Waiting To Exhale

Jeff Hobbs
November 8 2005, 10:13AM

OMG on tv together? Oprahs the only person that could get my ex and i together sans an act of God!!LOL Maybe I'll give her a call and make it a circus!

Waddie G.
November 8 2005, 10:15AM

From the pictures of the taping of Oprah's show, this seems like an episode that will be talked about for days. I just hope that both people act civil and refrain from the name-calling at the show. Of course, Ms. Winfrey won't play that.

Bernie
November 8 2005, 10:52AM

Lord Jesus!

bucknips
November 8 2005, 10:57AM

Yes! Lord Jesus!

brotha
November 8 2005, 11:32AM

I hate bitches.

Life's betta wid out dem hoes, NE way.

Next dude she jocks will b gay 2.

Frederick Smith
November 8 2005, 11:37AM

Looks like we'll have a ton to discuss at work and online on Thursday morning... Oprah and Noah's Arc. Thanks for the heads up!
fs

Charles
November 8 2005, 12:06PM

They are both milking this entire thing far too much...there is nothing new to be told here, unless Oprah is going to ask the tough questions such as: didn't you know and your need to have a good looking man clouded your judgment; did the sex dwindle or was he has passionate as in the beginning, was your world too big for him and opened his eyes to the array of sexual options etc...her books sales will climb as a result (she is a poor writer with not much substance in her styling much like E. Lynn Harris) and he will get more offers than he can handle to tell his story as well as sexual ones...blah blah blah...Keith you are wrong as both of things have moved on in their lives because they are both seeing the green of money and richness of exposure…

Gordon
November 8 2005, 12:23PM

Stop hating on Keith and them Charles. NE way, its a story that has an audience, and most of all, people really want to see this and hear it from both sides.

My best friend is Jamaican, and he married a straight women for his citizenship or residency. And I know tons of others who have done the same thing. Yes, I think Terry is a bitch but no one deserves to be used the way she has. I want wish that on anyone, because I know people that do that. I know people in Jamaican, Dominican Republic and other places who prey on these women, and before you know it, they are here in America reaping the benefits of being slick, cunning, and misleading.

But, I read somewhere, " Be not deceived, for god is not mocked, whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap" Pay back is a bitch.

G

cmoney
November 8 2005, 12:45PM

If you think this break up was messy, wait until gays who were married start getting divorced. Talk about drama!!

castiron
November 8 2005, 12:58PM

Their visit with god, Oprah Winfrey, who I adore even moreso after her poignant remarks at Mrs. Rosa Park's funeral at Metropolitan, is all about money. This guy and McMillian are going straight to the bank with the spike in revenue from new book sales.

James
November 8 2005, 1:26PM

I can't believe this. I would definitely not be on OPRAH, of all talk shows, letting all of my business hang out!

I will surely tape it and watch it after work, though.

I agree I know that it's all about money, honey -- but TM is going for the big bucks by promoting herself (and her messiness) on Oprah.

j. brotherlove
November 8 2005, 1:38PM

I literally howled when I saw the clip yesterday. I don't know *why* they would agree to go on television with their cat-fighttng but I sure as hell won't miss it!

Also, did you catch that Oprah is doing *another* show on gay men who marry women without divulging their sexuality?

Homegirl needs to balance these shows with some positive segments on gay men... other than the queens she has on payroll (Andre, Reggie, Nate, Colin, etc) who keep her living the fabulous life.

