WNBA's Sheryl Swoopes Comes Out

jazzi
October 26 2005, 10:35AM

"It's not something that I want to throw in people's faces. I'm just at a point in my life where I'm tired of having to pretend to be somebody I'm not." She added, "I'm tired of having to hide my feelings about the person I care about. About the person I love."

Sounds to me like she just wants to live her life. She doesn't want to be on the forefront & she doesn't have to be. She doesn't have to wear it on her sleeve. She doesn't think she was born gay? Fine. That'll probably leave some gays scratching their heads & may enough raise the ire of a few. The way I see it is not everyone has the same story. We all can't say that we "felt that way" since childhood. Some of our stories are different. Some don't discover their true selves until they reach their 30's or even middle age.

However she deals with her sexuality now is her bees wax & no one elses. Period. Is it asking to much that we just be happy that someone is finding peace & freedom in living in the light & not the shadows? No more hiding & pretending. No anxiety over if you'll be "found out". No more shame, no more fear. She's out now, in a way that she's comfortable with & people will just have to accept it.

cmoney
October 26 2005, 10:44AM

Good for her! Tired of hiding is enough reason to come out--one less thing to worry about in life. Maybe she will inspire some NBA player to comeout. I'm hoping, I need a date!! :-)

Houman
October 26 2005, 11:31AM

I agree with you Jazzi 100%. Go Sheryl.

Cody
October 26 2005, 11:56AM

She played professional basketball. Should anybody really be surprised?

The great day will be when such an announcement does not provoke such fanfare and voyeuristic titillation. So what that she has a female lover? What does that tell us about her character?

Gays, both in the closet and out, can be every bit a shallow, evil, cheating, lying, backstabbing, despicable person as straight folks can be.

When will we measure folks for the content of their character, not who or what they sleep with?

Carla
October 26 2005, 12:12PM

I'm on Jazzi's bandwagon too!

"When will we measure folks for the content of their character, not who or what they sleep with?" You got that right Cody!

JayeOne
October 26 2005, 12:57PM

Let me play devil's advocate....coming out to increase ones net worth...spokesperson for a new lesbian cruise line..should be well worth it. I knew something motivated this other than being tired of hiding her feelings for her partner.

Whether she has been a lesbian all of her life or not is not important. Lesbians of color will have a lesbian of color as a role model who's got game.

JayeOne

C-one
October 26 2005, 1:07PM

Jayone, how 'bout this.

Lesbians of color: Be your own role model.

Novel concept.

Cody
October 26 2005, 2:09PM

On being open about who you love:

I attended a memorial service at Riverside Church in NYC last night for a friend. Edgar Richards was an organizer of the Churches LGBT ministry. He was also a talented artist and dancer.

Edgar was passionate about equality and justice. He was also a good person.

His sister sang his favorite song and his two brothers gave emotional, heart felt tributes.

His lover thanked his family for welcoming him as family and allowing him to openly participate in the decisions effecting Edgar as he prepared to leave this place.

Riverside’s pastor Forbes gave a moving eulogy about the inclusiveness of God. Even I had my awareness broadened of the Creator of the Universe.

Three things struck me as I sat in that beautifully appointed cathedral, one of the world’s finest.

For LGBT people who attend non-accepting churches and places of worship, what must the experience of dying and transitioning be like? How shameful it is that every departure from this place can’t be as open and honest and accepting and loving.

Two: How can gays let homophobic interpretations of the scripture and other people turn them against God?

Three: After a long lull it seems as if people are dying again from a scurge too many of us assumed erroneously, was defeated.

I heard Farrakhan talk about the number of black men a funeral director buried in Chicago in just one week last summer. 66 he said. The majority of cases were AIDS related followed by homicide.

Wilder
October 26 2005, 2:13PM

JayeOne - Olivia is hardly a "new lesbian cruise line". It's 32 years old. Anyone with a Nike shoe named after her does not need to go after other endorsement money willy-nilly. If you are going to be the devil's advocate bone up on your facts.

