Randy Boyd Is Not Happy With Black Gays

-G-
August 11 2006, 12:24PM

If he wants his "DREAM" of black and white gay love, let him have it....because yet it is his "DREAM". That is his preference, but in turn, he does criticize the fact that many of us black men love and cherish only black men. And that is our preference. I know people like him, who hate themselves so much that they would never consider dating or getting involved with their own race. Because for some reason or another, dating white men validates them to the rest of the world. I have never in my life felt the need for such validation, because I know what I liked and what I am attracted too. But at the same time, I will not knock him for being attracted to someone out of his race.But I do have issues with people who grow up in a black community, with black parents and friends. Went to a black school, black church, and listened to black music, all of a sudden turning the table and being disconnected. Saying in many degrees that they desire nothing black...that then is self hate.

GentlySerious
August 11 2006, 12:27PM

The problem is not with gay interracial relationships.

The problem is with men and women, regardless of race, who REJECT people from their erotic purview purely because of race. This is a huge generalization based on unacknowledged assumptions about a particular race. But those that have "exclusive" racial attractions often declare "that's just my preference" without interrogating why it is that she or he fixates on one race erotically.

So Mr. Boyd is to applauded for writing stories that depict positive interracial relationships.

But if Mr. Boyd is one of those black men who fixates exclusively on white men and then complains that he's not accepted by black men; if Mr. Boyd looks for white men exclusively because he thinks that "the black community" has failed him; if Mr. Boyd thinks blacks are more homophobic than whites and therefore fixates on whites erotically; if Mr. Boyd fixates on whites because he thinks black men have no class...if Mr. Boyd is any of these things then he should be CONDEMNED.

Jeff
August 11 2006, 1:25PM

I agree with gently serious. Condemned is a strong word but he should definitely be held accountable. I don't know why people don't understand that we need to see relationships that show that we can love one another. I believe that's why we don't stick together. We've been so messed up from the past that we can't get beyond it. They may see it as pro-black but it's actually a positive thing. It's funny how we're the only ones that people scold when we choose to love one another. You don't see white people being chastised for it when they love each other. Did Randy complain about Queer as Folk like he does about Noah's Arc? Probably not...

jared
August 11 2006, 1:41PM

call me out of the loop, but, why does it matter to him why a person likes a certain person? not all black men need a white man to validate them or to make them feel good. and he really needs to take a look at online ads, and take his issue up with the white gays, when 9 of 10 of them will put any race under the sun but black men, and the ones who do, seem to have a fantasy and seem to prefer one sex act. i don't have a probem with people who date who they want, but, don't get mad when there are magazines that cater to black men or a tv show, since the gay white commuinty has said, black faces don't sell magazines, so, that's why we don't run them. and that show "queer as folks" set in a city in the northeast and not one black person? or any of the well made porn movies, not the $5 ones with hood rats? me thinks his shouts of foul are way off base, and he should stay with that group he is in, and they can keep the fetishs going based on race since in the real world, we all know how it is. so, to each his own

Cincinnati NAMjA
August 11 2006, 1:43PM

Mr. Boyd shoul dnot be surprised by this reaction and should not be dis heartend by negative critisism. He is a writer that is writing about a very contoversal aspect of an already contiversal subjuct.

Troy
August 11 2006, 1:55PM

Too bad that none of the things mentioned in the article had anything to do with the lack of love for his book, oh well...So, Mr. Boyd, any solutions to the complaint and the blame, future and upcoming writers, both black and white and all colors in between, await your answer?

jay
August 11 2006, 2:25PM

I am a black gay man that has dated mostly white men, primarily because of the rejection I have experienced from black men most of my life, however I love and am grateful that shows like Noah’s Arc features black on black love the way that they do and I hope they continue to do so, seeing those black men getting busy is awesome. It’s true that I like “black/white” love but I also like “black/black” love, and I hope that black men will as time goes on become more tolerant and accepting of gay black brothers.

Ya know Randy, Black and White men together is nothing new in other words its old, but black gay men loving black gay men is unfortunately new in other words starting to be viewed in a positive light. With the dissension and divisiveness that has been a part of black men turning self hatred on earth other it would seem that you would be happy and celebrating it. Personally I think you are being a winy dissentious black man right now and in reality we have way too many like you.

themythslayer
August 11 2006, 2:36PM

His smirk brings to mind the gay white guy who asked Bush pro-Bush questions and got caught by the sissy's and shook. I forget his name( that makes me question his relevance.) There is a lot of self hatred residing in both of those individuals, evident in the lashing out at the communities that they obviously feel rejected them - for obvious reasons. I wonder what emotions pass between his head and his heart when his black fantasy cheerleader is being pounded by the "white" quaterback. Is this really Mr. Boyds fantasy or one manufactured to replace one that has been permanently dashed? And, for real - for real, why the fuck do I care? But I do.(sigh)

Terrance
August 11 2006, 2:50PM

I'll probably have something to say about this on my own blog later. But as a black gay man who has a white partner, who's caught heat for it from other black gay men before, I can identify with some of what Boyd says.

It seems there's an assumption made when people see a black man and and a white man together. And it doesn't seem to matter when I say that before I met my partner I dated men of various ethnicites -- black, white, asian, latino, arab, etc.

At some point you get tired of it and stop trying. From my perspective, when I came outI stopped apologizing for or justifying whom I love years ago, and I don't have much time any more for anyone who thinks I need to -- or that I owe it to them -- to do either.

Troy
August 11 2006, 2:57PM

Thank god James Baldwin didn't sit home and cry. And he wasn't pretty or buff nor did he play football. In the end and during his life booksales and winning over certain crowds weren't the only things on his mind...

Charles
August 11 2006, 3:03PM

Mr Boyd can cry a river. There are plenty of outlets for white men and those who adore them. The same can not be said for black men who love black men. Kudos to those organizations that deemed his work unsuitable for their audience. We already know how to love and get along with white people. We have to do it to live in this world. The trick is doing so and keeping your sanity at the same time. That's made even more difficult when you see one of your black brothers walking down the street with his white boyfriend and you attempt to speak and he looks the other way. We have to learn to love our black selves before we can reach out to others. Many of us aren't there yet.

Bernie
August 11 2006, 3:07PM

Marketing 101: Don't try to sell consumers on something they have determined they neither want nor need.

Solution: Either find a consumer base of "inter-racialists" (as you apparently have by addressing NABWMT) or revamp your product to portray scenarios of Black men loving Black men.

But whining because people whose desires you haven't taken into consideration AREN'T interested in your product is simply disingenuous. It isn't they who have a problem.

Dwight Powell / Clik
August 11 2006, 3:10PM

It's very funny that Clik Magazine was mentioned here. Not only do I not know much about Randy, but I have never seen any of his novels - maybe sending review copies to my office would be a good start. As many of you know, I would probably be the last to object to interracial relationships – I’ve had a few. There are other ways to gain publicity - this surely isn't the way. Clik is a magazine for and about Black gay men – We cater to a market almost untouched by other pubs – Black men our primary focus. However, we're open to considering all quality work regardless of race.

cmoney
August 11 2006, 3:11PM

I really don't care who dates whom, but it is irritating when Black men who date White men act like they are better than other Black men, or that they can't even speak or acknowledge other Black people. You guys know who you are. The rejection of Boyd's book might be a response to the behavior of many Black men who date White men. Here are some pointers to those who date White men--before you scrunch up your face and roll your eyes when you see another Brother a) go to a Black barber and get a decent haircut, b)stop thinking that we want your man and c) check your White "prize" because he's the one chasing after the other Black men--not the other way around. Date who you want, but don't act like a racist white woman when you do.

Rockinrob
August 11 2006, 3:28PM

CMONEY IS "RIGHT ON THE MONEY"!

nova
August 11 2006, 3:30PM

If someone has seriously rejected his work on that basis then those folks have a problem, period. He's well within in his rights to depict his characters' relationships in whatever fashion he chooses. I think it's a sad day that certain people aren't evolved enough to where something like that gets under their skin.

Bernard
August 11 2006, 3:42PM

Conservatives always whine, bitch, and moan about how the "liberal media" shuts them out, how "liberals" dominate every discussion, and how "liberals" are "unenlightened." Of course conservatives dominate talk radio, have several major outlets and an entire news network (Faux Newz) to get their message into the universe however they see fit. Now substitute Mr. Boyd for "conservative" and Black gays for "liberal" and you get basically the same hypocritical bullshit. Mr. Boyd's style of literary interracial hocus pocus comes from a long tradition of interracialist fiction that at one time completely dominated all ethnic gay books and whatnot form the 60's through the 80's: every book by a black gay author that came out was practically the same Black Boy Meets White Savior claptrap. It wasn't until the late 80's/early 90's that Black-on-Black sex/romance hit the market and was embraced by people whose lives had been invisible. Maybe he should take a page from them instead of crying about them not reading his.

TerrenceSays
August 11 2006, 3:57PM

I also co-sign with Gently Serious. Also, why would I read a book about red and green grapes when my primary interest is in apples? There's no need to cram the book about red and green grapes down my throat. As an author, he needs to know his audience.

There are some people who are under the illusion that we are all the same, but we are not.

It sounds like Mr. Boyd found the right group and forum to validate his work, interests and ideas, just like participants in At The Beach, readers of Clik and viewers of Noah's Arc have found. I am glad he had his epiphany.

I personally believe true love - especially by happenstance - sees no color, but isn't interesting how black men who date outside of their race - particularly those who date white men - always talk about how they catch "hell", "stares", "heat" etc. from black gay men, but rarely say how they catch the same from white gays?

I guess all white gays - particularly white men - are 100% accepting of black/white relationships. (sarcasm)

craig
August 11 2006, 3:58PM

I read his bok Uprising and found his writing lack substance, the plot was dumb and his book made black gay men seem worthless unless thay had the love of a white man. It wasn't until after I read his book that I found out his lover was white and the he was a member of black/white men together. I just think he's a self hating black gay man who want's to blame the fact he has no connection with other black gay men on the black gay community and not own up to his own issues of being black and gay. I know many of gay white men who have no problem connecting with the black gay community, maybe if Randy spent more time with his black gay brothers he would feel better about himself.