Lang
November 8 2005, 1:44PM

I have been studying the "Media" for years and have come to the conclusion than the Industry is all a big facade. Maybe Terry and Tele-hubby planned this all a long. Think about it! The things people do for money and spotlight, they would even humiliate themselves (reality tv). Terry Mc(million) I think has no shame for herself. This all should be done in private council. This Divorce Court- Jerry-esque type of beahviour is not helpful and again like the DL experience is gonna give the Black gay male yet another strike. Can you say after all this negative hype about being Black gay and male is gonna trap more Brothas in the closet.Americans have no fucking privacy about nothing, you sit an the train and bus and hear people's sex, home life business just all out there. That why relationships are so hard to last. To much dicslosure. Does Terry really feel she is doing a service for women. It;'s the new phenom' that not so new yet she wants to be the trailblazer. It's the whole DL experience repackaged and fed to us again. How 'bout we have that King fool moderate the Oprah show. I love Oprah but with Black gay issues she is so biased and needs to do her homework more.

Phoenix
November 8 2005, 1:53PM

Such circumstances will continue in the lives of women right up until the day they fully embrace their gay brothers without pretending they have less right to a sense of dignity than someone else. The gay male longs to be out and true to himself but find women can many times be unaccepting to the fact that a strong gay male is someone who does not want her. Culturally there is a need to prevent that from even seeming to be true by playing with the dignity of gay males...so no one will want to be thought of as being gay,therefore,he will have to want her. Many guys may choose to display that he wants her(whether it is true or not)just to be accepted with a sense of dignity....but one day the whole stack of cards might come down!

Kola Boof
November 8 2005, 2:12PM

I'm on Terry's side 100%.

Kola

Kola Boof
November 8 2005, 2:16PM

Lang, I agree that this does look like publicity stunt.

I wouldn't say they planned it ALL ALONG....but what I would say is that they've come to some agreement behind "closed doors".....and part of that is the same as it was with "How Stella Got Her Groove Back"......that Jonathan help her to sell books by exploiting their reality.

Once again, though...

I'm on Terry's side 100% in this.

I think what Jonathan did was despicable, deliberate and evil.

Irregardless of how stupid Terry was.

Everybody wants love and when you want love too desperately---it makes you blind.

Jonathan took advantage of that.

Kola

Kola Boof
November 8 2005, 2:25PM

Brotha wrote:

I hate bitches.

Life's betta wid out dem hoes, NE way.

Next dude she jocks will b gay 2.

KOLA says:

It's a shame you slimey bastards can't give birth to yourselves.

Isn't it?

Maybe that's why you're such trash--because your mother was a bitch.

Shame you had to be born underneath a porch like that, "brotha"----and an even bigger shame that you never left from under it.

And for the record...TERRY is not a bitch.

She's no more of a bitch than the MEN who run and legislate this world--of which she's had to compete in---and it's really disgusting that so many GAY BLACK MEN are just as SEXIST and hateful against black women as the next fool.

It's amazing how we dont' want to be discriminated against or abused.....yet we can make up EXCUSES for why it's ok to discriminate and committ abuse against others.

Kola

Tyler
November 8 2005, 2:30PM

Bull.

They are milking this for every bit of face time they can. Appearing on Oprah may ease some pains for both because that's what Oprah does. But do not for one second think that's why they agreed to appear. Intention and effect are not always correlated.

Can we move on from this stuff?

MrsRenee
November 8 2005, 2:55PM

I say let them both ride it until the wheels fall off. Make that money!!!

taylor Siluwé
November 8 2005, 3:05PM

I have nothing to say about this. I'll be watching though ... God only knows why.

brotha
November 8 2005, 3:28PM

Kola,

"Frailty, thy name is woman."

Your 'hysterical' response is typical of your gender. Hysterical, by the way is derived from the same word as hysterectomy; hysteria which is from the Greek words for woman and crazy. Esta loca.

Glad I didn't make that shyt up.

Derrick
November 8 2005, 3:37PM

This is capitalism par excellence!

I just wish Oprah would do a show where lesbians and gay men are given the opportunity to critically challenge heterosexism and homophobia, as opposed to the vilification we usually receive on her show. i.e. (J.L. King, Gay for 30 Days, My Husband's Gay, etc...) Can a brotha get a little balance? I agree with you Lang.