DMF
October 26 2005, 2:45PM

Cody --

My partner attended Edgar's memorial service (they were both in school in Atlanta at the same time), and was also moved by Dr. Forbes' words.

Thanks for your question about the content of one's character. Unfortunately, in a society unable to integrate all the things that make someone who they are; e.g. foods they like, where they grew up, the work they do, what they see as right and wrong, it is difficult to simply judge (unfortunate word, but my mental thesaurus isn't working today) someone's character.

You said:
"She played professional basketball. Should anybody really be surprised?"
Should we not be surprised that she's a lesbian because she plays pro ball? 'Cause if so, my lesbian card needs to be pulled since I can't catch.

Laura
October 26 2005, 3:40PM

"When will we measure folks for the content of their character, not who or what they sleep with?"

lol when will people stop quoting that little half sentence and pay attention to the whole speech?

so swpoes doesn't think she was "born gay", shrug.

i'm sick of that argument, anyway. equality is equality whether nature, nurture or both.

Cody
October 26 2005, 3:44PM

DMF

There is nothing in my statement that says all lesbians can play basketball.

Just as all blacks can't dance.

But, I'm not surprized when I see a black man who can boogie. Nor should we be surprized when a woman who plays basketball well enough to be a professional is a lesbian.

Should we?

Cody
October 26 2005, 3:49PM

Speaking of low character:

Hi Laura.

Javier Vazquez
October 26 2005, 3:57PM

Not to quibble, but doesn't that make her bisexual, not lesbian?

James
October 26 2005, 4:06PM

Now, I'm just waiting for some of the NBA players to come out.

Michelle
October 26 2005, 4:15PM

All I can say is IT'S ABOUT D*MN TIME!!!

However, what does this mean for me? Nothing - I hope she wins more MVP awards and more championships.

Are her opponents going to run from her and say I don't want to play with the lesbian? No because the WNBA would surely F-O-L-D!!!

Let her live her life and be happy.

Neledi
October 26 2005, 4:32PM

Uh oh! We've got a spokeswoman and she's got it right. We are born human beings and the attitudes and behaviors that we acquire from social insitutions influence our sexual orientation.

One love to the black woman even if it is publicity. Somebody had to do it, and I'm glad it was a baller!

Look out straights.....here we are

DMF
October 26 2005, 4:53PM

Cody, not to nickel & dime words, but "She played professional basketball. Should anybody really be surprised?" kinda leads me, and only me, to think that you're implying that female athletes are more likely to be lesbians or lesbians are more likely to be athletic, which is why I responded with my not being able to catch (absolutely true, BTW; I became a musician instead). I don't know that we should, or should not be surprised, and if you say you didn't mean to imply that many or most pro female athletes are lesbians, then I'm cool.

Michelle
October 26 2005, 5:06PM

Well - I played sports but my momma always made sure I looked like a girl. She didn't know I like to play WITH them also.

Anyhoo - to say that women who play sports are lesbians is very stereotypical. I know some STRAIGHT women who play flag AND tackle football. Will they eventually come out? Who knows - they're playing a sport they like to play.

Their sexual preference is secondary.

norge
October 26 2005, 5:25PM

Martina Navratilova came out publicly 14 years ago . . .other elite atheletes have been out for years, even decades. Not related to sexual orientation per se, but significantly related in terms of the stigma, even being HIV positive has already broken the surface in professional sports with Magic Johnson and Greg Luganis. Why is this a big deal? Because she was formerly married? Maybe some complexity here is good.

At any rate. . .
Good for her for doing this on her own terms, maybe the progress will be she doesn't lose her endorsements.

chicago_angel
October 26 2005, 7:10PM

good for her. the world will continue to rotate im sure

phd2b11
October 26 2005, 8:33PM

She's my girl regardless of how she handles the situation. She's always been outspoken, now she's being real. I love it! And I'm glad the
WNBA and her team aren't against her decision. I'm sure they've known though.

