The White Down Low
By Keith Boykin, in sexuality
Tuesday, May 23 2006, 9:09AM
Jim McGreevey has a new book and a new attitude. And now the former New Jersey Governor has agreed to appear on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" in the fall. The appearance will be scheduled around the same time as the expected release of McGreevey's book about his struggles as a closeted gay man and his emergence as the nation's first openly gay governor.
You may recall that McGreevey shocked the nation when he came out and declared himself "a gay American" in August 2004, announcing his intent to resign at the same time he disclosed a gay affair. But no one said at the time what needed to be said. Jim McGreevey was on the down low. He was a married man living with his wife but secretly cheating on her with another man. That was the classic definition of the down low, except for one thing -- McGreevey is white.
I've said before that we employ racial double standards when we talk about homosexuality, bisexuality and the down low. When white men do it, we just call it what it is and move on. When black men do it, however, then we have to pathologize it, analyze it, and find out what's wrong with the black man, the black family or the black community. White men, on the other hand, are not assigned the burden of representing their entire race because of a few examples. Therein lies the double standard.
When Brokeback Mountain came out last year, theatergoers rushed to see a story of two white men involved in a long-term down low relationship. But nobody ever called it that either. Instead they said it was simply a love story. Sure, it was a love story in the same way that Prince Charles's notorious relationship with his alleged mistress Camilla Parker Bowles was a love story. Brokeback was a story of two men who blatantly cheated on their wives so they could be together. The film humanized the men and told of the pain that led them to their deception. But similarly situated black men are rarely so humanized. Instead they are depicted unsympathetically as purveyors of disease and deception.
I am very pleased that Oprah will be interviewing Jim McGreevey. I have a list of questions I could give her to ask, but the most important point I hope she gets across is to tell America that Jim McGreevey was on the down low. She should say that not to give any extra validity to the widely overused term "down low" but instead to break down the racial distinctions employed in the selective use of that phrase.
Oprah has a lot of power to help change perceptions of homosexuality and bisexuality in America, but I'm also hopeful that she will use her power to help change misperceptions of black gay men as well. It's time for America to wake up and understand that the down low -- whether we call it "the closet," the "DL" or something else -- is not just a black thing. And it's time for all of us to understand that there are black gay and bisexual men who are comfortable with their identity, not lying to their partners and not on the down low. That's the next Oprah episode I would love to see after the McGreevey show.
Comments conceal
jcampbell
May 23 2006, 9:42AM
I learned of McGreevey's planned appearance on "Oprah" about a week ago on another message board, muscleservice.com (a predominantly white venue). When I observed that I did not see the difference between McGreevey's brand of homosexuality and that of the down-low of black men, nobody responded. Nobody could tell me why McGreevey's white down-low garners him so much acceptance, understanding, and encouragement; while black homosexual men who succumb to societal expectations to appear hetero are so villified. All I read were comments on how handsome McGreevey is, that he has ***sucker lips, etc. It's as if McGreevey's lies and deceptions have been absolved. He's supposedly doing a service for the gay community. By appearing on "Oprah" McGreevey is only servicing himself in publicizing his book.
Bernie
May 23 2006, 10:13AM
Is Oprah gonna treat him the way she treated Terry McMillan's ex, Jonathan Plummer?
Bucknips
May 23 2006, 12:28PM
Isn't "Down Low" a term created by blacks to describe those type of relationships? I have always hated the term but we perpetuated it and now that the mainstream has picked up on it we're freaking out.
Marta Donayre
May 23 2006, 2:30PM
I just wanted to say that I am with you 100%!! At the time McGreevey came out I was outraged that he was deemed as a brave man, and the fact that he was on the "down low" was never mentioned. I was indignant that he was portrayed as a hero... Just ask my wife about how I used to yell at the TV... So I hear you, and loudly. As a non-African-American, I remind people around me that the term is indeed only used in a derrogatory way towards African-American men. I surely hope you can get Oprah to call it as it is with him.... as you can tell, I am still miffed at how the whole McGreevey thing played out.
On the issue of Brokeback Mountain, I am not so sure. The film takes place in a long gone time when coming out was definitely NOT ok. The term did not exist then, and as far as I am concerned it was the thing to do, regardless of who you were. Had it been set today instead of back in the day, I would agree with you on this one. But I definitely get what you are saying and I am down with that.
Donald![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.keithboykin.com/blog2/nav-commenters.gif)
May 23 2006, 2:43PM
So, does that mean that Oprah can only feature gay people when she needs a story about either pathology, HIV/AIDS or beautifying something - or some combination thereof? As much as I respect her, I'm sick of seeing her focus on that crap and playing into the same old tired stereotypes. She really should know and do better.
chris-leo
May 23 2006, 3:23PM
so, what's the remedy here, exactly??
are we angry at oprah for perpetuating the black D.L. pathology or for NOT painting white people with the same brush?? are we mad at mcgreevey for cheating and divorcing his wife or because he's NOT being villified? is oprah supposed to drag him on stage and make him admit to his gay affair in hip hop terminology?? why?? and for that matter, why weren't we mad at oprah for hyping Bridges Of Madison County 11 years ago, or for fawning over olivier martinez and diane lane when Unfaithful came out?? isn't cheating, cheating??
giving mcgreevey the jonathan plummer treatment won't change the atmosphere of gay shame and taunting we put up with daily on wendy williams (how you doin'?) or change the romanticism black folk have with our own underdevelopment (thug, nigga, hood, d.l.). maybe we can urge oprah and everyone to start giving people like jonathan plummer the mcgreevey treatment instead.