Kola, I am with you on the sexism issue. People who practice sexism, while advocating for the eradication of racial and sexual discrimination are self-defeating.

"The Master’s tools will never dismantle the Master’s house." - Audre Lorde

Kenneth Winfrey
November 8 2005, 3:56PM

Derrick and J. Brotherlove, I'm with you. The villification of Black gay men, and the victimhood of women in pop psychology is so utterly overdone.

If you're an adult, 9 out of 10 times, you're a victim of nothing but your own choices. Accept the mistakes, learn from them, and move on; but this need to feel sorry for a plebean millionaire lucky star is too much. She can barely speak in complete sentences, has the disposition of a ghetto queen, and married a man that is too young for her by any standard--and was too eager to wrap her legs around him before she could see that he is, in fact, as gay a Christmas tree on Christmas Eve!

She's the victim of her own naïveté at best. At worst, she, like so many women, blame the men that break their hearts as if someone committed a crime. BE FOR REAL!!! What about men like me who dated cheating, lying women? I had yet to meet one that didn't wind up with her sculptured nail in my face making some unreasonable demand. The first one lied about her age, the second cheated on me with her "baby daddy" and the third hid the fact that she was married.

Therefore, women SO need to step away from the table of righteousness and accept the bumps and bruises life has to offer! All of us, male and female, are throwing arrows at each other's hearts. Women do not have a patent on virtue! (God, I wish I could put a sound file in here so I can scream it out...)

I have had my heart broken more than a few times by men, but I learned to excercise better judgement and realized that love is a risky business.

Forever Barri
November 8 2005, 4:23PM

Does anyone remember years ago when the tabloids reported that our almighty Oprah disowned her AIDS stricken gay brother and left him to die broke, alone and addicted to drugs? Funny, I don't recall her making a show about that episode in the day in the life of Oprah. I can only imagine whose side she will be on. Enjoy black television at its best......!

Damion
November 8 2005, 5:16PM

I felt Terry and Jonathan's pain...i was actually kind of sick of it. But i never dismissed the situation as a publicity stunt ,until now. I wanna say let it go! But the way book sales are lagging it only makes sense to me.

jazzi
November 8 2005, 7:32PM

If Jonathan knew he was gay when he met & married Terry, then he is wrong for that. That's not gay bashing or "villifying" anyone. If this man deceived her, then Terry has a right to be pissed. I think anyone would be under those circumstances.

Is it not the least bit possible that Terry didn't know he was gay when she met him, that she wasn't "blinded by love"? Let's say she was blinded by love, who among us hasn't been so smitten with someone that we couldn't see what was clear to everyone else? Does that mean we deserve to get our hearts broken, to be betrayed?

jazzi
November 8 2005, 7:38PM

I think Jonathan knew he was gay all along & just got sick & tired of living a lie. He's still a young man at age 30. He wanted to live his life & fully embrace his true sexual identity, something that would have been very difficult to do in Jamaica. It's just a shame that someone elses life had to be affected by his confusion & deception.

Kenneth Winfrey
November 8 2005, 7:40PM

I don't agree with Oprah on everything.

However, I KNOW that the only brother she has(who is a half brother) is still alive and well. Even if she did have a relative in such a situation, other family members certainly would not have allowed it to happen that way.

It's amazing that some of us would choose to believe that Oprah would abandon a sick relative, but not the story about bat boy or the 200-pound cat...

Forever Barri
November 8 2005, 8:12PM

Kenneth Winfrey....Maybe Oprah has two half brothers, but the one that I was referring to was Jeffrey Lee, who died of AIDS in 1989. The website that validates this is WWW.OprahWinfrey.de...This took place during the same period Oprah did Brewster's Place. It's not a matter of belief here, more like a matter of how much we yearn to see high profile celebrities going through trials and tribulations and thanking a very wealthy and powerful woman for bringing it to us in our living rooms. How many caucasian celebrities would have brought their marital demise on public television on the Oprah show at that. Let's wait on seeing Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston being the next couple. Very unlikely.