DC
October 26 2005, 10:07PM

Regarding Sheryl's belief that she wasn't born gay, I don't know why no one here so far has pointed out that scientists generally consider female sexuality to be different from male sexuality. It has been known for a long time that women are much more likely to feel and believe their orientation is a choice. Women also exhibit more sexual fluidity than men. Men are more likely to feel and believe their orientation is unchosen and fixed. I think Sheryl's statement about not being born gay has more to do with gender differences in sexuality than the causes of sexual orientation. Guys, don't feel threatened. We know we didn't choose to be this way and we can't change who we are. Girls, if it is a choice for you, that's OK, too. DC

Angry BLACK MAN
October 27 2005, 1:48AM

fuck all of yall who say yall are glad swoopes is gay because that fucked my goals and intentions of having her for myself. Indeed those goals were lofty but I can still dream and once again fuck yall its my opinion ant thats the way I feel. Oh yeah yall need JESUS in ya life

Laura
October 27 2005, 1:52AM

go get blown, cody.

you're overdue for your ex-gay lobotomy session.

jaymillion
October 27 2005, 4:16AM

Keith LOL @"THE WNBA IS FILLED WITH LESBIANS". Just as American Idol is filled with gay men. Why does everyone care about marketing to middle America? If they can't except it, than so be it. The WNBA should market to the Lesbos.

jaymillion
October 27 2005, 4:17AM

How did Swoopes find out she was a Lesbian? She let that coach eat the carpet and was hooked. Holla.

cool
October 27 2005, 10:57AM

Angry Black Man

If Swoops is your take of the idea female, then u'd do just as well getting a dude.

And he'd come with less baggage.

tiffany
October 27 2005, 11:30AM

'Cody, not to nickel & dime words, but "She played professional basketball. Should anybody really be surprised?" kinda leads me, and only me, to think that you're implying that female athletes are more likely to be lesbians or lesbians are more likely to be athletic ... '

Or it could mean that lesbians and black women have been exempted from the ideal of delicate, fragile, passive womanhood, and as a result have always been more likely to engage sports than straight, white women -- pre-Title IX at least.

Michelle
October 27 2005, 11:34AM

LOL @ COOL!!!

I agree throw her back!!!

Michelle
October 27 2005, 2:45PM

Ok someone mentioned Sheryl being a spokesperson for a lesbian cruise line. WELL...

I just gOt an email that Olivia Cruise Lines supports Sheryl's coming out and she's going to be on their Mexican Riveria Cruise taking place in TWO DAYS!!!

Coincidence - I think not. Went to the website and there's Sheryl wearing an Olivia t-shirt. I say ride it until the wheels fall off Sheryl. Cash in!!!

alicia banks
October 27 2005, 2:49PM

just glad she is out
unlike 99.9% of her butch "closeted" wnba peers...

ever notice those who deny we/they are born gay
also always simultaneously fail to explain why or how they chose to defy their own "het" births and live as gays?...

if they are so sure they were not born gay then
why are they also so very unsure about how they became gay???

imo: this denial is typical bs
i still admire her courage and refusal to sell het lies...

she was either born a lesbian
or
she is a het woman choosing to have lesbian sex
and not a real/perm lesbian

peace
ab

Michelle
October 27 2005, 3:16PM

Interesting comments AB. I think what people don't realize is that those of us who feel that we were born gay try to conform to what society thinks we should be and not who we are naturally.

I think this may have been the case with Sheryl. When my mother questioned my sexuality I initially told her I was bisexual because I felt she would not have been as upset if I said I was a lesbian. However, that made it worse - she felt that there was no such thing as bisexual. You were either gay or straight. Needless to say she wanted me to be the latter but I couldn't fake it. So I finally came out - about an hour later.

I say all of this to say - Sheryl did what she felt was best at the moment. I think she came out the way that she did because of her son. A parent is a parent first and their sexuality is second. Their mindset is, how can I be happy and make my child happy or have them try to understand that Mommy is in love with a woman?