Dude
May 23 2006, 3:29PM
jcampbell....... my word my word my word!!! I have been saying that about McGreevey since the day I saw him in the news... My sister calls him "King James" after the King James of England who was gay...LOL.. And yes plenty of white men on the DL but You never hear anything about it I think because alsso the fact that HIV is not in the rise in the white community.. Though they are on the DL especialy in the midwest!!
alicia
May 23 2006, 5:59PM
another white gay public figure...with more courage than his black peers
best wishes to the forcibly uplifted/formerly dl wm
peace
ab
DDC
May 26 2006, 2:15PM
I wouldn't say he has courage. The only reason he came out was because an ex was going to do it to him anyway. He didn't take it upon himself for his own well-being, to come clean to his wife, or to inspire other gay people. He was just caught and wanted to handle it as well as possible. If the truth wasn't about to come out I'm sure he would've kept living on the DL. Plus he resigned from office as soon as he came out; if he had any courage he would've fought to keep his job (like Clinton did) depsite the criticsm and hate he would've no doubt received. If he has anything, it's gall to be pimping his story.
AJ
June 1 2006, 4:06PM
'Dude', being English i am most offended that you would consider a member of British royal aristocracy as gay!Even more so as the accused was James,a previous king of this once great nation!.........Naaaaa,just kidding!It was common 'knowledge' in mainland Europe that England was full of homosexual men!The gay capital of Europe a few centuries ago.
Anyway,more to the point,its understandable that many white people deamonise black men,also black gay men in America as the powers that be in the U.S. media seem to focus so hard on the negative aspects of Afican American culture,which,ironically,the mojority of are just as common in the white community.This on the otherhand should not be adopted as an excuse for the current downfall of black America.If you tell someone they're stupid,often enough,eventually they'll believe you.Its human nature.White people,along with black people and every other race of man are,of course human.Tell them black people are bad,often enough,they'll believe it..........con't
AJ
June 1 2006, 4:19PM
This hatred for eachother is stirred up and prelonged by the media.Here in England there is uproar about the recent influx of Asylum seekers and immigrants.The media has convinced people that they all come to Britain to live off state benefits and get a free ride.What they haven't told us is that these 'freeloaders' are contributing over £4 billion each year,and increasing year on year.People new to this country are not entitled to the pitiful £44 a week state benefits on arrival.The majority come here to work and over 60% are skilled workers!But they are deamonised by the media,simply cause the powers that be that control what we watch and read are racist.I try to remember that there are many good people out there.They are just sadly misguided and we need to wake them up and educate them with the truth.But calling ourselves (African Americans),'niggas' etc is jus falling into these powerful white men's traps and doesn't help the image of black America.(p.s.i know ALL black people dont call eachother 'niggas')
Jamie
June 26 2006, 5:58PM
The first time I heard of men being married and sleeping with other men was on Oprah...and they were all white men. I don't know what you guys are watching, but each and every time DL men are discussed white men are always included. I've even seen their wives in the audience who are sometimes called on to speak. Same with the shows on pedophiles. Why aren't you guys harping on Montel Williams for more air time?
Pierre
June 29 2006, 10:22PM
Sadly black men fear Homosexuality far more than white
men, because their sexuality is really all most of them have. Poverty and racism breeds anger along with their
homophobia.Take away their macho black manhood and all
you have left is a angry black man facing his gay denial. Sadly white racist America still has the power
by way of the Media to demonize groups of people and
blacks are their prime target. When a white man is judged
he is judged by his actions not his race, but when a
black man is judged! he is judged by every other black
person across the board. There is a double standard!
one for blacks and one for whites. When your born black
you already created a violent act in "White Racist America.
Suz
August 25 2006, 12:39AM
I just heard on Nightline that the leading cause of death amongst black women 23-40 is AIDS. And it's been that for ELEVEN years?? I would think that has a little something to do with the horrible stigma of DL.
I've heard rumors that my ex-husband is closeted. It would explain a lot. I don't know if it's true or not, and it's his business now. I'm an open-minded person - but I don't like deceit and there is NO reason for it. I know some men who do not clasify themselves as gay but have sex with other men "once in a while". Like I said, I'm OK with that. Just tell me the truth before we waist another few years married! Now that just "aint right"
Rodney Smith
September 20 2006, 7:16PM
The Down Low is not a black phenomenon. It is an issue of gay men who live double lives. All races of men do this when do not wish to reveal their homosexuality!!!
Anthony
October 2 2006, 11:26PM
I'm A black Gay man in Augusta GA my lover is white but my lover grew up in a 80% black area he knows slang black men started the down low term just as word up so on
Whites accept gays more and the black community it was hush don't talk about it don't say it I use to have low self esteem a white guy touch me I got mad thinking he did it to be funny turns out that’s my lover now we been together since 1977
We put labels on our self we can not stop others from using labels when we put them there we not God we have no power to control what people say do words mean nothing
We all need to get a life if I kept playing a victim i would not have my own company and making it today
we put most on the pain and stress on our selfs playing a victim truth to it is you out to get your self and kill your self slowly over and over
Jeffery Mingo
December 28 2006, 2:16AM
In his autobiography, Gov. McGreevey writes, "Long before the African American community coined the term to describe a world of men who mostly pass as straight but sneak sex with other men, we were on the down low--as men of all races have been for hundreds of years." (99) I really think your article is what moved him to include that sentence. You really have an impact, my brother!