Kenneth Winfrey
November 8 2005, 9:01PM

No, she has only one half brother. His name is not Jeffery Lee either. Furthermore, www.OprahWinfrey.de does not appear to be an authorized site, and I wouldn't trust it as a source of information. While I don't keep in touch with all of my relatives all of the time, I do know who they are, and there was no such story of a man named Jeffery Lee.

Actually, 1989 was about the time I came out as well. I'm sure the story of Jeffery would have been used in the arsenal of reasons why I shouldn't be gay...

Even though I'm a relative, I'm not on the payroll. So I don't think I'll waste anymore time on this...

Shaun A. Brown
November 8 2005, 10:42PM

First and foremost let me say that I am a proud reader of Terry McMillian's novels. In all honesty you can just look at the brother and tell that he wasn't heterosexual. He had a quality about him that made me say "Hmmmm". It is obvious that closeted men and women will go to great links to avoid any accusations from others and themselves about their true sexuality.

In a strange way, being with each other paid off. Terry's novel was a best seller and he's an official citizen of the USA. Lets let the truth really be said that they used each other for personal gain. However, we don't know the whole story anyway.

Octavio
November 8 2005, 11:09PM

Kola...irregardless is not a word...think about it. Moreover, you've granted Terry immunity because she was blindly in love? Since when did irresponsibility (note: that is a word) equate to innocence? Finally, I find it "disgusting" and ignoble (see how the prefix thing works?) that you would reduce yourself to personal insults - it's not very lady like;)

Kola Boof
November 8 2005, 11:45PM

Like Alice Walker said:

I have NO INTEREST in being a "lady".

That's you boys's thing.

And irregardless IS a word....in Great Britain.

And they made up the English that YOU Americans copied, and rather badly.

I stand by everything I said. And I totally believe Terry when she says that she trusted Jonathan and BELIEVED that he was "straight".

This may come as a shock to many of you---but there are many straight women REALLY DON'T have "gay-dar".

And after going through so many bad men....I can see how Terry was swept off her feet by a charming, very sensitive caring man who related to her like and Old Chum.

Gay males do have the ability to relate to women and to understand them.......now couple that fact with a DESPERATE 20 year old's quest to get off an island and get U.S. citizenship ANNNNNDD be taken care of financially for 10 years.....

by a vulnerable older woman who he convinced that age was just a number....fucked her really, really good....and made her believe that he really loved her.

YOUNG GIRLS run this same game on rich men....ALL THE TIME. And it's not right when they do it either.

And many of these Older Black Women's NOVELS attack and spite these young women for using their bodies and "conniving ways" to leech off men. I think it's called a "golddigger" and it's a #1 hit right now.

Jonathan was WRONG as RAIN. He deliberately LIED and led this woman to believe that he would always be HER MAN...and be there for her. And that no matter what goes on OUTDOORS......she could come home to him and TRUST him to be there.....for her.

Naturally, like any other human being---she's devastated to and PUBLICLY humiliated. And now she's trying to save face by playing the tough cookie....and make some money off her misfortune at the same time.

I'm on Terry's side 100%

...and I really do wish that "some" GAY MEN (in fact a very small number of them) would stop pretending to be straight and misleading women into these relationships (KNOWING that females are "socialized" to believe in true love.....and that males are "socialized" to play games and abandon those who care and invest in them).

It's not that I don't love all the gay men here at Keith Boykin's site----I really do.

But #1....why should I lie to you about what my opinion is?

And #2....any man (straight or gay) who wants to announce that he HATES WOMEN and that we shouldn't be in the world....as "brotha" did.....is the kind of man who will find his dick bitten off and eaten by me. A real, true Bitch.