Some parents choose to tell their children they felt they were born gay but wanted to do as society says and have a family the traditional way. Sheryl chose to say that she "discovered" she was a lesbian. Whatever helps her sleep at night is her business.

No doubt her son may have some issues and he has every right to feel the way that he does. No child wants to be "different" regardless if it's them or their parent(s).

Laura
October 27 2005, 4:43PM

"I think what people don't realize is that those of us who feel that we were born gay try to conform to what society thinks we should be and not who we are naturally."

same with people who don't, or people like me who don't care. and that is really what is at issue - does you does, or does you don't. it doesn't matter who was born what way, every person is born with human and equal rights which must be enforced...after all, no one ever asks if so-called "heterosexuals" were "born that way" or ever dare question the circumstances of THEIR birth.

Randy Boyd
October 27 2005, 4:54PM

Funny, a woman has the guts to come out and speak her heart and mind, and many of us are debating the "is it a choice?" debate, which, by the way, will never be resolved.

For God's sake, let the woman speak her mind and have her own opinion!

WNBAZY
October 28 2005, 12:47AM

I am so proud of Miss Swoopes. Her coming out is and will always be a courageous act. I will always enjoy her style of play and competition. I only wish I too could be on that cruise. I heard they are really great! (Not to get off the subject) It's time we live and let live. No need to express so much anger. Why do people get so angry anyway? Guess I'm just too laid-back.

hst
October 28 2005, 4:53AM

Wonderful! She has the courage to be herself! Wish more of America was so honest.

Michelle
October 28 2005, 4:28PM

Laura,

Thanks for the input. I never thought of it that way. We spend so much time on the "I was born gay" debate that we don't say anything about "I was born heterosexual" it is just assumed because of how God created the world.

That's my only comment about God so please no bible thumping here.

I do applaud Sheryl on coming out. It was bad enough for me coming out to my mother. Sheryl did it and now the whole world knows.

I hope when the WNBA season starts next year she gets a standing ovation when she comes onto the court.

blacklatina
October 28 2005, 7:01PM

Good for Ms. Sheryl that she decided to 'come out' but REALLY who cares? Like she said several times online during interviews, most of her teammates already knew but guess what....most of us knew also! BIG FRIGGIN DEAL....

Randy Boyd
October 29 2005, 9:36AM

In the late 80s, I was at an AIDS information meeting, trying to learn as much as possible about the virus inside my body, when a speaker said something mostly unheard of in those days:

“You’re not guaranteed to die of AIDS.”

The room lifted and lightened, as if a new dream had been born, as if, for the first time, we were given an alternative to dwelling on our worst nightmares, an alternate reality on which to focus, strive for, dream of coming true.

Some in that room that day, including myself, continue to live the dream of not dying of AIDS ... so far. And we have lived to see all kinds of dreams come true, including a major professional athlete surviving and thriving with HIV/AIDS (thank you, Magic), and now, a major professional athlete proclaiming her dream to survive and thrive with her love in full bloom.

Thank you, Sheryl Swoopes, for daring to give us an alternate reality to the “out pro athlete” nightmare. Thank you for dreaming a better dream.

That’s what the Comet from Houston did. She dreamed of a better life and decided to go for it. She dreamed of better consequences for her honesty and integrity, consequences that served her soul and all those around her. She created an alternate reality for other major league athletes, male and female, by saying:

“You’re not guaranteed to die of hate.”

The world lifted and lightened, as if a new dream had been born, as if, we were given an alternative to dwelling on our worst nightmares, not by the pundits on any side of any debate, but by a warrior/athlete herself.

Thank you, Sheryl Swoopes, for providing us with this reality shift.

Thank you for dreaming the better dream.

Keep dreaming.

tina
October 29 2005, 1:55PM

thank u sheryl swoops for coming out.i would like to know if any others in the wnba will come out? and i wud like to know if every player treats you the same as before.