-T-
August 11 2006, 4:11PM

In the media, gay and straight, the gay images of two men of African descent coupled are rare.

For the most part, it is the same image again and again, a black and white man together. To put down NOAH'S ARC and a magazine like CLIK is unfair and does not take these images into account. Moreover, why doesn't Mr. Boyd question the almost exclusive number of images of white and black men together as opposed to the paucity of images of black men coupled in magazines, television, and film? Why doesn't he question the copious messages being sent that seem to validate black/white gay attachments over black/black gay attachments?

Let me add that being pro-black does not mean being anti-white. And, a black man's preference for other men of African descent may be because he simply finds white men of little sexual appeal. I love and celebrate the shades and ethnicities of black men and prefer the brothers absent of "hate" for white men.

karsh
August 11 2006, 4:13PM

And here I thought he was mad no one wanted to read it because it's on par with the Bible for page length. I'm talking 700+ pages in a paperback.

I know that's why I didn't read it.

Randy Boyd
August 11 2006, 4:29PM

I, Randy Boyd, did not say I was unhappy with black gays.

I'm not happy or unhappy with any one group of people in this world.

What I'm frustrated about is the lack of support from specific black gay media entities, the lack of even mentioning my work in black gay magazines, the lack of characters on television that reflect my experience, and the blatant rejection of me and my dreams by the At the Beach salon, to name a few examples.

The headline RANDY BOYD IS UNHAPPY WITH BLACK GAYS is salacious and does not reflect my point of view.

j. brotherlove
August 11 2006, 4:32PM

Boyd's talent notwithstanding (I haven't read any of his work), the acceptance of interracial relationship in the black gay community IS an issue. I'm glad it's being discussed a bit here.

We really need to improve our ability to embrace ourselves and our images without putting down others.

Even if a black man dates white men as a result of self-hatred, it is an insulting and dangerous assumption to make without knowing THAT man. We can't keep pointing fingers at people who reject us when we do the same damned thing.

Marlon
August 11 2006, 4:55PM

Ok, your ‘lil controversy has brought more visibility to your works. Great! However, just don’t become the gay Jesse Peterson: an Uncle Tom, Black hating, Negro.

Surely you’re cognizant why we desperately crave understanding of our own existence as sgl’s. I NEED to witness my existence through various media outlets so to possibly grasp why sgl brotha’s are complex individuals, why he loves so damn hard, or why he self-hates. And most important – to better understand ME! I NEED more black on black loving artistic works.

Therefore, your work isn’t high on my must read list but I’m sure it’s excellent!

Bernie, Troy and others are correct: you’re whining bro.

Byron C. Mayes
August 11 2006, 4:55PM

Randy, you won't see many references to "Sex in the City" in Essence magazine because "Sex in the City" is (was) about white women and Essence's target audience is Black women. That doesn't mean that the editors of Essence don't respect "Sex in the City," just that the show wasn't relevant to the people to whom they're trying to sell magazines.

Your work is not relevant to the readers of Click or the viewers of "Noah's Ark." Your work is relevant to the members of NABWMT, and maybe a few readers of "Genre."

And as far as characters on TV that reflect your experience, did you ever watch "Six Feet Under" or "Spin City" (both shows with a much larger exposure than "Noah's Ark")? Black men in gay relationships on TV are almost always with white partners ("Frasier" had one with an Asian). Yours is easily the better-documented experience.

What's your real complaint?

jay
August 11 2006, 4:57PM

Randy I think you have missed the point entirely, black men dating white men is nothing new, as a matter of fact it is tied to a lot of self-hated among black gay men, and truthfully you are actually adding to the self-hatred not taking away from it. It is beyond refreshing to see black gay men loving black gay men and I hope the community keeps moving forward with it. I think “Right Now” it is far more important to the community than black/white gay relationship issues; which is truly tired and old.

Luddite
August 11 2006, 5:13PM

WOW, this thread really touched a nerve. The consensus seems to be Mr. Boyd dates white men because he is "self loathing about being black" and of course the white men are only with him for some hot Mandingo fantasy.

I agree with j.brotherlove posts. I don't make assumptions about people's choices without knowing the person and their situation. I actually DON'T CARE who a total stranger dates or why. If I see a man whom I am attracted to, all up on a man of a different race, I don't take it as a personal rejection. As for my friends, I don't care whom they date, as long as the person treats my friend well and with respect.

The people I know/knew who were self loathing acted out by alcohol abuse, meth/and other drug abuse, sexual addiction with unsafe sex, and other unhealthy compulsive behaviors. They ALL (gay and straight) dated people who were delighted to wreck havoc on their lives and drag them into the gutter...where they thought they belonged.

-T-
August 11 2006, 5:57PM

Mr.Boyd no one here has said the attachments shared by a black/white couple is worthless or that the depictions of such stories in your book(s) are worthless. Nor, has anyone challenged the integrity of every inter-racial gay relationship or condemned all such relationships. At the end of the day, one shares his bed with whomever he desires or has fallen in love with. But, your comments were harsh and failed to take into consideration importance of certain black gay media who fill the needs of black gay men who have only seen the usual stereotypical images of themselves coupled with white men. Your comments penalize the majority of black gay men wanting to see images of themselves loving and desiring other black men as opposed to the status quo of black and white men alway paired together. Why didn't you question this latter persistent image in gay media to your NABWMT audience?

Dwight Powell / Clik
August 11 2006, 5:57PM

Randy isn't serious about engaging with Black gays. I just tried to reach him to discuss his claims about Clik and this is what I got:

West Beach Books contacted your magazine several times when Walt Loves the Bearcat debuted earlier this year. To date, I haven't received any response that indicates an interest in featuring me and my works.

I am not alive to debate points of view or defend my feelings.

I'm alive to share my feelings and dreams with the world, mostly through my writing. As such, I'm not interested in engaging with those that do not bless and actively support me and my dreams. If you have something to offer in support of me and my dreams, I'll be happy to talk. Otherwise, here's wishing for better things. I don't put time or energy into reading or listening to the words of those who don't support me and my dreams. West Beach Books will only be forwarding to me emails that reflect this wish.

Randy Boyd

Honestly I never got you pitches.

jared
August 11 2006, 6:13PM

as an avid reader and a guy who loves books with black gay men in them, and have read interracial ones as well, and just might read this one as well. i have never heard of this book. i still don't see why he is so angry about more black guys not reading his book? why aren't more white guys reading them? where is the advocate? did they do a cover story on it? and, as for that 1 out of 10 white guy who dates black guys, he is indeed rare. at the top of the interacial dating list is hispanics, then asians, and then if at all black men. so, to cry foul that the book isn't going over well isn't fair, you need to get it marketed right, and think positive, not go off on the market you are trying to sell to.

Bernie
August 11 2006, 6:14PM

If he thought he didn't have a Black gay following before....

Talk about how NOT to develop an audience.

Cafetino
August 11 2006, 6:15PM

If he is angry with black men, why isn't the same anger with white men since it is an interracial novel. If black men aren't purchasing his book and the sales are bad, white men aren't running to it either. He made need to speak with his marketing department or as the old saying goes, if you want something done right do it yourself. If sales were good, he wouldn't have anything to say about who is purchasing it because he wouldn't care. Because the book isn't doing as well as he would like, he points fingers at the black gay community. (Shame Shame)

Personally, I didn't know anything about him or his books but I will be looking for them. Anything that has black gay POSITIVE MALES (positive= role models) in it, I am there. I wish him well and will be hitting Amazon right after this post.

kia
August 11 2006, 6:36PM

well, i dont know if i agree with how critical boyd is being towards the black gay community. but i do celebrate the fact that he is being proactive in creating a space in which he and people who feel the same way he does can feel comfortable. i know that as a part of the black lesbian community, i often feel like an outsider because i do not fall into the "femme"/"stud" dichotomy that seems to be popular with people my age. on the other hand, i do not look down on those who consider themselves to be "femme" or "stud" because it is their personal preference.

Kano
August 11 2006, 7:29PM

Mr Boyd indeed have provoked...
Notwithstanding, this is double standard. In our community both gay and str8 and through Africa Diaspora, there is a fixation with desiring Eurocentric beauty and attributes. Our self image represented in the media and by the way, we endorse accentuates this point adequately. By far and large, Mr Boyd and its supporters are an extension of this stance; they're just keeping it real. Not once have I see a Non-Eurocentric looking brotha voted the sexiest man on BGC.com or a truly Afrocentric sista voted the sexiest in black magazines let alone non-blacks. I acknowledge that historical factors (i.e slavery, colonisation, etc) have played pivotal roles in sharing our tastes, norms and values. Still as India Aire sang...isn't it about time we redefine ourselves.... BTW: I don't date non-blacks or truly believe in interracial relationship when there is no true equality existing between the two parties involved, in this context, between black and white.

Liquid Fonts
August 11 2006, 7:39PM

As I read through the comments I can't help but be sadden by how quickly people slap black gay men who date white men with labels like "self hatred and/or lack of love for the black gay community". It reminds me of those multiple choice exams where "not enough information" or "none of the above" might be a more appropriate response.

I can see that people who are posting these comments are trying to express pride in being black sgl/gay but seem to be use the wrong platforms like interracial dating ; calling black men who date white men self-hating or unconcious for example.

The subject of interracial dating alone is not enough information to come to an accurate, meaningful understanding as to which individuals who choose to date another race are in fact self hating and turned off by their own culture. Do we really want black gay culture to administer stiff penalties for those who choose to date outside of their "race"?