So just remember, boys...it took a "bitch" for you to

BE ONE

Kola

Millie Jaye
November 8 2005, 11:52PM

Terry McMillan had a temporary break with sanity when she decided to marry a child (yes, a 20 year old is a child). She had another more recent break with reality when that child (yes, he is one of "the children") grew up!
Now she needs to grow up!

Millie Jaye
November 9 2005, 12:12AM

Oops, my bad, she waited 3 years to marry him when he was 23, only after she baited him with every vice known to man (except of course, other men!)

I find it hard to believe Jonathan is the first homosexual "Terrance" has fallen in love with.
Millie does not just wonder....Millie knows that's not the case!

edwin greene
November 9 2005, 12:06PM

It seems that most of the women who comment on the Terry McMillan/Jonathan Plummer drama appear to based most of their anger on the fact that he turned out to be gay.

I guess if he had dumped Terry for a woman it would have been "ok" (if that is the right word).

Soulpoet
November 9 2005, 12:25PM

PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE! The first time I saw a picture of Terry McMillan's hubby, I knew he was gay! I mean come on! He wore more makeup than her! Point could be, that she fell in love with him and overlooked that "fact" about him. A lot of woman do. Look at Star Jones.... Amen, to that....

dktex
November 9 2005, 4:15PM

Maya Angelou once said on an Oprah show when a person shows you themeselves the first time, believe them. Lots of times, we choose to look in other directions and say that love is blind. You can never conquer what you don't confront. I venture to say that Terry wanted to ask and maybe even played the thought over and over again in her head as to whether he was gay or not, but she was vulnerable and naive which is what happens to most people when they later make the excuse that they let their guard down in love. Love is patient and kind, but it is also truth to yourself and others. The question that should be asked is whether she ever wrestled with the thought and if so, did she question him about it and if not, why?

Lang
November 9 2005, 4:28PM

IS TERRY on drugs or is she overacting? That whole situation on Oprah is BULLSHIT and I don't believe either of them. Don't beleive the hype y'all!So contrived! In my opinion.

Lang
November 9 2005, 4:28PM

IS TERRY on drugs or is she overacting? That whole situation on Oprah is BULLSHIT and I don't believe either of them. Don't beleive the hype y'all!So contrived! In my opinion.

cmoney
November 9 2005, 4:37PM

I just watched Oprah and Terry McMillan gang up on Plummer. It was ridiculous. McMillan came off as immature and down right silly. I expected more from a person of her stature. She came off as someone who was upset that her boy toy grew up not that her husband cheated on her and turned out to be gay. Her voice mails were foul and hateful. What's more, she looked and acted like his mother. Oprah had nerve to ask Plummer why he wanted any of McMillan's money. Of course it would be politically incorrect to ask a woman the same question when she files for divorce. I guess Oprah never bothered to think that McMillan made millions of off the story she wrote about her life with Plummer. Stupid old bags!

alicia
November 9 2005, 4:55PM

i love terri
and i feel her pain

but love is a ruthless game
and adults just dust off and move on when they are betrayed by lovers

and yes
gold diggers come in all genders
real women admit when they have been played
amd real men admith when they are players

no one could ever make me play this out in public
it should be private

i admire them both for their courage and candor
and i hope they both heal and love again

peace
ab

cmoney
November 9 2005, 5:01PM

Now the truth comes out: Oprah bought the rights to McMillan's new book. A little disclosure at the END of the show. What a bunch of crap! I hope Plummer gets paid big $$!

alicia
November 9 2005, 5:09PM

ps:

i do not believe jonathan
i think he played terri
i knew i was gay at 5
and i think we all know long before 20
and he admits he had sex with men long before terri....

kola
i love u
and i am on terri's side 100% too
and i know she is no gaybasher
she is just hurt and angry and wounded...
i forgive her for anything she says about us now
she is human and enraged...rightfully so

still
i wish jonathan peace and love now that he has grown up and come out..
his karma will repay all

if i lived in a gaybashing hell hole like jamaica
i would do anything to escape it too

peace
ab