What Jada Didn't Say
By Keith Boykin, in sexuality
Friday, March 4 2005, 2:51PM
Some students at Harvard were outraged this week after actress Jada Pinkett Smith came to campus to receive an award. Smith was criticized by leaders of the Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, and Supporters Alliance (BGLTSA) for comments she made that were perceived to be "heteronormative." So what exactly did she say?
"Women, you can have it all - a loving man, devoted husband, loving children, a fabulous career. They say you gotta choose. Nah, nah, nah. We are a new generation of women. We got to set a new standard of rules around here. You can do whatever it is you want. All you have to do is want it.''
What's going on here? Is there something wrong with what she said?
Dennis Miller asked me about Smith's comments last night on his show. Harvard is an easy target for conservatives who want to criticize what they perceive to be left-wing political correctness. But this story is not about the academy imposing its intellectual will on the oppressed. This is a story about a group of well-intentioned but misguided young people who seem to have more book sense than common sense.
Yes, it probably is heteronormative to talk about heterosexual relationships without mentioning homosexual and bisexual relationships. But then again, heterosexuality is the norm in our culture. As far as I know, most people are heterosexual. That doesn't make them any better or worse than anyone else; it's just the way things are.
The problem is we have to be careful to distinguish between the descriptive and the prescriptive. Smith's comments seem more descriptive than prescriptive. In other words, she is describing her own reality instead of prescribing it for everyone else. It doesn't sound like she was insisting that women should live a certain lifestyle. In fact, she says specifically, "You can do whatever it is you want." Jada’s message was designed to empower women, not to oppress gays.
Descriptively speaking, we live in a racist, sexist, classist, misogynist, homophobic, heterosexist, culturally imperialistic society. Prescriptively speaking, Jada sounds like she is just as concerned about those issues as anyone else.
This whole issue might have been resolved better if the students had simply asked her a question at the event instead of criticizing her after the fact. But again, these are students, not faculty members or administrators. Because of their youth and their education, they may be more sensitive to heterosexism than the rest of us are.
Perhaps this issue also reflects the often uneasy relationship between blacks and gays on many college campuses. I travel to dozens of colleges each year, and I find the same problem almost everywhere. The gay student groups are struggling to recruit people of color to participate, the people of color student groups are often hesitant to include gay issues in their agendas, and gay students of color are frequently caught in the middle.
The group that put on the Jada Pinkett Smith event -- the Harvard Foundation for Intercultural and Race Relations -- was criticized this week by some members of the BGLTSA for Smith's comments. But not long before, BGLTSA had also been criticized when it applied for membership in the Foundation.
This mini-controversy hardly deserves national recognition, but conservatives love these inter-group conflicts because they provide an opportunity to drive a wedge between the squabbling groups and to reveal the sanctimony of the left.
Either way, it seems to me that Jada Pinkett Smith is an ally, and we can't afford to alienate our allies without trying to educate them first.
Comments conceal
Jaun Mosby
March 4 2005, 3:43PM
Keith-
Your levelheadedness is just what's needed in this world of ultra-conservatism and liberalism.
Every comment is perceived as a slight and this was just not the case with Mrs. Pinkett-Smith.
Jada was merely going from her own reality as a career woman, wife and mother.
It is really sad that people are so sensitive nowadays that they can't seem to see their own insensitivity towards others.
As a gay person, it insults me that some gay activists would make an issue of this.
I've heard far worst things said against gays like that fool Fred Phelps and we just add fuel to the fire when we react like a bunch of thin-skinned drama queens and kings.
Preach on, Keith!!!
Stanley L. Walker
March 4 2005, 4:31PM
Hmmm. Jada Pinkett Smith is married to Will Smith and speaking from her own personal experience where career, relationship, and family are concerned. Uh, I'm going to have to go with "there's nothing wrong with what she said" for $2,000, Alex.
And I think she sent the right message to those women and she has the right idea when she says:
"We are a new generation of women. We got to set a new standard of rules around here. You can do whatever it is you want. All you have to do is want it."
Exactly.
jaymillionaire
March 5 2005, 2:30AM
Keith,
I had to read the passage several times in order to understand exactly what the controversy is...and I still don't know.
In real news-- more than 100,000 Iraqi's have DIED during the occupation of their country.
Guess Who??
March 5 2005, 2:38AM
Very good article...until I read the end which I am disappointed. Could it be students need to separate their personal life from academic and professional life? I always tell my students, "I have no interest in knowing you, your husband or wife and children. I am here to educate, that is all." We have to use wisdom in knowing when to separate sectors of our life and when to bring them all together. In example, if you are going for emergency surgery, you don't want the doctor leaving the surgery room seeing about his bank account because of a bounced check and you are about to die, would you??
