Black and Gay on Fraternity Row
By Keith Boykin, in sexuality
Thursday, August 11 2005, 4:18PM
If there's one thing I've learned over the years, it's not to believe everything that comes in the email inbox. But a recent email claiming that Alpha Phi Alpha fraternity is sponsoring the nation's first same-sex automobile vanity license plates got me thinking and reminiscing about my own experiences with fraternities.
First, let's start with Alpha Phi Alpha. The Alpha license plate story is not true, says bestselling author E. Lynn Harris, who was mentioned in the email. I spoke to Harris this afternoon about the story and he confirmed the email is completely fabricated. The campaign seems to be a rival's lame homophobic attempt to satirize Alpha Phi Alpha, the nation's oldest black fraternity, as a gay organization. In the process, the email employs derogatory stereotypes about male homosexuality to mock Alpha Phi Alpha.
Alpha Phi Alpha license plates
The Alpha story claims to originate out of Baltimore from the "AP Newswire" and is sent in the form of a press release with two examples of the vanity license plates. One reads "Taking Brotherhood to New Levels" and the other says, "We Stand Behind Our Brotherhood."
"In the age of [the] 'down low', sexual deception, and gender identity confusion, Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. has taken a bold step towards clarifying boundaries and stating its position on such subjects," the press release said. The release claims that the Alphas announced on August 1, at a press conference featuring noted fraternity member E. Lynn Harris, that the group is "endorsing its first same-sex automobile vanity license plate." A quick search on the Internet found nothing about the vanity plates mentioned on the official Alpha Phi Alpha website.
"This is a splendidly wonderful day for A Phi A," said the fictitious Harris character quoted in the press release. The story also quotes the author as saying, "Once again we are leading the way, leaving the rear and boldly marching ahead." Harris is described as "enthusiastic" and "beaming" about the news.
"This is a gift for the Alpha man who has everything, including the best prize -- another Alpha man," the release quotes a man named "Sherman Bottoms" to say. Bottoms, who is described as a designer of the plates, is quoted to say: "I’m tickled through and through and ready for tying up in thinking about what this will mean for many of my brothers."
Tickled through and through? Ready for tying up? This is obviously some narrow-minded individual's mistaken impression of what being gay is all about.
Another Bump On Fraternity Row
But is this incident just a juvenile parody or a homophobic hoax? The press release refers to Alpha Phi Alpha as "Gay Phi Gay" and paints a disparaging picture of black gay men. But on the other hand, many of us have heard similar rumors and speculation for years that one fraternity or another is supposed to be filled with gay men. The fraternity leaders often vigorously deny these allegations.
The truth may lie somewhere in the middle. My sense is there are probably a lot more gay and bisexual men in the nation's black fraternities than the fraternity leaders would like to acknowledge. But on the other hand, I also imagine that there are a lot fewer gay and bisexual men in these fraternities than some openly gay critics suspect.
I think there's something about fraternities that can bring out the best and the worst in men. At their best, they encourage brotherhood and community involvement and provide social outlets unavailable in other places. At their worst, they can reinforce sexism, patriarchy and homophobia and encourage destructive behavior. And it's not just black fraternities we should be examining.
I joined a fraternity in college but eventually opted out after being turned off by some of the negative elements with which I disagreed. Mine was a track frat popular among the track and cross country runners at Dartmouth. I loved some of the brothers in the house, but I did not like the way the fraternity encouraged or tolerated alcoholism among some of its members. One particular member, a star runner on the track team, eventually became so absorbed with drinking that he quit the track team and started a downward spiral.
I became an officially "inactive" member of my fraternity in my senior year and stopped paying dues. I also decided not to join a graduate chapter of any other fraternity while I was in law school. In truth, I have always had mixed feelings about fraternities, but many of my friends are members and I respect those who choose to take part in them.
And so it seems to me that the whole question of which fraternity is "more gay" misses the point. The truth is there are gay members of every fraternity. We just need to find an intelligent way to talk about it.
Alpha Phi Alpha: nation's oldest black fraternity
http://www.alphaphialpha.net/
Delta Phi Upsilon: fraternity for gay men of color
http://www.dphiu.org/programs.html
Comments conceal
michaeliv
August 11 2005, 5:14PM
I have always thought all same gender organizations are a testing ground for those who are not sure of there sexuality. Including the boy scouts, girl scouts, boarding school, etc...
Just my opinion.
ClayStarr
August 11 2005, 5:55PM
well said.
Omar
August 11 2005, 7:56PM
Of course that hoax e-mail was probably done by some immature rival fraternity member (or Sorority) who wanted to bring embaressment to A Phi A by calling it a gay fraternity. As a member of a historically black fraternity I can say that there is an extreme DL mentality among the brotherhoods; A Phi A, Qs, Kappas, Sigmas, Iotas, and so on. As I was going through an in-take process (PC term for hazing) I was shocked at the amount of homo-eroticism that took place (e.g., making me strip naked, hump other brothers on line, older brothers fondling various body parts of the pledges). As I've grown older and met many members of my frat and of other frats, there is a large culture of SGL brothers. Some are married to women and live secret lives, others are openly gay and shunned by the same brothers that they have been involed with and others are just "in the closet". When I decided to join a fraternity in college I was worried that they would discover that I was gay ( I was in the closet back in those days) and bump me from pledging or kick me out the chapter. But to my naieve suprise, so many of the brothers in black frats are gay. And I say this from personal experience.
