A Kiss Is Still A Kiss
By Keith Boykin, in sexuality
Wednesday, October 22 2003, 9:55AM
Mark Twain once said, “a lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” In the age of the Internet, that cliché is more true than ever. Urban legends have spread like wildfire across the world wide web, but many of them just aren't true. Tommy Hilfiger did not go on Oprah's show and diss black people. African Americans are not going to lose their right to vote in 2007. And Beyonce Knowles is not a rabid hypocritical homophobe. With so many rumors out there, it's worth asking one important question. Why do we believe them?
Gays and lesbians were stunned last week by news reports that recording artist Beyonce said she disapproved of lesbian affection. In an interview with the London Sun, the pop diva reportedly said she was shocked by the on stage kiss between Britney Spears, Madonna and Christina Aguilera at the August MTV Video Music Awards.
"I have standards. There are things I will not do," the singer reportedly said. Beyonce knew about the kiss from rehearsal but she was still stunned to see it happen on stage, the paper said.
Newspaper accounts quickly contrasted her allegedly conservative views on homosexuality with her liberal views of her own sexual expression in her clothing. "I always carry myself like a lady. I don't feel like I ever do anything raunchy," she was quoted to say. When asked how she reconciled her Christianity with her performances, she said "it's entertainment and I believe God is OK with that," the Sun reported.
The LGBT community immediately took notice. That's the good news. It's about time we start to challenge homophobia in entertainment. Whether it comes from a pop diva, a hip hop artist, a rap star, or a rock star, bigotry is poisonous and survives off our complacency.
But in this case, the controversy was unwarranted. This story is more a critique of tabloid journalism than of a crossover music star. Under pressure from GLAAD and others, Beyonce explained her remarks on her website.
"I'd like to clarify any confusion over some quotes that were attributed to me totally out of context in a recent interview," she said on her site. "I have never judged anyone based on his or her sexual orientation and have no intention of starting now. I have a lot of gay and lesbian fans and I love them no differently than my straight fans."
Now Beyonce is threatening to sue The Sun over the misprint. Beyonce's manager, her father Matthew Knowles, expressed regret about the interview. According to several media accounts, he said he never wanted his daughter to interview with the tabloid paper anyway.
He says the comments were taken from two separate interviews and pasted together to give the impression that Beyonce was homophobic. He added that Beyonce had actually said: "I would never do that, but I thought it was a great performance."
That makes sense. Beyonce has every right not to do certain things on stage, but at least she understands the importance of respecting her fan base. The whole issue raises the question of when we should be offended and what we should do about it.
Recording artists Brand Nubian, Canibus, Common, Cypress Hill, DMX, Eazy E, Eminem, Goodie Mob, Allen Iverson, Ice Cube, Ja Rule, Jay Z, Mase, Mobb Deep, Public Enemy, Snoop Dogg, T.O.K. and 50 Cent have all recorded homophobic music in the past. Some like Common and 50 Cent seem to have moved away from the homophobia for now, but others are still pumping out new homophobic tunes like DMX's "Where the Hood At?"
And it doesn't stop with the hardcore artists. Missy Elliot is now working with homophobic Jamaican dance hall star Elephant Man on a single “This Is Not A Test” for her new CD. R&B recording artist Jaheim caused a scene on New York's Hot 97 radio last summer when host Jimmy Marr asked if the singer was gay. Jaheim reportedly became infuriated, asked Marr the same question and then began destroying microphones and equipment in the studio.
Maybe one reason why artists continue to straddle the line of homophobia is because their LGBT fans and supporters don't stand up and represent themselves. Maybe if the gay stylists, makeup artists, promoters, publicists, agents, DJs and fans said something about the homophobic artists and their work, the artists would get the message and move on.
Then there's the question of why we assume so many artists are homophobic. Maybe we believe the rumors so quickly because we're so used to hearing disparaging remarks about us. Maybe we believe the rumors because we don't think highly of ourselves. And then maybe many artists actually are homophobic, but we know we're not challenging them on it.