If you were getting money from an atm you probably wouldn't just stuff the mon

Keverix
August 11 2006, 8:00PM

I am convinced that the innate hatred Black men have for gay men was caused by white gay slave owners. Randy's a SLAVE giving u the essence of Mandingo-esqueness. White male slave owners went on top of the block DEMANDING the big, fine, muscle-bound mandingo sirloin with the third leg in the baby shoe before they paid for it. They grabbed it to make sure it could fill their unlimited capacity for slug. Not much has changed (yawn). When I grab and sqeeze fruit in the grocery store it because I want to eat it! Those brothers were turned into sex slaves while their wives cooked grits and chicken wings and could say nothing (probably the reason brothers are so adamant about lying to sisters about their preference) They could never say no! Every white queen I have run into inspects my peice thru my jeans b4 they say hello. Sorry, I'm not with it.

ka-os
August 11 2006, 8:07PM

Some points I think it's worth noting:
1) If a black man wants to have relations with a white man, maybe it's simply because it rocks his boat, and not because he is filled with self-hatred et cetera.
2) If a white man wants to have relations with a black man, maybe it's simply because it rocks his boat, and not because he harbours twisted slave fantasies (something largely specific to the US - interracial relationships flourish across the globe. Also, isn't the hip-hop thug stereotype now being used by bitter brothers angry about interracial love?)
3) Black on black love is good. But don't step on those who take a different path.
4) White men who date black men, but who have exclusively white friends and listen to Kylie and Madonna, are probably into twisted slave fantasies. If you love black men, step outside your white world.

j. brotherlove
August 11 2006, 8:14PM

I'm not understanding the hostility. If Boyd has experienced resistance to his work being reviewed/showcased than, as an artist, he has every right to complain about it.

He did not attack the entire black community or black men. He named three organizations which most of us are not members of and also commented that Keith's headline does not reflect his point of view.

Anyone that believes interracial coupling doesn't appeal to some population in the black gay commmunity shouldn't complain about the lack of black faces in white gay publications.

jared
August 11 2006, 8:23PM

the point that is still missed here is that most white gay men don't want black gay men on any level, that is a fact, not fiction. love who you want, but, don't get angry that not everyone has the same desires or want to go after men who don't want them. half the time a balck man can't even get into a white bar without a hassle to meet one! and, at last check, there were more white gay men than black, so, why aren't they buying the book? look at the readers choice on amazon, and you can see who is who by what books they like and buy. its no big deal, if, you want a popular book, do like many other strugglig writers, sell them yourself, get some book readings, but, don't blame people for poor sales, not good business. if you can find love with a white man, brown, asian, or purple go for it, in the end, its all about you, not others.

Dwight Powell / Clik
August 11 2006, 8:45PM

j.brotherlove - I don't know what world you're living in, but the three organizations mentioned by Richard are heavily supported by the Black gay community. So you're stretching when you say that, "most of us are not members of". My subscription database and bookstore sales, and Noah’s Arc viewer ship says otherwise. This is a very interesting debate - let's stay on point.

DDC
August 11 2006, 8:55PM

Please explain to me what's so wrong with having preferences? There is an audience for EVERY subject under the sun. So while it IS good that the media is showing more black-on-black gay love stories, it's also reprehensible that Randy Boyd is being flat out ignored/rejected by black media venues because his stories are interraicial. BTW, when media catering to a predominately white audience don't acknowledge E Lynn Harris/etc how is this different??? TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT.

Charles
August 11 2006, 8:58PM

Part One

Limitations of the mind and spirit are so rampant in the black gay community. Much like the straight black community to seriously date someone non-black is a betrayal of your blackness, all of which I find sad and stupid.

My blackness is based on my skin color and nothing more. I do not need to act or do anything to bring value to my blackness. I do not need to slur my speech, wear “bling”, or drive a cool car. Now some people may view the above as negative images of blacks however it is what in today’s world is gaining more and more acceptance as being credible for “blackhood”. We continue not to evolve and respect the diversity that is all around us and is growing every single day here in America.

Liquid Fonts
August 11 2006, 8:59PM

...money in your pocket before making sure it was correct so why is it okay for black gay men and women to not be just as diligent when dealing with transactions involving black gay social currencies?

Juan
August 11 2006, 9:03PM

I think the brother is hitting the pipe. You don't embrace your black brothers but you want your black brothers to embrace your walk through the snow. I think not. Typically peopel will read (particularly gay literature) what they can identify with. The issue is the white boys ain't buying his books either.

cward
August 11 2006, 9:29PM

Read my full response on the following website, thanks!

http://blindnessandseeing.blogspot.com/

Seahawk
August 11 2006, 9:30PM

I sometimes visit a website called "Outsports."
Randy was once a frequent contributor.
The site is geared, obviously, toward gay men who like sports, but it should be called "WhiteoutSports."
They have an amazing ability to avoid pictures and articles about black jocks. They go through great pains to find the two or three white guys in the NBA, or the handful of 'hot' blonde guys whom they deem attractive.
If you visit their site now, you'll wonder, "How can a sports site be so devoid of black athletes?"
Randy was apparently fine with this racist context. How dare he say a motherfucking word to ANY of my brothers about his book sales.

anthony davis
August 11 2006, 9:47PM

I really find Randy Boyd's entire argument to be somewhat laughable.I am a black gayman who love my black brothers and always will.I am a black gayman who support my black gay institutions and always will.The images that I want to see are those images that depict black on black love so therefore as a black gayman who adheres to this I want to see those images that depict this. Randy Boyd's work has never interested me and it never will because it is work that comes from the perspective of someone who dates exclusively white. I don't take offense to this because hey that's your preference but in the same breath don't take offense to the fact that there our some segments of our community who don't share your view so therefore don't feel inclined to support your work.

TerrenceSays
August 11 2006, 9:47PM

If I had gotten that response Dwight, I swear I wouldn't waste my time. Dude sounds like he has mental and entitlement issues. But it's your call - not mine. BTW, I think your second response to j. brotherlove was right on point.

DDC asks, "What's wrong with having preferences?" My response....There's nothing wrong with preferences, but there is something wrong with EXCLUSIVE preferences, in my opinion. If you want true love, why should you care what color it comes in? This is my beef with full-blooded black snow queens. I prefer brothas, but if I connect spiritually with a non-black man - then so be it.

DDC says, "it's also reprehensible that Randy Boyd is being flat out ignored/rejected by black media venues because his stories are interraicial."

My response - I thoroughly believe in the bootstrap principle. Although we all need somebody to lean on from time-to-time, when others don't invite you to the party - have your own. Stop whining and begging.

j. brotherlove
August 11 2006, 10:03PM

To clarify my "point" (although, I doubt if few misunderstood what I meant by "most of us are not members of")...

I was referring to people who actually make decisions in the organizations Boyd listed. Those people should be responding directly to Boyd's accusations (as one of them has).

Since, most of us on this thread are not those people, the anger (in my opininon) speaks more to personal beliefs/conflicts rather than to Boyd's complaint.

I don't give any special award to people who only date within their race. I would hope you date people who love you in the manner in which you need. Only you know what that looks like.

Erick
August 11 2006, 10:13PM

Hmm... I'm not against interracial dating. Based on my persona, it's often assumed I date outside my race. I prefer black men, aware that after physical attraction, it's no guarantee of compatibility but the odds are in favor of it.

That being said, I don't support black men who exclusively CHOOSE to date white men. Not being attracted to black men is self-hatred. To me, the message is white skin, straight hair and European features (be it English, French, Italian or Spanish) are beautiful while dark skin (from tan to ebony), kinky hair and African features are ugly.

No matter how it is labeled or argued, it's self-hatred. Because of our society and the history behind it, we all have it in varying degrees (I don't think it's possible to completely escape it), but to only seek out white men (or Latino, Asian, whatever) is to justify and endorse racial hatred.

Zonetha_Regret
August 11 2006, 10:31PM

It isn't our fault that you had to stoop so low, Why do you think that you have just arrived. Movin on up, Moving on up to the EASTSIDE. YOU THINK YOU GOT PIECE OF THE PIE. You better read the paper because celebrating diversity is for the birds not people. You can have all the white men you want and so please save the black men for me.

Steve
August 11 2006, 11:08PM

I guess I continue to hope that someday we can get past the issue of skin color from all perspectives. Maybe it's a hope in vain, but I continue to work toward that in my own life.

DDC
August 11 2006, 11:15PM

Terrence I think there's a difference between preference and hatred, but many here are interchanging the two. They're comparing hatred from "snow queens" to Randy Boyd's books(?).

& I need to comment on Keverix's insanity. Dude, are you sniffing glue? There is virtually NIL about the homosexuality that took during slavery, so where are you getting all this salacious detailed info from? Were you THERE, bro? Since we can agree that you weren’t born prior to 1865, and there is no historical data that talks about the sexual exploitation of black MALE slaves, then you must’ve thought these scenarios over extensively: big black bucks getting groped and raped by horny white Massa while their slave “wives” did "NOTHING" (including fight off unwanted sexual advances themselves, which historians CAN ascertain)... UM, SOUNDS LIKE THE ELABORATE SEXUAL FANTASIES OF A RACIST, I.E. YOU. So maybe if you come to terms with your OBVIOUS desire for white men, then you wouldn’t be so angry (& wrong).

Jeff
August 11 2006, 11:21PM

I don't know you Randy so I can't really judge but it is interesting to find that you haven't complained in the least about white support. In order to understand a market that may not be into your product, you need to research but you're not even willing to talk as evidenced by Dwight Powell. So if you're frustrated but not really interested in dialogue to a resolution, why be upset? It's like what I hear now about some in the white gay community talking about us having our own pride celebrations. It's history repeating itself. They asked us "Why do you have your own TV network"? It's because we want some validation of who we are that we didn't get in the media. Same in the gay community. Why is that so hard to understand?

allegro
August 12 2006, 12:18AM

Sorry but I don't get the frustration of Mr. Boyd.....AT ALL! To me it seems to be all about $$$$$ and his need for black dollars. If you want our money....guised in the wrapping of "support of your dreams".....then write about something we'd be interested in reading. I have NEVER heard the likes of E. Lynn Harris saying that he doesn't receive the support of the black gay community....especially when the majority of the dollars lining his pocket are actually straight black women. I've never read any of his books nor have I ever heard of him prior to this. Could it also possibly be.....heaven forbid....that his books are.....ummmm.....just not that good? But how do you explain the award nominations? Hmmm...I can't begin to count the number of times where I've seen a praise for MEDIOCRITY.

nova
August 12 2006, 1:56AM

I think it's unfair to assume that Randy should bear the burden of having to depict black-on-black love in his fiction because it's so "sparse". As a creative professional, he can write what he wants. It might not be your reality or my reality, but it's a story worth being told. I find it funny that people would dismiss his work because we cannot relate to it. That's almost like saying black gay men only read books about black gay men. If he was a sci-fi/fantasy novelist that didn't write about relationships and love, should we show him any less support because he's not telling "our" story? I'm a writer. I can write about white folks in love, women in love, & straight folks in love if that's the story I want to tell. And if he feels legitimately snubbed by us, then some comments in this post have confirmed his perceptions.