Doug
March 5 2005, 11:52AM
Keith, saw u on Dennis Miller's show. It was obvious Dennis was trying to use the incident to show how ludicrous those of us who have more liberal views can be; but u handled it well. I agree with u. Jada's speech sounded more inclusive than exclusive. Did she sound heteronormative? Yes, but I'm sure when many of the people with whom the students come into contact with on a daily basis(i.e. mostly white)speak in a more 'euronormative' context, they are not so quick to yell racism.
D. Michele Vicari
March 6 2005, 5:48PM
I read Jada's statement - then read the "What She Didn't Say..." three times looking for the problem. It evaded me too on the first pass. Here's where I am. First, I'm a triple Libra for those who care (notice it is not at the expense of mentioning those that DO care). Therein lies the problem. Some people take issues to levels within them, they lose sight of those times when we, in American don't HAVE to genericize ALL the components of our American lives in order to display to the world our wholeness. Had Jada said it a la "generic-speak," she might have said:
"HUMANKIND, you can have it all - a loving spouse (GENDER OF YOUR CHOICE), devoted spouse (GENDER OF YOUR CHOICE), loving children (GENDER AND NUMBER OF YOUR CHOICE), a fabulous career. They say you gotta choose. Nah, nah, nah. We are a new generation of HUMANKIND. We got to set a new standard of rules around here. You can do whatever it is you want. All you have to do is want it."
Jada said it just fine. You see how ridiculous this becomes when you read what I did. There is no need to change her thought and what she said. Being gay is not the layer of me people see first - nor is the father layer that I am. Nor the Artist/Photographer layer that is also me, and so on and so on.
Jada spoke her truth from a woman's point of view. The strength of it is just that and apparent to those who don't single-issue their existence and, therefore, their criticisms when things don't go their way on life's happenings and quotes.
She isn't responsible for appeasing the pain from perceived trodden feelings of omission by those who accuse her. instead, they should look very closely at their own "expectations of life" to find aberrant causes for their own pain.
Jazzi
March 6 2005, 6:45PM
Some people are so "sensitive & political" that they often miss the point. So what if Jada didn't specifically mention gays & lesbians in her speech. Is that supposed to make her homophobic? As was already stated, Jada is speaking from her own reality which, by the way, is very "heteronormative". She shouldn't feel compelled to give a shout out to the gay community in the name of political correctness. If she were gay & did not acknowledge the straight community, the winers & complainers would not have said anything. Get off the soap box, brethren. Stop picking fights & starting wars where there is no need for one.
Minna
March 6 2005, 8:42PM
I feel bad for Jada Pinkett Smith. She went there for a happy occasion and this is what follows. So unnecessary. Her and her husband have always come across as very intelligent and caring people. I would never think otherwise without great reservations. I'm glad the views are put right here.
estephan
March 7 2005, 3:25AM
hello i would like to add something about gay lesbian straight bi or whatever i think we are all humans and we have to follow the evolution of the world so if the rasist start again with discremination we have an other hilter again.
i think in the life we can not go back but move forward that the principal natural human skills for life.so are we going to grow up or stay and looking on the old fashion .
sorry my english is not the best but it's what if think.so if in usa mr Bush start to kill and discriminate gay or lesbian where we going again to the past .
with al my respect
estephan
Romulus Burnett
March 7 2005, 8:55AM
I would like to quote, from this article, what I feel is a very important point of this entire situation: "This whole issue might have been resolved better if the students had simply asked her a question at the event instead of criticizing her after the fact." We are a society that has grown into a people that have made a pastime into placing the blame on someone else--passing the buck and making up excuses, yet, we are a society that is always wanting to be entertained and praised.
We have also grown into a society that rewards it's citizens who are criminal minded, racist, sexist, classist, misogynist, homophobic, heterosexist, materialistic and consumer oriented, yet, we look down upon people that maintain what used to be considered upstanding morals and beliefs, as what Jada expressed. It's a sad day in America, to say the least when an ex-convict can serve his or her time in prison and come out more of a hero and financially secure than a person, like a teacher, that can work hard for 30 years and never recieve any significant recognition or the proper financial compensation.
