The Kiss Seen Around The World
By Keith Boykin, in sports
Friday, October 28 2005, 11:12AM
Several people wrote in to tell me that Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was actually kissing his son in the AP photo taken after his team's World Series victory. Turns out that Guillen really likes to kiss. And hug. And all kinds of friendly loving displays of emotion that "real men" or "straight men" don't do in public.
More than a week before the famous celebratory kiss (shown here), Chicago Tribune columnist Dawn Turner Trice observed what she called a "kissing phenomenon" in professional baseball. "At the end of Saturday's (Oct. 15) win against the Los Angeles Angels, I watched White Sox Manager Ozzie Guillen in the dugout, congratulating his players. He hugged one after another, while giving several a nice little peck on the cheek," she wrote.
Wow! That's a coach doing that. In my day on the football, wrestling and track teams, you were lucky if the coach yelled at you in a soft tone of voice. That was considered affectionate.
Trice calls Guillen a "metroSOXual manager." This is how she described his behavior on October 16 after a Sox victory. "On Sunday night, (Oct. 16), Guillen hugged and kissed his son, which isn't unusual. But then he also hugged and kissed Contreras. A few minutes later in the clubhouse, he hugged and kissed Sox Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf after Reinsdorf was given the American League Championship trophy. (Sources tell me that Guillen hugged and kissed Sox pitcher Freddy Garcia after one playoff win, but I didn't witness that.)"
Trice believes that kissing may be "the real key to the team's success." As she put it, his kisses "speak volumes about the level of compassion he has for his sport and his team. And, by golly, he's not afraid to express it beyond the ordinary high-five or helmet smack."
Maybe we are seeing a revolution. If the yelling and screaming coaches aren't as successful as the kissing and hugging coaches, maybe we'll see a new style of team management. Or maybe some straight guys are just comfortable kissing other guys. I have a cousin who played college football who used to kiss his father all the time.
Back in the day, Los Angeles Lakers player Magic Johnson and Detroit Pistons player Isiah Thomas made history when they began kissing each other before their basketball games in 1988.
Meanwhile, in today's professional sports, the sexy soccer stud David Beckham has been photographed in very affectionate poses with his fellow male athletes.
Wouldn't it be great if straight guys could kiss each other if they wanted to do so? Nobody raises an eyebrow when two women kiss each, but we get all upset when two guys do it. That's because guys are socialized differently. I don't believe there's anything in the genetic makeup of men that makes them unable or unwilling to display affection toward one another. I think we learn that behavior from society. Once again, I think we're talking about socially-constructed norms of masculinity.
And so we should thank Guillen for helping to break the kissing barrier in baseball. As Trice put it, "Any man who can kiss another man on the cheek in a fairly macho sport, and create an atmosphere where players don't mind a smooch every now and then after they've excelled, has won my heart and admiration entirely."
Comments conceal
castiron
October 28 2005, 11:43AM
Please don't turn this father son kiss into something sexual or homosexual.
Jeff
October 28 2005, 11:56AM
Here we go again. I knew someone was going to take it there. There's nothing in Keith's commentary that suggests that he's trying to turn this into anything but what it is...two men showing affection. It's we the people who turn this into something else. It's us who get uptight and shun men who do this for fear of homosexuality. Contrary to popular belief it's not always about sex just as heterosexuality isn't always about procreation.
cmoney
October 28 2005, 12:14PM
Call me old fashioned, but I like the good old, All-American, NFL pat on the ass. We could use a little more affection among men, but kissing the run of the mill guy on the field is kinda yucky. Some cultural oddities (like no deodorant and dirty old men kissing each other) should stay in Europe!
jazzi
October 28 2005, 12:16PM
Believe it or not, kissing, hugging, & even holding hands among men in a non-sexual way are common & customary in a lot of countries, Africa among them. So we're finally catching up? Cool.
jazzi
October 28 2005, 12:18PM
I might add that only in America would something like this be considered blog or news worthy.
E-RED
October 28 2005, 12:36PM
ayo Castiron, I won't turn this father son kiss into something sexual or homosexual ... but I can't help turning such a dangerous lip liaison into something "romantic." I mean, dude kissed his father/son flat out on the lips? What gives? Sure, in African or Middle Eastern regions where culturally it's okay for 2 men to kiss, they do so on the cheek or in the air ... not flat out on the lips! .... okay, enough of me tryin to make y'all uptight (*laff*), let me come with what I think is REALLY going on. On da serious, I see this as an extension of male hyper-heteromasculinity. Now work with me y'all ... back in the day, it was considered straight fag for a man to have a hole in his ear ... eventually, a bruh could wear 2 earrings and not have his sexuality questioned. Now a kat can even sport 2 gold hoops, wear his permed hair in up in a bun, and rock a BRIGHT PINK furry kangol kap! And he still be a real thug. So with all this going on, why not now be able to kiss another dude square on the lips and not think twice? I mean, who's gonna question my sexuality if I'm clear about what I am?? Peace
E-RED
October 28 2005, 12:41PM
... and if I'm REAL thoro, I can even dare anybody to question my sexuality by kissing another dude square on the lips front of thousands of people! That's gangsta!!
bucknips
October 28 2005, 12:42PM
I have often felt stifled by the restrictions that hetersexual men place on expressing their affections out of fear of being less "manly. How can a pat on the back or the clichéd "handshake/half-embrace" possibly demonstrate the range of emotions that we feel in our relationships with male friends, teammates, old acquaintances, etc? It is refreshing to see these men publicly demonstrating what is sometimes uncontrollable - joy, love, respect or just comradarie. Unfortunately 'Castiron' you misunderstood what Keith was suggesting.
norge
October 28 2005, 12:51PM
these photos are all so endearing. i feel inspired to make a collage. there's another step to hope for, though: for it to be okay for a straight man to kiss a gay man on the lips without it meaning anything sexual.
castiron
October 28 2005, 1:14PM
Ok. after reading keith's commentary in its entirety, i see it wasn't his intention to make the father-son kiss something sexual. I think his point was simply to say that it's a good thing that more varied forms of affection among heterosexual men are becoming acceptable in American landscape. The real culprit here is probably me as I, myself, tend to sexualize everything.
taylor Siluwé
October 28 2005, 3:00PM
there's nothing wrong with 'sexualizing' things. we're sexual creatures and thus do it out of habit.
i'm glad to see people are loosening their collars on the subject, just a little bit.
wouldn't more kisssing and less blowing each other up be a good thing?
Jeff
October 29 2005, 1:06AM
You're right. I just sexualized what you said about 'blowing each other". I read everthing but the part of up at the end...lol
Jenni- Chicago girl
October 30 2005, 12:36AM
"I know ozzie and the fam and that is his son in the pic that he is kissing." I really love this pic and my family is from the islands and we are just like this with each other. Very cute and congrats to all the white sox and i love them all. I love CHICAGO to death and everything about it. CHICAGO is the most beautiful city in the universe and no one can touch that.
CanadaCraig
October 30 2005, 6:55AM
I think it's great. Far too many American men are SO insecure it's not funny. In fact - it's often tragic. The fear of being looked upon as 'gay' has put many a wall up between even fathers and sons. [not to mention brothers and best friends] I've often heard 'dads' SAY stupid things like, "I don't want to get TOO close to my SON - 'cause I don't want him to turn FAG on me!!" Isn't that beautiful?! YIKES.