However, if the book is crap, we can call a spade a spade. But we've been know to support crap in the past, just because it was telling "our" story.

ka-os
August 12 2006, 2:33AM

Some points I think it's worth noting (Pt.II)
5) The gay media, in general, is heavily eurocentric. We know this. The blue-eyed blond is held up as the ideal. Maybe this is because there are many more white gay men than black, and they are more likely to prefer white partners (as black gay men are more likely to prefer black partners).
6) Claiming all white gay men are bad and racist because of this simple fact isn't very smart.
7) Black men are considered sexy and attractive by many white men. Many black men dislike this, and scream blaxploitation et cetera. These same black men buy exploitative porn such as Cocodorm product, and drool over the exploitative sexual imagery of hip-hop and R&B (very young boys like B2K, Ray J, Lil Romeo et cetera). Is it okay for black men and not white men to see black men as sexual objects?

jus4us
August 12 2006, 2:45AM

I find it offensive to single out certain orgnazations . Now I am no fan of NOAH's ARC.....but seeing as how there has never been a depiction on TV that celebrates BLACK MALE on BLACK MALE love before why fault them because you don't see your story in this show. It's the vision and experiences of this particular writer/director/producer. Why does he have to have WHITE FOLKS be a love interest....let alone be in it?

Mr. BOYD where was your OUTCRY during the run of QUEER AS FOLKS? You mean to tell me that a show that depicted a group of all white gay men in the city of PITTSBURGH of all places.....and there were no blacks.....was realistic?

You are a writer aren't you? Then write your own TV SHOW pitch. If not, then go sit down somewhere and put on THE FAMILY STONE to see a celebration of your brand of love.

-T-
August 12 2006, 3:07AM

I don't think anyone here is asking Boyd to bear the burden of depicting black on black love. Let Boyd and any writer of color write according to their tastes.

Richard Bruce Nugent was out back in his day. Late in his life, Nugent, like Boyd, was familiar with NABWMT. Nugent liked white men, especially white Latin men. Nugent even made a white man the executor and heir of his estate before his death.

Coincidentally, Nugents excuse for his sexual preferences was he had been rejected by so many black gay men, he stopped making himself available to them. His excuse is a bit sad and silly to me. Regardless, I still enjoy the work he produced which abundantly display the men he found sexually interesting. Good writing is good writing!

The issue isn't who Boyd prefers emotionally and sexually. It is the hostile and venomous over generalizations of his comments toward the "simple truth as he sees it".

raskl
August 12 2006, 4:52AM

I agree with GentlySerious. Look maybe black gay men are just noy your audience. You know that happens when your selling your material no matter who you are some people like it some people don't.

I am a black man that at 23 fell deeply in love with a white man. Now at 36 I couldn't even imagine that and reading about it would probably make me nauseous. You see I grew older and I learned the many horrible reasons these unions happen in gay America. To me those horrible reasons far out way the fairy tales. You shouldn't critisize the black gay community for the reasons you give.

Liquid Fonts
August 12 2006, 8:20AM

I'm questioning Randy's statement about Clik magazine because in the August edition of Clik on page 26 there is an article by Jowan Watson titled "Monogamous Men". The interesting part is that the photo illustrated (which covers half the page and is displayed upside down, prompting the reader to flip the magazine over to view it ,shows a brotha with long dreads wearing a lime green "Soul Swinger" shirt and some candy striped str8 legged pants-very soulful, vibrant against his chocolate skin. He is snuggling up to his bald-headed boyfriend who appears to be white who's wearing a plain olive green T with what appears to be khaki pants, which suggest that the brotha aint trying too hard at all to be "white" and his man aint all that concerned about appearing black enough..refreshing... both are giggling and sharing "a moment", so I guess if Clik was against promoting diverse couples as Randy suggests, why did the folks at Clik choose an interracial couple on a feature article about monogamy for August edition?

Liquid Fonts
August 12 2006, 9:01AM

His books aside however ,I do agree with Randy's sentiment specifically about not being accepted in the black gay community if you date white men or don't "act black enough", the people who make these rapid fire accusations about the "self-hating black gay man" do so from a spirit of powerlessness, with no real understanding of the individuals who date outside of their race, no understanding of contexts where these relationships can be beneficial and even promoting of ones own cultural pride, and no real understanding of how racist whites will pick up and use their very rhetoric for their own interests.

Liquid Fonts
August 12 2006, 9:34AM

Unfortunately for black gays who are in interracial relationships with whites and also those black gays who may not have access to the urban epicenter of black/black-gay culture, this particular culture of black gays who posted the abusive black-on-black-hate comments attempt to capitalize off of your "race- pride ambiguity" making themselves appear to be "more black" than you and therefore superior, more deserving of authority, kinship, love, and belonging within the black community...shameless bitches.

titi
August 12 2006, 10:02AM

THANK GOD MOST OF US ARE NOT THAT SHORT SIGHTED.
WE HAVE WAITED SO LONG ON WHITES.WHICH ONLY RESULTED IN CONSTENT COMPLAINT OF RASCISM AND SENSE OF BEEN VICTIMISE. WE CAN'T ALWAYS BLAME WHITE RASCISM, BECAUSE OUR LACK OF TAKING CHARGE IS TO BLAME....NOW NEW GENERATIONS ARE LEARNING TO BE INDEPENDANT AND TO LOVE THEMSELF AS BLACK PEOPLE, WHILE UNCLE TOM CAN'T WAIT TO TAKE US BACK TO THE PLANTATION. WE NEED NOAK ARK, CLICK AND VERYTHING BLACK THAT COMES WITH IT....HIS NOT OBLIGE TO WATCH IT OR TO DATE BLACKS. BUT THE REST OF US NEED SOMETHING THAT BELONG TO US SOMEWHERE.SOMETHING WE CAN CALL OUR OWN. HE CAN PROMOTE THAT GARBAGE SOMEWHERE ELSE. WE NEED BLACK GAY ROLE MODELS FOR BLAKC GAYS.BLACK MEN FOR BLACK MEN..SOMTHING BLAC INSTATE OF RUNNING TO WHITE OWNED IDEAS AND INSTITUTIONS WHICH HAS NO REGARD FOR OUR DIGNITY AND INTEREST.THANK GOD WE ARE TAKING CHARGE AND NOT WILLING TO GO BACK.WE DID NOT CREATE THE DIVISION WE ONLY LEARNED TO SURVIVE AND LIVE WITH IN DIGNITY.

titi
August 12 2006, 10:35AM

HE MUST BE REALY SHORT SIGHTED TO BLAME BLACKS FOR SUCH A DIVISION.IF HE WISH TO DATE WHITE THAT'S ALRIGHT WITH ME.BUT THE CONSTENT NEED TO EXPLAIN AND DEFEND BLACKNESS AMONG WHITE FOLK,IS NOT TO EVERYONE TASTE.SOME OF US ARE TO PRIDE TO WANT TO PLAY THAT ROLE. AND BASHING THOSE WHO ARE BUILDING SOMETHING FOR THEMSELF IN A FACE OF CONSTANT HUMILIATION ISN'T FAIR.

Doug Cooper-Spencer
August 12 2006, 11:14AM

Randy says he isn't upset. If u read the speech, he is. It appears what really upsets him is his books not being 'fully' accepted by black SGL's who predominately date within their race. Everyone has a market. When I wrote 'This Place of Men', I wrote of all black leading characters because I write of MY LIFE, just as u write of yours. The fact that I have tended to date black men is because of an EMBRACING of a cultural, historical, politcal commonality. But more than that it is an ASTHETIC (I'm sorry, but I find our black men to be phoine!)to which I have always been drawn. It's less of a rejection of others. It's just that subjective and that real, just as is your life. And to say ur world isn't reflected in the media, ARE U CRAZY? I do agree that ur works should appear in black media, but if the readership doesn't grab it, c'est la vie. (P.S. Dwight, I have the darndest time getting to u and Clik magazine. Emails & phn calls go unanswered. Please contact me: Akanproductions@Gmail.Com)

GentlySerious
August 12 2006, 11:56AM

IN SUMMARY:

(1) Interracial relationships are no better or worse than other partnerships.

(2) EXCLUSIVE attractions to one race are at best gross generalizations and at worse paraphilia. WHERE, HOW, and WHY do exclusive "preferences" develop? Examine oneself and stop fetishizing based on race.

(3) Critique white men and white media who refuse to depict black beauty or promote persons of color. Don't just critique blacks.

(4) A bitter paraphilic black writer like Mr. Boyd is EQUALLY as bad as blacks who ONLY fixate exclusively on other blacks because ALL whites are suspect.

All of these postures include uncritical biases.

(5) Good black gay thinkers have partnerships with white men. Terrance is an example. But Terrance has never portrayed himself as hostile towards black men (see his comment above).

(6) Mr. Boyd's black characters are often subordinate to his white characters: e.g.: the white quarterback and the black cheerleader. Truth is: we need more black quarterbacks.

DUTCH
August 12 2006, 12:18PM

listen, i'm really happy with noah's arc, and clik, and black pride and all... i don't care who you're attracted to or what your preference is, but these guys on here that keep telling my former/future boyfriends that they need me to "validate them" or because they love me "must feel alot of self-hatred" need to be ashamed of themselves...you think your "blackness" is stronger then theirs just because you only choose to be intimate with bro's?...loosen up, please.