Since the Internet helps to generate so many of these stories, lets use the Internet to fight back. The next time we hear about an artist making homophobic comments, let's handle it a little differently. For every batch of forwarded emails we send to our friends about the incident, lets also send an email to the artist to get an explanation. Next time let them know we exist.
Comments conceal
Oreily Dames
October 22 2003, 12:09PM
Mr. Boykin:
Those six words that we have heard all our lives -"the truth shall set you free," ring ever so loudly today. Further, Donna Summer used to say that, "trying to undo a rumor is like trying to unring a bell." Quotes aside, we must not be blinded by personal behavior in the actions of our artists and athletes to being accused of being gay - i.e. Jaheim. People confortable with their sexaulity don't outburst in anger to the accusation, it is merely an accusation. And if untrue, the truth shall set them free. In your words, you questioned all around these individuals in the spotlight because of their homo- views (agents, DJs, etc.). What about the question to their very own sexual orientations. Thsee indiduals may very well be crying out with their battles with their own sexual orientations. Why, because their very lives our public and that is their listening audience, the only ones who will listen. These problem goes much deeper, in a sense it is a mental suicide. These individuals are hating what is inside themselves and they are using what they know to dismantle it - or they think? Every Sunday in Black America, a gay preacher stands up before his or her congregation in an established church body and belts out the tired ole "Sodom and Gomorrah" bit. They preach to the homo- and tells them they are going to hell, yet they are gay themselves. What are they doing? They are preaching to themselves, they are bringing their private battle, public. They are punishing themselves, nothing more than what the artist or athlete does. They hate this thing about themselves, they want it gone. And they have no one to turn to for help. They are estranged to God because, he can not possible love them, the preacher say so, " the bible tell me so." Our mission should be to build up the inviduals who feel that they are unworthy of God. Those who have gone suicidal with their behavior because they can't stop being gay. I do agree with you that we must confront this madness, however, we must not be afraif to intepret what is that may be going on. This is the battle royal of the Black Gay Community. We can not fight this battle in our closets, on our knees.
By the way Kieth, How is John K.?
Don Jones
October 22 2003, 4:01PM
Keith,
Your article was "right on time" since I recently got that same email re: Tommy Hilfiger. Unaware that the rumor had been festering for 9-10 years,
I remember when I was in Atlanta for Gay Pride, a few years ago, and that rumor was circulating then by a friend. I agree, we should confront the artist, when homophobic statements appear on their records and speeches. However, due to the popularity of gangster rap and the proliferation
of hatred toward gays, I don't think it will do any good. Many Black males don't want to face the
fact that they in any way are perceived as Gay, or
can accept the Gay lifestyle.Just look at the firestorm generated by the recent opening of the Harvey Milk High School in New York. Until gay ministers, as the former article stated, and others in the rap community(i.e. Puff Daddy, Russell Simmons, etc) come out in full force to ban those type of lyrics, will anything happen.
Don Jones
Pinole, California
Oreily Dames
October 22 2003, 8:55PM
Mr. Jones:
Coming out the closet is out of the question. These individuals are hurting more than you and I could even imagine. They fade to the "normal" because it is safe. Grown folks in many cases tend to fall back into that familiar childhood state, when they began to fear. It takes strength and courage to face yourself and that which you are. Homosexuality is difficult alone in private. What about when you are constantly in the public eye. I know that my own battle of self-hate took atleast 2 years. And today, I continue to struggle with my self-realization and dispelling the mythes about my life, lifestyle and final destination, once this life has faded and I have given up the ghost. This battle royal that each one must go through will be long and hard. Coming out to the world is one thing, but many have trouble coming out to their family and friends. When I hear the likes of DMX, 50 cent and MM hating on homosexuals, I see it as them somewhat struggling with their very own sexualities and hating that which exist within themselves. When I hear the preacher dwelling on this subject, I figure as well that this is their struggle and they are battling it out Sunday to Sunday in the pulpit, yet they do not realize those you have gotten caught up in the crossfire. I guess what I am saying here is that the focus has to be on the health - of the regular jane and joe, who battles with this inside daily and cannot find a place to turn, cannot not find help fast enough, who could very well be faced with the Phillis Hyman Sydrome, if no help comes. Our men and women who struggle with their sexual indentity need to be able to see a future for themselves, they need to be able to form healthy relationships with others and not self-destruct through continous one night stands - hell, park and bathroom encounters, feeling a false sense of love for the moment, only to cum down and find disgust about themselves. We cannot afford to divert our energies away from the invidual, standing in need. Yes, we must respond to some hot ticket items in the press, but not all. We have to choose are battles wisely. And sometimes we cannot respond to the sexual struggles of a DMX or Jaheim.
