obscenities at the conductor for taking my side. "How dare you take his side!" she screamed. "My daughter is hard of hearing and she needs to have music up loud."
"I'm sorry, but loud music is not allowed on the train," the conductor told her.
"But there are no signs up anywhere to say that," she shot back.
"I make announcements at every stop, ma'am."
Then she switched tactics. "He's the one who started it," she yelled, pointing at me. "He was picking on a 13-year-old girl."
"That's not what happened," said the guy sitting next to me.
Thank goodness he spoke up. And thank goodness the mother kept talking. Some people just don't know when to shut up. That was clearly the problem with this mother. For every word she yelled about how I was the troublemaker she made it more and more apparent to everyone on the train that she was actually the problem.
I don't know what kind of life lessons she's teaching her kids, but I hope one day they realize that having fun need not require rudeness and disrespect for others.
Comments conceal
Jeff Hobbs
August 14 2006, 2:12AM
You have so much more patience than me man. That little girl would have been under the train if it were me. I have about a three second fuse! I work with kids that bag groceries for me all day and deal with their smart alec remarks. I hate to ask people to do something more than once!LOL I'm the mean guy at work because I just hate wasting my voice when I talk all day to say the same thing over and over. I'd never make a good parent huh? I'm pretty non-violent but I work in a 'hood thats sort of on the rough tip. I've learned to stand up for myself or get run over by whoever wants to!! You go Keith!! I still say you shoulda put a choke hold on the mother and told the little girl to turn down the music or mommy gets it!LOL You shoulda gone GANGSTA!! lol
rpcjr
August 14 2006, 3:09AM
this is why i say i don't hate kids - they don't know any better. i hate parents!
Wise&Young
August 14 2006, 8:35AM
A damn shame...you're better than me homegirl would have seen me get indignant back, and tell her to go sit on a...well let me stop. I did go to church yesterday lol.
jcampbell
August 14 2006, 9:19AM
A sad story, Keith, while you're just minding your business, getting from one place to the other.
The only aspect of the story I did not care for is that your word might not have been good enough to convince the condutor you were the inoffensive party. Yet again, it seemed to take a WHITE man to put his stamp of approval as if to validate your honesty or innocence.
I've been unwittingly cast as the "big intimidating black guy" myself which apparently gives others carte blanche to do whatever they please. It's not only racial discrimination, it's body-type discrimination, too.
taylor Siluwé![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.keithboykin.com/blog2/nav-commenters.gif)
August 14 2006, 9:40AM
What is this world coming to. Well, at least they were white ... I must admit, a get a stomach ache when its a black mother out acting butt-ignorant in public.
A couple weeks ago, I got that stomach ache too. J and me went to a matinee of 'Lady in the Water', expecting a peaceful experience and a practically empty theater--no such luck as a teenaged mother led in a baseball team of ten year olds, fifteen minutes into the movie.
And they were all talking, babbling about where to sit and who sits where. This went on and on as I sat quietly, patient soul that I am, but fury built up inside. Just then, J suddenly shouted "Are you fuckin' kidding me?"
Now this is the good part.
The one teen who sat with the kids, a guy (the mother, or guardian or whatever, sat in the back by herself inexplicably), jumped out of his seat and told J to watch his mouth, "... there are kids here."
Words were exchanged and the ignorant fool quickly sat down and shut up. I didn't enjoy the movie after that.
CPAPhD![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.keithboykin.com/blog2/nav-commenters.gif)
August 14 2006, 11:18AM
OMG....I've recently had a similar encounter, though with adults rather than children. It's amazing how much my fuse has lengthened. I used to snap at the thought of someone trying to disrespect me. That God for patience. You handled yourself well. I know it was tough though.
LAI
August 14 2006, 11:59AM
KEITH, GOOD FOR YOU!
Brandon
August 14 2006, 12:04PM
Keith,
Your story reflects what is wrong with a lot of us...FEAR!
A lot of pepople would have discussed how rude and simple this family was over supper that night, in the privacy of their own home, but wouldn't have parted their lips to that family of fools on the train! Good for you man!As a side note, I detest all phones that play music,and NEXTEL phones to the tenth power! People that play their personal mp3 players so loud (with earbuds on mind you)that I can hear over my own Ipod should be beaten and fined! The thing I love about you is, you live your truth in every aspect of your life. No battle is to insignificant to fight! Keep making us proud Papa!
Brandon Scott.
Steve
August 14 2006, 8:11PM
Keith - You should have grown up in Iowa. We wrestled every day in gym, whether we were black, white or something else.
In regards to the people on the train, all I can say is "Ignorant straight suburbanites." Only it wouldn't quite be true, there are lots of other ignorant straight people than just suburbanites.
Mark Norris
August 14 2006, 9:42PM
Nice Keith. You keep teaching us the lessons we need. And this one is especially good for someone who is planning to either work with kids or hopefully adopt some in the future. I would have went Madea on her, then told her to "get somewhaarr and saad dow!!"
Dedrick
August 15 2006, 12:05AM
I lived on Long Island all my life. And these lilly white
children think they own the Island. But you handled it
very well. It's sounds like the mother has no conrol over
her children. Were they trailer park trash? You handled
it with class. She was not expecting that. She wanted
drama. I know the type.
Mikey-He Likes it
August 15 2006, 9:15AM
I'm so over these white women and their children. It's like you're just suppose to sit there and smile at them and enjoy the whole nightmare like a nice young black man. They feel as if they have carte blanche and NO one is to call them on it. And if you do you're being insensitive/mean to a mother and her "precious lovelies." Sorry Ann but it ain't happenin!! What's worse is that you're cast as the bad guy automatically while her and her heathens get sympathy. Good for you Keith for speaking up and putting Missy and her rotten kids in their place. Well done!!
PhillyPhile
August 15 2006, 12:15PM
Kudos to you for saying something. My new year’s resolution for this year was to speak up when others are disrespectful and infringe upon others (i.e. when someone is talking loudly in a movie). I feel like when we don't speak up we let ignorance win. I was thinking that my actions would start a small "pay it forward" type movement. However when I get in altercations similar to the one you experience people around me usually clam up.
Msingi
August 16 2006, 1:01PM
I'm really glad this worked out in your favor. Too many situations like this don't work out for us.
C. Baptiste-Williams
August 16 2006, 3:41PM
reminds me of a conversation I had with my mother this weekend where I reminded her that her generation and their lack of parenting skills are partly responsible for the nonsense that is going on today.
will
August 18 2006, 1:59AM
I completely agree with the comment made by jcampbell that your complaint had to be validated by a white man to gain traction. I wonder had that been a Black familyand the complaint had been lodged by a white person if the conductor would have been so tolerant of such outrageous behaviour. I have this suspicion that they would have been asked to disembark. I recall Earl Graves telling interesting stories of events that happened to him on the Long Island train.
sean
August 22 2006, 6:10PM
had it been me, i would have sat back with smug bemusement knowing that in about five or so years that teen with the hearing deficiency will have, instead of an mp3 ear bud in her ear, a hearing aid. apparently the "mother" is too busy arguing with strangers over imagined transgressions to notice that her daughter is going deaf from the very same device that started this whole brouhaha. haha.