Mark
August 12 2006, 12:18PM

Wow, I found this site and this is a very good debate!As a loud, proud, out gay black man in a city with few black gay men who are out, its a interesting debate for me. I find most white gay guys just aren't at all interested in black men, and its not that hard to see why. All the gay things in life is geared towards them, and they only see a few token positive images of blacks. So, I say let them do what they want. They do not seem to have any problems with some other gay men of color, but, that is the way it is with society at large in the USA, anything but black. Has anyone actually read his book? I wonder if it follows the same old tired thing, white bottom, black top thing, since that is what they all seem to be into, a genralization, but, I think its true.
And, one last thing for the Clik guy, is there some place in Phoenix that one can find your magazine? I saw it once at the local store with the hawking staff, but not any more.

-T-
August 12 2006, 12:57PM

It isn't necessary for a "good black gay thinker to have a relationship with a white man." A good black gay thinker is capable of having a relationship with another black man or with whomever of any race or with no one."

A black simply "preferring" others of African descent or "preferring" to date another of African descent "exclusively" or any other but a white is not a bad thing and does not equte to being a fixation. To express little sexual interest in a white does not equate to "hate" of whites or mean whites are viewed as "suspect".

With respect to "preferences," so long as both partners, same or racially disimilar, come to one another from a foundation of mutual respect and friendship is the thing that matters.

ray in dc
August 12 2006, 1:05PM

Well, my personal view on relationships with whites is, if a time ever comes in America when racism ceases to exist, THEN it'll be time to talk about interracial relationships - but that time hasnt come yet! As long as you DO have racism in this society, then the idea of being romantically involved with "them" (at least to me) is complete nonsense! Besides, for myself I dont find white man sexually appealing in the least, so reading a book about an interracial relationship turns me off! Also, everyone knows handsome sucessful white gay men dont go after blacks in the first place - they want their own kind! The ones who go after blacks tend to be the ones who DONT fall into those categories (the same goes for straight interracial situations) - and also the sexual fantasies of whites about hypersexual blacks come into play!
Most gay literature is WHITE gay literature - its good to see BLACK tv shows and books!

Donald
August 12 2006, 1:18PM

A friend of my mother's named Ruth had a phrase she loved to use - wrong and strong. Randy, to put it simply, it seems that you want to be applauded by other Black gay men for loving only white men. Why? I hate to witness any Black-on-Black violence like the tension and hostility up in here, but I also don't understand why you can't see the role you've played in your own rejection of and subsequently by other Black gay men.

I believe that most Black men are primarily attracted to other Black men, just like most white men are attracted to other white men. The world has more attraction possibilities, true, but I've always viewed Black men who date white men exclusively as directly indicative of the fallout of slavery and all its related pathology. And white men know that shit and feed off of it.

Randy, I believe that most of us will fight for your right to love whoever you want, but, no honey, we are not going to NABWMT conventions with you. And we're not going to read your books if we can't relate.

Mark
August 12 2006, 2:54PM

Amen Ray in DC! All of these posters who think that race is no longer an issue and you should love the one you want, need a wake up call. You can love white men as much as you want, but, you will always been viewed in a different light, right or wrongly so. Race is always a issue in the US, no matter how hard many try to get beyond it. White America as a whole has issues with blacks, and black men in particular, and what makes some think that gay white men are different? The ideal is the Aryan man in the gay arena, not anything related to the African Diaspora. They come to the table with the same things they grew up with, a low image of blacks. Not all of them, but most of them feel this way. Sing Kumbaya all you want, but, its not going to change what people hold in their hearts. And, I wonder what the guys in interracial relationships white partners have to say on this issue? Or the memebers of that group?

chris-leo
August 12 2006, 3:35PM

i'm a black man, and i find black men attractive. is it organic? is it because i grew up around black people? is it about white rejection? fetish? preference? black magic? do i have mandingo fantasies about myself? I DON'T CARE. and if there's a cure for this, I DON'T WANT IT.

this discussion is lively and apparently necessary, but i'm just gonna say it; WE CAN MYTHOLOGIZE OUR SEX LIVES 'TIL THE BOMB DROPS, but at the end of the day, it's nobody's business but the people who do the bumping. this voyeuristic obsession with each other is probably part of what kept us alive as a species eons ago, but we can drop some of it now and take a breath before the jihad

and with that, i will now quote a wise, white lady.

QUOTE
"Indeed, Miss Manners has come to believe that the basic political division in this country is not between liberals and conservatives but between those who believe that they should have a say in the love lives of strangers and those who do not." -- Miss Manners (Judith Martin)

bemused
August 12 2006, 4:48PM

ok i must be missing something

dead lesbians get 5 messages of concern while interacial relationships get 74 messages. it's nice to know that everone has their priorities sorted out

me
August 12 2006, 5:35PM

This guy sucks. What kind of black writer "specializes" in writing fiction that puts black and white men together? One book, maybe. All books....quite odd. lambda awards....so what.james baldwin was a writer who wrote of many subjects. This is basically nothing but porn fantasies for those who think pink scrotum is preferable.

Lafontaye
August 12 2006, 7:17PM

EWWWWWWUH! pink scrotum!!!

*grabs pen and paper to violantly black out Randy Boyd's name from my authors to read list - in strong beautiful bold black ink!*

DDC
August 12 2006, 7:41PM

Exactly Bemused! Murdered glbt people bothers me whether its male, female, & particularly trans. Check out http://www.gender.org/remember/about/core.html for more info. Man, some ditzes just luv them some sensational drama. I guess black gay butches murdered by plain ol' fellow blacks just isn't juicy enough to acknowledge with even once sentence of bereavement.

And the thing that gets me is that out of all these 70+ messages here, 75% of them aren't even about the topic at hand, a writer being denied a platform to promote his books to people who just might be interested in reading them. This whole thing has warped into people's personal experiences, tastes, and ridiculous armchair analysis. SMH!

a.p.
August 12 2006, 7:52PM

ddc....wrong. it is in fact you that is misdirected. you are promoting your website. great. in fact, the author of these books is attempting to promote himself as an aggressive liberal. what he is, in fact, is a guy who jacks off to blonde hair and blue eyes and is attempting to make this into a career.

anthony davis
August 12 2006, 8:14PM

and I guess DDC that you are sticking to the subject matter at hand by using this forum to promote your website? If Mr. Boyd feels so strongly about this subject matter then I suggest that he find a market that supports his type of work. I mean I feel that this is plain common sense. You can't get people to support your work if your work isn't something that they're feeling. As a blackman it is my preference to read those works that support my preference for black on black love. Mr. Boyd's work don't do that so it is my preference not to read it. What is so wrong with that?

DDC
August 12 2006, 8:53PM

This is really too much. That's not my website, and I have no personal connection to it or the person who runs it. I provide the link merely because of its relevancy (and urgency). Don't take my word for it, though; as the previous comments here indicate, people are gonna believe whatever they want to anyway. But since I have linked to Wikipedia before, too, does that mean I own that domain, as well? Wow, Wiki raised tens of thousands this year in donations, I've hit the jackpot! And the ridiculous analysis continues... STILL SMH.

a.p.
August 12 2006, 9:10PM

you are an absolute bitch. You attempted to indicate that all of us are disilllusioned....that is, those of us who find you haughty and vacuous. i did not know your affiliation with this website....who cares? I do know that you have an affiliation with being stupid. This man is attempting to make a living writing books about black men being liberated by being in sex and love with white men! He's sickening. If you have a story that illuminates life....tell it. Don't be a dupe for a empty-headed marketing strategy for a gay man with nothing to say. Do you read that dl author's crap too? All of this motherfucker's books are about black men and white men fucking. Don't you find that odd? Why would you defend this trash? He's not relevant or elevating. Read the shit as i have and get a clue.

TerrenceSays
August 12 2006, 9:33PM

DDC said, "Terrence I think there's a difference between preference and hatred, but many here are interchanging the two. They're comparing hatred from "snow queens" to Randy Boyd's books(?)."

My response..Actually, preference and hatred can be intertwined depending on the individual. Too bad you don’t see the correlation. Furthermore, it has already been established by the Clik magazine publisher, who responded here, that Mr. Boyd is mistaken about his publication. Will Patrik Ian-Polk or someone from the Noah's camp come here next and say the same? Will a rep from the ATB literary salon come here next and say the same? I don’t know, but I’m just wondering if there is a pattern like it is with his books.

Ultimately, don’t rebuke and lie on black gay media in order to get brownie points and accolades from organizations and individuals in BWMT or to promote your book. And don’t expect that media outlets are automatically supposed to embrace your work.

anthony davis
August 12 2006, 10:45PM

DDC what is ridiculous and too much is that you along with Mr. Boyd just don't get it. It is really ironic that Mr. Boyd suddenly finds the need to raise this issue and at such an opportune time, when he was speaking in front of the convention of the BWMT.This is a shameless ploy on his part to promote his book and what's so shameless about it is that he does so at the expense of the black gay media. He suddenly wants to attack the black gay media for not embracing him but what attempts has he ever made to reach out to the black gay media let alone the black gay community.I have seen Mr. Boyd's work lumped together with the other black gay literature that is featured in Giovanni's Room bookstore. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt by browsing through the book and reading the jacket cover but I didn't buy any of his books because once again he strictly writes of a subject matter that just don't interest me.

jcampbell
August 13 2006, 12:18AM

It never fails, as blacks we can be as apathetic or dismally out of touch as we want to be on issues that really affect us all (ex. HIV infection), but even the barest whiff of interracial couples (which only affect the two men directly involved), and suddenly everyone finds his or her tongue.

What amazes me is how the term interracial has been defined as only involving black and white men. Interracial also involves blacks who date Asians, Hispanics, any ethnicity that is not black. In such a rigid definition, the blacks who sneer at interracial love further demonstrate how limited their thought processes are. As for the "slavery" imagery when blacks and whites get together: GET REAL! None of us really knows anything about the institution of slavery (and for that, I'm thankful), certainly not as it pertained to homosexual miscegenation.

Chicago_Angel
August 13 2006, 12:26AM

Im a black man who loves black men, latino men and white men! whoever i fall in love with no matter to me. Now if other black men want to make "self hated" assumptions then thats their business. Not every black man who dates outside his race has "self hate" issues. Yet and still I believe black people hate black/white interracial couples no matter how much they try to sugercoat it.