Monika Brooks
March 7 2005, 12:01PM
Good stuff. Thanks for the info/
Monika Brooks
Oakland, CA
alicia
March 7 2005, 6:44PM
i truly believe that jada and will are both bi
soulmates
and that she was only speaking to her audience...as all good speakers do
it was cool
peace
ab
Kristin Patterson
March 7 2005, 11:26PM
What is the point of being liberal? Often times, I see members of the community trying to assert political correctness into every speech, dialogue, interview, and article in order to satisfy the liberalist belief of inclusion. This incident is a prime example of my concerns with the liberal community. These Harvard students were only required to listen to her acceptance speech and simply ask a question if they were concerned about her views towards the gay community.More importantly, she strikes me as the type of woman (e.g. independent, intelligent, assertive, open-minded) who would be in support of the gay community. Nevertheless her world is that of the heteronormative, and to misconstrue her words and create an unnecesary division among our allies, further illustrates to conservatives that we are not a united front.
Romulus Burnett
March 8 2005, 9:08AM
This is just my personal opinion but with all this racial, social, and cultural diversity going on in this country, as well as freedom of speech being a part of an American citizen's inaliable rights, it seems that this country is becoming more of a communist nation instead of a nation of freedom.
You open your mouth in public, before the media, and you're going to offend someone, somewhere, some way, somehow. First, there's the problem of forcing North America to be culturally sensitive to incoming foreigners, now we have to be socially sensitive towards gays and lesbians? I'm not homophobic nor am I against gays, lesbians or foreigners, however, what I am against is having my own rights imposed upon by certain groups.
What Jada said was not offensive in any way, and she, nor should anyone else for that matter, feel the need to acknowledge every social group in this country when they are making statements that are true to themselves.
If you really want to put under a microscope what Jada said, her words could have just as easily been misconscrued as sexist, and I quote: "Women, you can have it all - a loving man, devoted husband..." I'm pretty sure the powers that be in the organization of NOW would have been infuriated at the fact that Jada felt that she expressed to a body of people that a woman needs 'a loving man, devoted husband' as part of 'having it all' but did the feminist organization, or any feminist sympathizers for that matter, criticize her for that statement?
Should animal rights activists be infuriated because Jada didn't plug the spaying and nuturing of pets like Bob Barker does at the end of his game show, The Price is Right? Should the hispanic population be infuriated because Jada didn't say anything about hispanics? If there is anyone that needs to be criticized, it should be the leaders of the Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, and Supporters Alliance, for being so self-centered, short-sighted, insensitive and narrow-minded.
First of all, Jada was not invited by the BGLTSA to speak at Harvard, they were invited by the Harvard Foundation for Intercultural and Race Relations, so they shouldn't have anything to say on the matter. Secondly, this country will always be a heterosexual country that will be run largely by heterosexuals. To demand that people address gays and lesbians in their speeches is preposterous, to say the least.
patrick
March 9 2005, 12:51AM
I haven't been motivated to respond to articles such as this in quite a long time, but I was out done at this one! This reminds me of a time-honored quote from my grandmother," People have nothing better to do than put their 2 cents in where they don't belong!" I cannot believe that people actually thought that long and hard (or maybe they didn't think at all and that is the problem!) about someone else's reality. This was this wonderful woman's depiction of her life and what she imagines is having it all in this complicated and still male-dominated society. Where this group came up with viewing her comment as being a slight or "too heterocentric", is beyond me. I just don't get it. I think with so much of the effective, focused, and revolutionary work done by pioneers of civil rights activism behind us, the new generation of activists, politcos, people with nothing better to do( obvious sarcasm) are at a loss as to what to analyze and fight for/aginst. It seems to have been like, " HEY, LET'S MAKE UP AN AGENDA TODAY AND POST IT IN THE NATIONAL NEWS BEACUSE WE THINK THAT...WE BELIEVE THAT....WELL, WE BELIEVE SOMETHING BUT WE JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS RIGHT NOW SO LET'S SAY OUR FEELINGS ARE HURT AND BLAME IT ON THE NEXT SPEAKER THAT SHOWS UP ON THE STAGE!" Well, enough has been said about this non-subject. Kudos to Jada for being recognized by a prestigious institution and having it all.
Jamoka
March 10 2005, 6:59AM
I believe in what Jada Pinkett Smith said "You can do whatever it is you want. All you have to do is want it." so much that I put a copy of that quote on my copy of Girlfriends (issue 1999)a "Lesbian,Politics, and Entertainment magazine, inwhich "JADE" is on the cover.
Zaion
March 11 2005, 1:48AM
Why does anyone care what she said...if it didnt pertain to you then keep your tongue still. Grown folks can be so ignorant or so stupid at times...Grow up.