Oh yeah, I am an Eagle Scout too. There were many boy-boy exploration in the tents during those over-night camping trips (LOL!).
jaymillionaire
August 12 2005, 2:59AM
I used to fantasize about going to a boarding school :)
Bobby Brown
August 12 2005, 3:17AM
First of all, as a member of Alpha Phi Alpha, I'm disgusted (yet not surprised)with the fact that a person and/or organization (rival or not) would stoop that low. I've been annoyed for quite some time with this ignorant preoccupation with sexuality that is tearing not only the black community but this country apart. You would think with all the serious shit going on this world, (i.e. war, AIDS, poverty etc)people would realize that sexuality plays such a small role in the big picture. Yet because we've been raised in these churches that taught us to hate what many of us have known since we were young, (which basically set the stage for what is now an abundance of self hate among black men who happen to be gay)we continue to sit and allow these assholes to viciously attack the very essence of our beings. How does it end? I don't profess to have the ultimate answer but i do know that starting with taking responsibility for yourself and standing up for who u are and what u believe in works. I'll give u an example to prove my point. I'm a member of an alpha listserv catered to the eastern region of the fraternity. Recently an email chain started with the subject line of 'Homosexuality in Alpha' As I read the daily postings on this topic, i was disturbed because the dialogue was full of blatant ignorant homophobic comments like "how can we institute a ban on gays in alpha" and
"how can a gay brother mentor a young man about relationships" I wanted so badly for somebody to say something to shut the discussion down but finally decided i had to say something. I've actually posted my response (that actually SHUT THE CONVERSATION DOWN!) on my new blogpage (beingbobbybrownjr.blogspot.com) the title of the post is 'Homosexuality & Alpha - A Critical Analyis' Lastly, I have a special message for the person and/or organization that started this email hoax madness. DON'T HATE, CONGRATULATE AND PERHAPS ONE DAY U MIGHT BE ABLE TO PARTICIPATE!!
Jared DeWese
August 12 2005, 5:45AM
As an openly gay member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc. I understand the homophobia and bigotry that exists in the fraternity/sorority community. It can often lead you to not believe in the greater mission and forget why you joined in the first place. If this organizations are to survive and serve their intended purposes, uplifting all people of color, we must strive to fight ignorance and increase acceptance and awareness.
Troy
August 12 2005, 9:23AM
Ah ha! The next E.Lynn Harris book will be the trials and tribulations of a writing rock star; working title 'The Road Sucks!' I knew it, I knew it all along.:)
Rhythm
August 12 2005, 9:31AM
hmmmm...
okay, first, I have to say I've noticed much less discrimination against lesbian and bisexual women in our black sororities than I have against gay and bisexual men in black fraternities. I guess that's just a reflection of society as a whole. secondly, I have to question the desires of gay and bisexual men to be in these organizations since most of them have very strong (albeit unspoken) homophobic views when it comes to membership. almost like wanting to be a member of a church that doesn't want you there...
i'm not by any means justifying the homophobia, but i do feel (by general knowledge of frat intake) that most gay and bisexual men who join these fraternities are very closeted when they pledge. that brings up two important questions: do you really want to be a part of an organization you had to "trick" into letting you become a member? and how do you expect the organization to accept you as you are if you didn't first do that yourself?
every gay man i know that is in a black fraternity was closeted when he pledged, only coming out once he was a member (or once he is outed by someone else).
it's unfortunate, but it's widely accepted--both by members, and by those who wish to become members, even at the cost of "passing" to fit it.
DB
August 13 2005, 10:49AM
The stupid idiot that composed the email didn't do too much research. If so, he/she would have known that E. Lynn is not a member of Alpha Phi Alpha. This greek hating can go way too far.
Cederico
August 13 2005, 10:34PM
I too know a lot of Alpha who were closeted gays. In fact the whole chapter at my former college was gay...I was friends with most of them and my gaydar was going off the meter. I had a few actually come on to me.
So I totally agree there is a very closeted DL mentality in black fraternities. It's a shame that so many feel the need to hide their identity when their coming out would help alleviate prejudice.
Dwayne Wayne
August 15 2005, 10:28AM
As a member of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc., I have notice there are many men that are "dl" in historically black fraternities.
Presently, I'm going through my coming-out process. Rejection from my "brothers" is one of my main concerns once I become openly gay. Homophobia is present on many levels of these organizations, creating many brothas to partake in the DL mentality.
Thanks for this post Keith!
DB
August 15 2005, 12:54PM
I stand corrected on E. Lynn's greek affiliation. Thanks.
Myron
August 15 2005, 10:59PM
As a member of Alpha Phi Alpha I knew that the email was a joke, but the brothers should be honest in knowing many of our brothers our homosexual including Brother Harris. If the plate was released its not like we wouldn't have brothers buying them. Hows fraternity life?