DDC
August 13 2006, 12:42AM

OK I'll indulge in this side debate- it is Saturday night. Honestly the joke's on many of you because you're playing directly into the hands of these "snow queens". Many of them want you gnashing your teeth and pulling your hairs out over them and their trophies, because just like with straights it's an ego-boost and feeds their sadistic streaks. Y'all's lettin' y'allselves get played, in other words. Keep on keeping on, though, if you don't mind getting manipulated & wasting your time.

And do you really think all this lecturing and reprimand is going to make any "snow queen" suddenly jump into another black man's arms with lifelong apreciation and devotion? Human nature doesn't work like that. When cultural awakening occurs, its due to a long personal journey that the person is WILLING to take. So what are you all accomplishing accept a lot of bitchin' that should be utilized for more pressing issues. The End.

Jeff Hobbs
August 13 2006, 1:46AM

WOW! What an overwhelming response! I don't see how Noah's Arc has anything to do with his book! Its ridiculous to speculate such nonsense. All I can say is two words.... SNOW QUEEN!! LOL Thats it!!

Claude Wynne
August 13 2006, 1:53AM

So I guess the next time I see some hot straight man I should tell him that his exclusive attraction to women is a sign of male self-hatred and that he should stop fetishizing on pussy so much. Think that’ll work? As a fat man, what about those of you who fetishize thinness and muscles? If you don’t want to sleep with me does that mean you hate me and all fat people? Can I try using guilt to get some of you into bed?

No one has the right to sleep with anyone else. Not wanting to sleep with someone doesn’t mean you hate them it just means you’re not attracted to them. Being attracted to people who are different than yourself does not mean you hate yourself. Sometimes opposites attract.

Some of the attitudes expressed here are truly freighting. Randy I love you and am sorry that you had to be exposed to some of the hateful comments on this page. If one good thing has come from this it’s that some of us who were unfamiliar with your work before have now been made aware of it.

clay
August 13 2006, 2:38AM

ive never heard of this author so i cant really comment much on him and how he feels like he has been rejected by sectors of the black community. However, on the issue of interracial relationships. i agree w/ what someone else said on here - we cant keep pointing the figure at people how are discriminatory toward us when we are doing the same thing. ive heard black men say,"white men are stealing all of our men!" And I'm like, ummmmmmmm - what about all the black women that feel like we are "stealing" their men? Black women are not entitled to every black man simply because he is black and black gay men are not entitled to every black men simply because he is black. You cant say it's wrong to hate on someone because they are in a gay relationship, but it is okay to hate on someone because they are in an interracial relationship ... especially considering at this point in American history gay people are much more threatening than interracial relationships.

-T-
August 13 2006, 4:10AM

Please, lets not make Boyd's mistake of over generalizing. Boyd's comments were inappropriate and just as "hateful" and disturbingly "frieghtful" as "some" comments on this page.

Not "every" comment here is being discriminatory against inter-racial dating. Nor, is every comment suggesting that only black gay men are entitled to other black gay men.

Boyd has a right to date whomever he wants according to his personal tastes. "If" he wants only white men, so be it. I hope he finds happiness with one. But, Boyd had no right to blanket the entire black gay community with his words.

tony
August 13 2006, 8:53AM

it is wonderful that all the comments made by you brothas have been valid and frank. none of you have been petty or bitchy but sheer honesty. please keep the moral high ground going on whatever discussion we have on Keith's site. i'll continue to read my black on black love books i buy from the black gay prides' market place and no one owes this ranting self hater any apologies FULL STOP

jcampbell
August 13 2006, 9:00AM

SO WHERE ARE THESE PROUD AND ELIGIBLE BLACK GAY MEN? A scan of the black men who flood Internet dating sites are predominantly "not out" or declare themselves "bi" (which to me means bye-bye!) and have only headless photos or those showing the pink lining of their buttholes. Or they write in an incoherent Ebonics/rap style that I hope is only affected. It's not an encouraging prospect.

Everybody references these mythic black/black gay male couples. Where are they? I only began dealing with other races because, for the most part, they seemed to be comfortable with their homosexuality, whereas most black men I've encountered are not.

Charles
August 13 2006, 12:01PM

Boyd may be incorrect to point the finger at Noah’s Arc and other media sources and I will not assume to guess their interactions in the past because I was not there.

I will speak more about the archaic and slave-like rules that are within the Black community (churches and in the neighborhoods). As I read these posts I am not surprised by the violence against Black gays, look at the venom here against your own kind. Oh wait those who date and love outside of their race are traitors and are not worthy of protection, respect and honor.

There are so many rules in the Black community and near the top is “do not date outside of your race”. If a black straight man is getting down with a white woman, then that’s cool if he marries her then he is an Uncle Tom. If a black gay man gets down with a white man it’s cool, but watch out if he dates a white man, then he is filled of self-hatred and does not find black men attractive. So much fear, judgment and pettiness, it sheds a bright light onto so many things.

anthony davis
August 13 2006, 12:21PM

I really don't think that this forum was ever about interracial relationships but it was supposed to be about Mr. Boyd's comments that he feels neglected by the same black gay press that he has never made overtures to himself.It has always been my contention that people are free to be with whoever they want but what bothers me is that those of us who prefer to be with members of our own race are criticized because we don't support work that affirms the type of relationships that we want.As for Claude Wynne your comments are totally baseless and have absolutely no validity.One has absolutely nothing to do with the other so for you to even bring up such a ridiculous analogy is totally absurd.The self hatred part that many of these brothers speak of is when a black person chooses to exclusively date white and thus avoids social interaction with other blacks on any level.Now I don't know if that's Mr. Boyd's case or not but if it is then there is some degree of self hatred there.

TerrenceSays
August 13 2006, 1:21PM

Claude, a "hot STRAIGHT man" should be exclusively attracted to women. He's heterosexual. His NATURE is women. With that example you are really comparing apples to oranges.

In regards to thin and muscle types not being attracted to thick/plus sized men – those are personal preferences. I am not against preferences – in fact, I have my own. Yet, if you want real love, which SO MANY gays – especially men - complain about not having – you potentially block your blessing(s), I think, when you are too rigid with (exclusive) preferences.

I know two guys – one muscular, the other overweight. Living in two cities, they connected spiritually through late night/early morning phone conversations. After talking on the phone for months, they eventually met on a blind date. The muscular guy admitted he dropped all of his preferences and did not care how the other brotha looked. As a result, they have been together for nearly a decade–AND YES–they are brothas.

South Africa-Nhlanhla
August 13 2006, 2:33PM

I come to check news about black america (which means you) on this site often. It's not bad at all. As an outsider (S. African), I must say the interracial issue isn't only American based.

Otherwise I do think that some have confussed 2 issues. The right to complain about mistreatment from the media or whoever, which should be granted to everyone (however evil we've prejudged them)! The other is about the right to mistreatment, as many it seems assume Randy deserves based on a number of seemingly far-fetched assumptions made. I suggest that that may have to do more with projections of self issues or rages or whatever, and there may be a likelihood they have little or nothing to do with Randy.

Well since we don't know all facts, I think it's more humane to respond at a level of respect & LOVE, which means kindness, assuming the best virtues/intentions where we don't know. It's best for black people globally to have tolerance, especially for strangers, because that's what we need most ourselves

a.p.
August 13 2006, 2:44PM

o.k. this will be my last comment on this man and his trite works. The man "specializes" in writing books, if you will, that display the heavenly wonders of black men and white men in love and sex or whatever. He has no affiliations with black gay groups and in no way has even attempted to establish his presence in the black gay community. For those unfamiliar with black and white men together, (I am a San francisco native), it has largely existed so that white men can find black men to sleep with. Period. He then goes in front of these people and blasts some of the most visible celebrations of black on black gay love we have. He can sleep with whomever has the stomach for him but don't defend this man. He's wrong.

Dwight Powell / Clik
August 13 2006, 3:32PM

Wow, this debate sure has taken a few turns and become rather ugly. While I don’t agree with Randy’s approach to dealing with this issue of interracial relationships, we must be tolerant of the choices people make with respect to who they love. We are moving a bit backwards when we insist or suggest that folks stay within their race. I can’t believe that that’s where we’re at with this debate.

At any rate, at the end of the day, I hope that Randy Boyd, now a house-hold name in our (Black) community sends Keith Boykin a check – I buy ad space on this site, and over the past few days, he’s gotten ten times the exposure for FREE. Well, I have another idea, maybe he should buy blogad space on this site, rod 2.0, or jasmmyncannick.com to name a few and I’m sure he’ll have no problems reaching the Black Gay Market – if there’s really a genuine interest in reaching that community – many of the other BLACK authors are currently doing just that.

Charles
August 13 2006, 4:19PM

Don't worry Dwight/Clik. I subscribe to Clik Magazine. I won't be buying Mr Boyd's book.

cward
August 13 2006, 4:24PM

This is directed at Jeff Hobbs. http://www.myspace.com/jackebrown

You have no right to address Randy as a SNOW QUEEN. You reduce black men to nothing but an object. You think because you listen to Janet, Beyonce or watch Noah’s Arc you have a respect, scope and/or appreciation of the black community.

I live in Seattle also and the number of times (weekly sometimes daily) that you place ads on Craigslist looking for a black men are staggering.

[Comment Truncated By Moderator.]

Shaun A. Brown
August 13 2006, 4:24PM

The issue here is, Randy Boyd is troubled with the fact that the SGL community is not embracing his literary works. To many, they consider him to be a one noted author who isn't diverse with his story telling ability. Not everyone is going to be a fan of an author's view or writing style. Instead of lashing out about the lack of support, he should investigate as to why his work is not being embraced by a certain group of people or try to make concessions to make the next book better than the last.

As far as the interracial issue is concerned, yes it is a controversial issue, but most brothas out there go out with people that looked as if they just picked the first white person that they saw and dated them without going by that famous quote by Judge Mablean Ephriam "Look deep, before you leap". I believe in being open with my eyes, mind, and heart but my theory is that is okay to have preferences but don't take it to a level where you would miss out on something good.