Japer
March 13 2005, 10:08PM
First of all Keith, you should know by know that of all conservatives, especially that slick, tricky Dennis Miller, do in deed like to cause rifts amongst any minority or liberal. I stopped viewing his show long ago, when I discovered he uses a lot of deceit in in interviews and his guest seem to let him get away with it. Bt the way, will that show be airing again. I may lower my standards and watch that one only.
Mrs. Gumphrey
March 16 2005, 10:07AM
Goodness gracious Keith. Well it certainly seems that haters abound. Children like this "Romulus" and others insist on practicing their rabid, frothing comps for the Salient. I would say pay them no mind, but unfortunately we must reckon with the forces of bitter and chosen ignorance.
What they should know is this: Cultural Rhythms is a program dedicated to showcasing diversity on the campus, thus the entire point is to be inclusive and yes, diverse. I personally don't slight Ms. Pinkett for her comments. She's just a soul whose intentions were good. Believe me when I say grandmothers can conjure a lot worse.
Keith, you are indeed fierce. Keep up the wonderful work.
And as a PS, I was once one of those "caught in the middle." The truth is, there is no middle to be caught in. People of color are coming around to the realization that there are queer people in their communities, and vice versa. Old news. The new news: there is currently a project in the works that deserves the attention and support of ALL our communities. More information is available at:
WWW.SAKIAGUNNFILMPROJECT.COM
Bless,
Gumphrey
Chris
March 17 2005, 5:26AM
Having heard from the fore the issues at hand dealing with Jada's speech, I feel the need to assert a different view. I do not feel that the Harvard BGLTSA was not criticizing Jada in the way that people see. What happened was that over the BGLTSA e-mail list, there was a discussion of her speech being heteronormative. The Crimson, Harvard's paper then spun this as if the BGLTSA had a huge problem with Jada which later ended up in the New York Times. The quotes were taken out of context and if you read the article written in the crimson, which i suggest you do, then you will see that it was one of the most poorly written articles ever and had nothing substantive in it. This was further shown when the head of the BGLTSA went on the O'Reilly Factor to defend the organization and spoke to the fact that she thought Jada's speech was empowering and nuanced, which by the way received almost no coverage besides the fact that she was berated by Bill O'Reilly (I would also suggest trying to find a transcript of that segment).
I would also just add that I do not think it is wrong to call for less heteronormative speech. I think a large part of the reason that violence (physical, emotional, psychological, and political) continues to be enacted upon the lgbt community, especially the black community, is that we continue to allow ourselves to be silenced and made invisible. Only through asserting ourselves as a segment of the population can we receive the rights and freedom we, and all, deserve.
thanks,
chris
Darius
March 18 2005, 4:13PM
With all this talk about who's right who's wrong can we truly say, who is? If what is true from the reply made by Chris then all this attention should be brought to the New York Times about their source of information. A top news man was ousted for his misinformation about a nation leader. Shouldn't New York Times come under the same scrutiny as did he? Was he not considered the "media" which has the freedom of speech? But I guess that only applies when your initials do not begin GWB.
Why don't these organizations use their "right" and demand New York Times delivery the right information and not a version of it, if they are the reason this story has gained so much attention.
Romulus Burnett
March 28 2005, 11:53AM
Firstly, I was under the impression that the discussion was about the issue of what Jada Pinkett said, not what my opinion is on the subject.
It certainly seems to me that this, "Gumphrey" person, in his/her attempt to express his/her pseudo-intellectual opinion has, herself/himself, indeed revealed his/her own childishness, narrow-mindedness, and unwarranted disrespect.
I fell to understand what or whom I am supposed to be "hating" on when I was mearly expressing my opinion of the preposterous reaction by the Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, and Supporters Alliance (BGLTSA), to Jada's sincere and purposeful speech.
It would indeed be "childish" if I singled out one person, out of all the other comments made, that apparently were in favor of Jada, because the comments made didn't necessarily coincide with his/her own. I would indeed be a "hater" if I chose to take a complete stranger's opinion personally, to the point of devoting my comments to inadvertently slander someone without reason.
One thing I do believe in is FREEDOM OF SPEECH, which is not only what I was expressing but what Jada was expressing from her point of view, which, in my opinion was made in good taste. Jada had the complete and utter RIGHT to express herself from her HETEROSEXUAL point of view.
What I will irrefutably hate on, is this "Gumphrey" person's tacky and shameless action to plug his/her website with such a triffling, selfish, and self-centered intent. Keep up the good work, Keith.