Keith Boykin
August 16 2005, 4:31PM
In an email I received today, Chuck Tarver (nero@udel.edu) writes:
Fraternities are also how we as black men do much of our good work. Don’t want someone to join a fraternity and do good work, say it’s gay.
That we can be played so easily is what is really distressing. Yet, our response is to prove how macho we are, even the gay brothers. Until we develop the strategy of understanding that you can be black, male, smart, studious, dedicated, gay, straight, questioning, or any variety of combinations, we will continue to get played. We’ll continue to spend our time spinning around on the ceiling, instead of doing what needs to be done.
Chinadoll
August 19 2005, 2:30PM
You know it bothers me that society is becoming so consumed with who is " supposedly" gay and totally forgetting that there is a MAJOR population of hetero sexual people. I am a member of Alpha Phi Alpha's sister sorority and I have noticed that much of the prejudice stems from many gay men who have or are attracted to men who are not gay, nor find an attraction, which makes for an awkward situation for a person who is clearly not interested in you as a lesbian/homosexual. I know there is an element of truth to their being gay men in all fraternities, but here lately more gay men think heterosexual men are interested in them. I have family members who were open-minded until the whole DL crazy started to test their manhood, nobody wants to be mistaken for anything than what they are.....bottom line is for the gay men, if you decide to become united with another gay man, a very simple question, how will you reproduce? IF the amount is so great of men on the DL and all DL people come out and decide to be honest about their sexuality, less and less heterosexual relationships will take place which means less and less African American children will be created.....Just a concern.
OW
August 19 2005, 10:54PM
It is amazing how satire and parody can be considered as anything other than just that. This "homophobic" piece is no different that other items that have supposedly outed members of other BGLO's.
Taken at face value it's comedy. As many know comedy hurts and heals. Hopefully it causes more of the latter....or at least dialogue.
Finally, perhaps the issue may not be so much one of "homophobia" among members of BGLO's as it might be one of honesty. When a person pledges (or now joins via intake) there is a bond of trust and loyalty that is formed - or at least a semblance of such. Knowing this, perhaps it better to be honest about who one is prior to joining. Especially since it is understood that a certain sentiment may arise from a situation of mistrust or deceit.
In short, is it okay to join under a certain pretext only to possibly experience what one might have felt certain to was come after "coming out"? Is this not the reason that one might stay closeted from the outset - fear of being shunned, talked about or discriminated against?
Peace.
ellecia
August 27 2005, 9:22PM
First and foremost, I want to give much love to all my bruhs of A phi A.....skeeeee.weeeeee
It has saddened me over the last two weeks to hear these rumors. I first want to say that I do not agree with the lifestyle of homosexuality, because of my spiriritual believes. But on the other hand my Bible has not taught me to hate people. But I want everyone to think....No one is perfect and we all have issues, flaws, "sins" .
Those of you who are against this whole homosexual lifestyle just think......Did you or are you having sex before marriage. Alot of people would fall short in that area....because pre marital sex is not accepted in the Bible.
As a African American Female(2 strikes) I cannot fathom the idea of discriminating against another person. Our forefathers have fought and we are still fighting for equality and we still find a way to divide ourselves. Although it is human nature to judge....we should learn from our history. Each and every person has their motives for joining a greek organization.I know greeks who join for popularity, wear the colors, and social priveleges. Those few things are not what any of our greek organizations were founded on. We should base our intake process on the right things,,not what someone does behind his/her closed doors. i am empathetic towards those bruhs and sistas who had to hide a part of themselves with those in their organization just to be accepted.For so many years, we as black people struggled and tried so hard to "pass". So the whites would accept us. Its a cliche....but do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
To my DL brothas......be real with yourself, loveones, and especially us black sistas.
just a note homosexuality is in every greek organization.
thanks
Liquid Fonts
August 30 2005, 8:52PM
ELLECIA,
As a black gay student, I must say that a gay person's lifestyle is largely dependent on that individual's dreams desires abilites, achievements etc and those are as multitude as any heterosexuals' so im curious as to which specific homosexual lifestyles do you not agree with.
The point is that you, like many others, erroneously associate gay men ONLY with what we might possibly be doing in bed with another man, our " man-on-man sex potential" you seem to think gay man and then you think anal sex etc.. and you know what ? thats bullshit to use religiosity to objectify a persons sexual behavior shinning a spot light only on it.
SEXUALITY is but a part, arguably a very important part sure,of the totally person and most people I know arent having sex all day or even part of each day so to define and thus conspire to limit someones life chances to that of some stereotypical street fag simply due to a MAN's interpretation of the bible that is then spoon fed to the masses is ultimately immoral and unethical because while you and people like you are slowing coming to see the light, people are dying in real time. Ignorance is lethal Which is why I've filed Fall-Back papers against you my dear. I dont agree with your opinions but i still accept you.
A True challenge for the Black community would be to learn about the diversity of black gay folks through the eyes and the lives of actual 3 dememsional gay and lesbian and bisexual and transgendered peoples of color and not religous dogma.
To Know Us Is To Love Us!
Peace