Troy
August 13 2006, 4:35PM

Keith Boykin himself wrote an excellent article on what it actually takes to write a book and how even then it is still being edited, scrutinized and made better by it's very own author, the writer himself.
Why was there no editors mentioned on Boyd's book?
Why no info. on the publisher and just where did they send this book out to and where was it marketed? There's not one thing racial about this only the fact that the writer left his baby out on in the cold without the vital and necessary before, during and after care SO badly needed to any worthwhile product. Mr. Boyd what is your solution to this besides the much ado about nothing 15 minutes of fame?

Claude Wynne
August 13 2006, 4:55PM

Actually the analogies I made are relevant. Maybe some of you have consciously made the choice to turn down someone for love or sex simply because of the color of their skin. I have never done that.

My earliest “gay” memories are of pre-pubescent dreams of strong friendship with other boys which became more overtly sexual as I got older. All the boys were white and the interracial aspect of the friendship was an integral part of the dreams. My racial “preferences” (I think it’s a little deeper than that) - which are not exclusive - are almost as ingrained as my sexual orientation. Now, did the fact that I was getting beat up in school by black kids and most of my friends were white effect that on an unconscious level. Sure. But there’s nothing I can do about that.

Whatever the “causes” of my sexual orientation and racial “preferences”, I am happy the way I am. I don’t normally try to explain or justify either but sometimes it is necessary to step back from the overheated rhetoric and be real.

Claude Wynne
August 13 2006, 5:28PM

I do not agree with Randy about Noah’s Arc or Clik Magazine (based on what little I know) but I understand the pain behind the words. If you’ve had the “self-hatred” crap thrown in your face all you life you can get a little defensive sometimes and rush to judgment before all the facts are known.

I am a fan of both Queer as Folk and Noach’s Arc. I was critical of QAF’s lack of black representation and said so on Showtime’s message boards. Still, I thought the best response was for a talented black writer to go out and create something of their own – and Patrik Ian-Polk did just that and I applaud him for it. I have seen nothing in Noah’s Arc that is hostile to interracial dating. If we can have a fictional Pittsburg with very few black people than we can have a fictional LA without white people. Even this “snow queen” doesn’t miss them with all of the eye candy on that show.

I also think Randy needs to get back in touch with Dwight at Clik Magazine and lose the chip on his shoulder when he does.

tony
August 13 2006, 5:49PM

any black gay man who has the nerve to attack OUR institutions like CLIK, NOAH'S ARK and ATB does not deserve OUR attention. he should sell his books to the people to the people he prefers to be around. much much black love.

Claude Wynne
August 13 2006, 5:58PM

Sorry tony but we have every right to criticize “our” institutions if they deserve it. I just don’t think they do in this case based on the information at hand. Noach’s Arc has been savaged on this site because of it’s “stereotypical” portrayal of effeminate black men. It’s great to see all the love towards it now. Thanks Randy! I don’t agree with that criticism but I would never say that the people who made it had no right to criticize “our” institutions.

tony
August 13 2006, 6:23PM

very true Claude Wynne. i stand corrected my brotha. we should criticize "our" institutions if it's deserved. my point is that for too long we have complained about being left out and then along come brothas who decide to stop moaning and actually make a difference, then he comes along and shoots his mouth strictly for selfish reasons. Dwight Powell has tried to get in touch with him and he has refused unless CLIK does what he demands. PLEASE! read between the lines.

Claude Wynne
August 13 2006, 6:58PM

That is why I made a point of criticizing Randy on that point, even though we are on the same “side” in this debate.

I happen to believe we should support each other, but that goes both ways. I think people who won’t read or watch a work of art because the love interest of a black character is white are as closed minded and shallow as straight men who refused to see Brokeback Mountain. The only thing I chose solely based on whether it turns me on is porn. I watch movies and shows about straights, gays, lesbians, transgendered men and women, blacks, whites, Asians, Latinos, etc. A good story is a good story. I make a special effort to support works by black LGBT people, regardless of whether if it’s a story that reflects my life or not.

-T-
August 13 2006, 7:07PM

I am appreciative for a show like NOAH'S ARC. Images of black gay men in cinema, gay and straight, has been white men coupled with black men. The best example is SIX FEET UNDER, an excellent programe I loved. Though enamoured with SIX FEET UNDER, I longed to see two black males coupled in film. NOAH'S ARC is a wish come true for me. CLIK is a wish come true because it focuses on me and my cares and concerns and celebrates my, our diverse, beauty and tastes. (And ClIK has feature images of black and white men coupled).

I will gladly defend Mr. Boyd's right to criticize, but that criticism should be put into the context of a historical perspective of black gay images in the media.

There is room for diverse emotional and sexual preferences with in the black gay community. Alledged "snow queens" have a right to their inclinations as those black men who prefer black exclusively or anything but white. No one is cutting off their blessings.

-T-
August 13 2006, 7:39PM

More, it isn't being closed minded or shallow to be drawn to one type of literature or film over another. It is a simple matter of taste and opinion. As unfair as it is to be condescending and prejudiced to those who choose to enter into inter-racial relationships and accuse them of "self-hate" or accuse those who prefer intra-racial relationships exclusievely or primarily of "hating", it is an injustice to accuse another of being shallow or closed minded because of their like or dislike of a book, film, or television program that doesn't suit their personal tastes.

It is possible for us as black men to support one another regardless of our various disimilarities. So long as one is not out to verbally bash and look down on another, we should always share in a spirit of brotherhood, friendship, and cooperation.

Zeus
August 13 2006, 10:59PM

It seems Mr. Boyd needs a scapegoat in order to rationalize his failure as an author. We as black gay men are consumers like everyone else and only buy what interests us. I wonder why he thinks we should blindly support his fascination with interracial relationships? The fact that he doesn't take issue with the lack of support amongst white gays is alarming. So you have a problem with us not purchasing and supporting your work but not with them? It absolutely makes no sense.

The demonization of Clik Magazine and Noah's Ark is unfair. When QAF( a show I loved) did not feature one black main character or the more popular gay publications stated black men don't sell magazines where was his outrage? I call that a double standard.

ka-os
August 14 2006, 12:29AM

Could one the individuals screaming "snow queen" et cetera, and act as judge and jury on who should be allowed to date/sleep with who, please let me know if any of the following combinations are allowed:

1) Black + Asian
2) Black + Latino
3) Black + mixed race
4) Mixed race + Asian (or Latino)
5) Mixed race + mixed race

Also, if someone is, say, three quarters white/one quarter black, are they black enough to date someone 'truly' black? I look forward to permission being granted on any or all of the above combinations (or any other permutations)...

rpcjr
August 14 2006, 1:29AM

inter-racial dating isn't the focus here, his perceived dis by the gay black community towards his books are. i'd never heard of his books before this (and i certainly won't be buying them now), but why would you lambast the gay black community for not supporting your work, just because you're a black author? why stop at the gay black community and not include whites, asians, hispanics, etc.? why not just thank the BWMT audience for being there for you? from what i've pieced together, all his books are the same (Tom Clancy anyone?) and so someone who wasn't into the first probably wouldn't be into the fourth.

LaFontaye
August 14 2006, 3:22AM

Oh please; clearly, Miss Boyd's head is snowed-in far too deep up whitey's ass for that queen to ever be able to absorb the absurdity behind his pathetic and asinine grievances. If he'd come up for air from Massa's hind-quarters for just one second even, he'd find that the fresh air does wonders for the betterment of one's senses.

Claude Wynne
August 14 2006, 6:08AM

LaFontaye - those comments were uncalled for and frankly racist. Totally and completely unacceptable.

titi
August 14 2006, 6:19AM

SORRY RANDY SOME OF US ARE TO BUSY CELEBRATING OURSELF AS PEOPLE TO WANNA GO BACK TO THE PLANTATION BIG HOUSE WITH YOU....HOW CAN SOMEONE PROMOTE THE FINE ART OF SELF-SABOTAGE WITH SUCH AN INCREDIBLE LEVEL OF INCONSCIENCE ??? THIS IS WHY WE HAVE BEEN STUCK AT THE BOTTOM FOR CENTURY... (WHINED ABOUT WHITE RASCISM AND NEVER TAKE CHARGE.)

tony
August 14 2006, 9:01AM

Claude Wynne, you really need to stop this ridiculousness. what makes you think that you are right all the time. you mascarade as a sensible and articulate person but you are soooo brain washed, obviously from exclusively dating and obsessing over white men. actions speak louder than words, so you go and buy what's his name's books and then distribute them to your kind of people ie black men who worship white men, and your white friends. who the hell do you think you are coming on this site and PREACHING to us. we are happy of who we are. apparently you think you are better than us because you grew up around white people, well you are NOT. i totally grew up around them as well and i still know who i am. i'll tell you this again, READ between the lines. you haven't at all listened to what any one has said so far.

deejay
August 14 2006, 9:22AM

I know this perspective is shallow and superficial, but I can't help it...

WHAT GRAPHIC "ARTEEEST" DESIGNED THAT BOOK COVER??!

It screams waste of time, low-budget lit (just like all that 'hood lit with their God awful covers!) Frankly, if I was a gay man, I wouldn't be caught dead reading this, ESPECIALLY in public!