nOva
October 22 2003, 11:51PM
It's true we cannot believe everything we hear. I think something similar happened with Alicia Keys last year in Atlanta (?). And Missy isn't the only one with a gay fanbase working with obviously homophobic reggae artists. Janet and Mya both did songs with Beanie Man we love these girls. Whatever the case, it seems as though as long as the artist doesn't make (and I mean mean "say" not sing or rap in their songs) disparaging remarks about gays in interviews or otherwise, then no one really cares as long as the music is hot. That's something to think about...
Wanda
October 23 2003, 10:47PM
Thank you Mr. Boykin. I almost ran with the article a friend sent me from the London Sun. Sometimes, the white gay community can be too quick to take something and twist it into what they desire in order to destroy a gifted, young black star. This article saved the image I originally had of Beyonce Knowles. A true artist appreciates all fans from all walks of life.
Sanford Gaylord
October 25 2003, 3:30PM
You're so on point Keith! Sometimes we need to look within. Thanks for the food for thought, reflection and action
Eva Young
October 28 2003, 5:24PM
Good column, Keith. On this:
Since the Internet helps to generate so many of these stories, lets use the Internet to fight back. The next time we hear about an artist making homophobic comments, let's handle it a little differently. For every batch of forwarded emails we send to our friends about the incident, lets also send an email to the artist to get an explanation. Next time let them know we exist.
EY: Also, take the time to once you get the contact information for the star, forward that - along with your letter to others on your email list to get your friends to also write the person.
In general we should do less preaching to the converted, and more sharing with those on the middle.
Eva
Carsey
January 7 2004, 9:50PM
man beyonce is pregnant she had got an abortion I heard she was pregnant by heavy d
McCargo Janine
January 20 2004, 1:12AM
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.
Posniak Beth
March 17 2004, 7:15PM
You know what's interesting about Washington? It's the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature.
CORTNI SMITH
March 25 2004, 6:10PM
FIRST OF ALL, BEYONCE IS NOT HAVING A BABY. WHAT ARE YOUUUUUUUU TALKIN ABOUT? ALL YALL NEED TO STOP HATTIN ON HER AND LET HER DO HER OWN THING. SHE IS THE BEST SINGER IN THE WORLD IF YOU ASK ME. SO DON'T DIS HER LIKE SHE AIN'T SHIT. PLEASE.
CORTNI SMITH
Shawn
April 6 2004, 12:48AM
People kill me trying to make themselves holier than thou. If she (Beyounce)is so Christian like then why all the booty shaking and the nasty videos. She should have kept her mouth shut cracking on Madonna, Britney and Christina. Don't be the pot callin the kettle black. And back off Cortni, people have the right to their own opinions. What has Beyounce done for you? You will be on to someone else and dissing her yourself in about 4-6 more months.
Spivack Nova
May 2 2004, 1:56PM
I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them.
Sciortino Paul
May 3 2004, 3:08AM
The function of the artist is to provide what life does not.
Pekar Kara Sherwood
May 20 2004, 4:23AM
To be poor without bitterness is easy; to be rich without arrogance is hard.
Heiner Paul
June 2 2004, 11:18PM
Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.
Tritter Michael
June 30 2004, 8:41AM
Any certainty is a delusion.