I suppose one CAN judge a book by its cover * eye roll*

Claude Wynne
August 14 2006, 11:30AM

I have fought against bigotry all my life and I am not going to stop now. I thought that is what this site was all about but apparently I was mistaken. Denigrating a large segment of the black gay community because of who they sleep with is wrong. Talking about a whole race of people - including white people - as if they were of one mind is also wrong. I will always speak up against ignorance and prejudice no matter who is perpetrating it. It is attitudes such as those expressed in SOME of the messages here that Randy was reacting to. I may not agree with him on everything but on his basic premise that there are people who view love between a black man and a white man as worth less, I submit this page as exhibit A.

bbla
August 14 2006, 11:52AM

One thing (out of many) that bothers me about BWMT is that it claims to be about eradicating racism within the gay community, but the organization itself (at least the one in LA) still only promotes Black and White couplings as those that can confront racism. This org barely does ANYTHING to truly address racism. On one of the officers' blogs, he mentions that they considered changing the name to Men of All Colors Together and opening up the focus of the group, but when they did that years ago some of the "long-term" members got upset. I guess only WM/BM couples can speak about racism in the gay community, and I guess the sexual competition from throwing Latinos and Asians in the mix was too much for some people. That exposes what this organization is really about: a hook-up club for WM seeking BM and vice versa. If it's a fetish club, fine. At least own up to it and stop trying to gain sympathy by claiming you're addressing racism.

jared
August 14 2006, 12:15PM

The group, one I've never heard of is about I assume, black and white men and was originally set up when there were few Asians in the country and most Hispanic men were not "out" so to speak or visible. As for the mix of Asians and Hispanics, I don't see why they wouldn't be in the mix. I don't ever seem to recall ever seeing an Asian with another Asian guy, black guy, or even Hispanic for that matter, always with white guys, so, I wouldn't think they would be interested anyway. And, I have to agree with the poster who said it isn't fair to lump all white guys in the same group, good point, but, in the real world of gay life, the majority of white gay men do not find black men attractive, and the few that do seem to thrive on a fetish or certain stereotypes as society as a whole does, that is a fact, not all, but most. Mr Boyd has a right to write what he knows best, but, to think that most black men are going to be into it like he is, is a leap of faith. And, who knows, his book might be a great read, but,

titi
August 14 2006, 12:34PM

PLEASE RANDY DON'T BULLY US BECAUSE WE REFUSED TO PAY THE BILLS OF YOUR WHITE DUDES MAINTENANCE...YOU MAY NOT KNOW THIS BUT BLACK INSTITUTIONS ARE SACRET....OUR SURVIVOR DEPEND ON THEM...THEY ARE THE ONLY MEDICATIONS AGAINST THE PSYKOLOGICAL WARFARE WE SUFFERED....SO DON'T TOUCH IT OR ELSE.

Dennis Hunter
August 14 2006, 12:57PM

It's always fascinating to revisit this isolated "bucket full of crabs" world aka Keithboykin.com. Years ago I participated in this website, but was slammed for being latino and anglo, having grown up in a predominantly black neighborhood. Boykin never changes; no attempt at diversity in a diverse world. If someone like Boyd expresses his opinion and it's not in Boykin's narrow-minded new-found "afrocentrism", he is persecuted. Boykin reveals little of himself (he wasn't always this "exclusive" to being black), and the persona he has created is far from reality. Boykin offers no solutions, just perpetuating negativity and pointing out "what's wrong" with other people not like him. That gets tired and stale. Knowledge is power Mr. Boykin, and yet you choose to perpetuate divisiveness and isolation within your own community. That, and an obsession with pseudo-celebrity and self-promotion. Same s**t, different day for Mr. Boykin.

jared
August 14 2006, 1:18PM

and, oddly enough, Mr. Hunter, you offer none as well. And, since I would bet, you identfy with your "white" side, you would bring little to the table to begin with, other than the fact that since you "lived" in some "hood" you have some sort of special insight, it doesn't work that way, as I gre up and live in an all white one. See, we all have a way of seeing it like it really is.

tony
August 14 2006, 1:38PM

Dennis Hunter, if that's how you feel about Keith, what in goodness's name are you doing here. obviously you shallow like-minded people, who can not bare black unity are taking this opportunity to attack our PRIDE. it WON'T work, so move on. you people are so used to seeing images that you think are normal ie white, all the time that if some white people are not in the picture, you think it's a conspiracy or an attack against your ideals. we are trying to do our own thing finally, if you don't mind, where everyone is invited as long as you don't tell us how to live our black lives. Keith is one of the finest and we love him and people like you won't deter us. give us our space for crying out loud, you people have 98% of the space anyway so why interfer with our 2%. black men chosing white men exclusively don't bother me but i'm not buying "his" books because they are not my cup of tea. in fact, i don't even want to see them on a BLACK book shelf.

Dennis Hunter
August 14 2006, 2:05PM

Solutions? Not my blog, Jared. My solution for me was to step out after pointing out to Boykin his attempts at providing mis-information and his refusal to redact it. Identify with my white side? Why not? That's my dad's side of the family. But you're jumping to conclusions about who I "identify" with. FYI, I'm more comfortable with my latino side, but you didn't ask. Am I supposed to "sound white"? Wrong again. I put myself through college and was a minor in English Literature because I love to read and English was a second language. Maybe I "type white"? Bottom line, Boykin loves people who perpetuate divisive subjects because it keeps this website going, which in turns helps Boykin sell advertising & get donations from you. A few years ago, those of us who didn't live in the "Boykin Bucket" I refer to dropped off of this site. Boykin insists it's for everyone, but it is not. It's negativity without end - and if you want to live on Boykin's isolated island, he'll even ask you to pay for his blog.

raskl
August 14 2006, 2:51PM

@Dennis Hunter

Why did you come back here? If your so dissapointed with this web site go find a "latino and anglo" site or Latino since your more comfortable with that side. You can go there and defend your "white typing" whatever the hell that means. To get on here and throw out insults is just not good now go take a Valium.

Cornelius
August 14 2006, 3:01PM

Passions are high. Rhetoric is abundant and opinions are sharply divided. I was overhwelmed with the energy put into the posted comments concerning Mr. Boyd. However, why was Mr. Boyd invited to address the convention and who was responsible for this decision? What was the purpose of this presentation and was anyone aware that his comments would bring such inflamed chatter.I personally find the piling on affect and the slash/burn attacks on all levels are very distrubing. I've shared my life with a White man for the last 14 years, after my Black partner died and we've seen our fair share of obstacles, from all segements of society. I didn't choose him because of his ethnic make up, but rather the old-fashion courting approach he took with me. Count me lucky or perhaps an individual who decided to accept the man for who he was, not the color of his skin. Hopefully, we are not unique but rather human beings finding love in a world that often seems maddening.

Fogel2006
August 14 2006, 3:45PM

It seems that a few nerves were struck here. Let me make the following points:

(1) @ Mr. Hunter. I suppose your anger at Keith has to do with creating a forum where blackl SGL men can comment on and discuss their realities, thereby undoing your supposed entree into their lives (being that you grew up in a "black neighborhood," whatever that means and whatever you think that entitles you to). You are not upset about negativity, but at the positivity. Notice how those like Mr. Hunter want to couch black folks in the negative (which, naturally, means that good "Anglos" like himself are positive). Positive images and words by black SGL men for SGL men always disturb those who need us to need them.

Chris Evans
August 14 2006, 3:53PM

It sickens me that if someone dates a white man for whatever reason, that they would be slapped with the label of "self-hater". When I look at a person and determine if they're attractive, race does not enter the equation.

Because I grew up in a community where there were mostly white people, if you lined up 10 attractive white guys and 10 attractive black guys, I'd probably find a few more of the white guys than the black guys--but that has nothing to do with the fact that they are black. Simply because it's the taste I have subconsciously acquired because of my background. Does that mean I "hate" myself or black men in any way? No.

I'm open to dating any person of any race--as long as I'm attracted to them--and I don't understand why so much emphasis is placed on the race of the person you date.

yeahisaidit
August 14 2006, 4:07PM

...i mean, i am sensitive to all, for i would like to be considered with the same sensitivity by others...i feel, reguardless of the semantics, everythings starts from there...empathy anyone...i keep reading in some comments that white gay men don't find black gay mean attractive...but what if many white gay men assume that black gay men won't find them attractive because they aren't black? it seems to me many black men have a hard time understanding gay white men's attraction to white men as anything else but unfair exclusion, while at the same maintaining a preference for black men only themselves, even as the same white gay men then perceive the black gay men of being guilty of the same discrimination they've been accused of...meanwhile, both groups may then go on to interpret participants in interracial relationships as betrayers of each side...is it any wonder we seem to have a first rate mess on our hands here? it calls on all of us to try and look deeper into ourselves as life perpetually does...

Derrick from Philly
August 14 2006, 4:14PM

Cornelius:

I think anyone (black or white or whatever) with any sense in their head can't help but respect you and your partner. Yours is the kind of "interracial" relationship where the sincerity and strength probably shows through to anyone y'all come in contact with...any "thinking" one. Please understand that 90% of the people who come to Keith's blog respect sincere folks like you.

Fogel2006
August 14 2006, 4:16PM

(2) I would like to point out a distinction that the earlier posts have made implicitly, because it may help us. I think people need to date/hook-up/love who they want. What people seem to have a problem with are intentions. Why are you dating who you are dating? I have a problem with black men who want to date "DL/thug" men because they see those men as "real men." Your intentions tell me that you have bought into an image of masculinity that is old, tired, and full of homophobia.

Similarly, I do not care if you date white men, but if you date them because you do not like black men (or think white men are better/better looking/more comfortable with their sexuality/more educated than black men, etc.) you have bought into some racial stereotypes that trouble me. If you date him cause you like him and you get along there isn't a problem in my mind.

cmoney
August 14 2006, 4:40PM

With all these responses to the subject of Black and White men involved in a sexual or romantic relationship, you would think it would be a good topic for a book or something! It certainly gets people talking, but I think the execution and the marketing must be delicately handled (as it apparently was not in this case). Interracial affairs always risk pouring salt into not so old wounds in this country. Our posts make clear that the wounds are still open on both sides.

Fogel2006
August 14 2006, 4:47PM

(3) Mr. Boyd is mad that black men and the black gay media do not pay attention to his books. As his books contain black characters this is a valid point. But his comments go further, and he attacks those images as if they are somehow hostile to him. Nothing could be further from the truth. Mr. Boyd of only a victim of his own making, and he is upset that his stories are not embraced while at the same time not embracing the stories of others. Long story short-- Boyd is a sad man who can't seem to fathom the fact that not every black man wants to be attached to a white man (no matter what the intent). And he views attempts to create and present images of black/black love as hostile to the world he imagines himself to be in. If he wants to live in a fantasy world, fine-- but I am not buying any tickets on that train.

houfootball
August 14 2006, 4:49PM

Keith, keep doing what you are doing and you have plenty brothaz who have your back! We don’t need validation from others to justify anything so do and/or say. It’s strange to