Minnesota Irony
By Keith Boykin, in politics
Friday, September 19 2003, 11:39AM
So I'm in Minnesota right now, working on the slowest computer known to man, and I've just stumbled on a story from today's Washington Blade. Last night I gave a speech discussing whether gay marriage should be a defining issue for the LGBT community. This morning, I'm sitting in the lounge of the University of Minnesota Law School, and I read an article from the Blade that a gay Republican professor at this very law school is criticizing a gay leader for not addressing this issue. What irony.
This computer is way too slow for me to write out everything I wanted to say, so instead I'm going to quote liberally from today's Washington Blade:
"Some gay activists are criticizing National Gay & Lesbian Task Force Executive Director Matt Foreman’s failure to address gay marriage during his recent speech at a rally commemorating the 40th anniversary of the March on Washington. Some believe that Foreman did not address the issue because black church leaders remain largely hostile to gay marriage rights.
Foreman has been an outspoken critic of the proposed Federal Marriage Amendment. In a recent Philadelphia Gay News op-ed, Foreman wrote that it is important to “speak openly and directly to our families, friends, neighbors and co-workers” about the issue of gay marriage.
But critics contend that Foreman’s speech at the rally amounted to innocuous platitudes about diversity.
“It is very suspicious that Foreman appears at the march and did not even address the single most important issue to gay Americans and that is same-sex marriage,” said Dale Carpenter, a gay Republican activist and associate professor of law at the University of Minnesota. “He very well may have been deferring to the [African-American] community which, in various polls, shows a major lack of support for gay marriage.” Carpenter testified last week before a Senate subcommittee about the gay marriage issue.
“I don’t really have a comment,” Foreman said in response to the criticism. “It’s not my policy to engage in horizontal hostilities. We have other enemies to fight.”"
Okay, that's the end of the quote.
The irony here is that the Republicans are the very ones who oppose gay marriage in the first place. The irony is that the LGBT community is not settled on the issue of gay marriage. The irony is that Carpenter seems to impose a greater burden on LGBT leaders to confront the black community than to confront other communities. Why is that?
At my speech last night, it was very clear that the LGBT community is still divided about same-sex marriage. While no one agrees with the idea of discrimination, some in the audience last night felt we should not be validating the oppressive institution of marriage by buying into it as gays and lesbians. That's a good point. It's not necessarily my view, but it's a good point.
The truth is we will never all agree on any issue. We are not a monolithic community. But maybe we can agree on this. We don't all have to do the same thing or fight the same battle, but we can all do something.
If gay marriage is not your issue, don't sweat it. It's an issue for others. Maybe coming out is more important to you. Maybe it's more important to work on employment discrimination. Whatever the issue, just be involved.
Just do something....Now I've got to go track down a certain law professor in this building.
I'll write more when I get back to New York.
Comments conceal
ROBERT FERGUSON
September 19 2003, 12:31PM
Thank You Kieth,
I race to this page everyday because it is the premier spot to share, recieve, and exchange information with like minded individuals. Your articles are always poignant and timely! I agree 100% that same sex marriage isnt everyones battle, but I believe we all have a vested interest in having our commitments recognized by a government that puts so much emphasis on the stability and security of union between two people. As Black gay men I believe we need a unifying political agenda and certainly a portion of that agenda should be to promote open discussions within the community and churches about the prevalence of black men in our institutions that are gay but wont discuss it openly because we have been taught since infancy that to be anything other than heterosexual is a damnable sin against God and an afront to the black population! The reason that the public face of gay-america is Will Truman and his nelly friend Jack is because we are living in our collective closets, afraid to stand up to our families, churches, employers and neighbors and talk openly and honestly about who we are......really!Matt Foreman was afraid to talk about what we are all afraid to talk about. Black folks are the church, it is the single thing that our parents and grandparents had to hold on to. It is lodged in our dna to respect the religious principles taught to us as babies.We cannot speak against it. But we must. The AIDS death rates should be enough, the countless atrocities that befall our black brothers and sisters should be reason enough. Somehow we have to start having dialogue. Gay marriage should be important to all of us, not just for the sake of that particular issue, but because talking about anything is better than no dialogue at all! Brothers just talk about something other than booty and the club. Have a political opinion. Read a newspaper. Engage someone in a debate. Choose a side "Stand for something or you will fall for anything."
who said that?
ROBERT FERGUSON
September 19 2003, 12:34PM
Thank You Kieth,
I race to this page everyday because it is the premier spot to share, recieve, and exchange information with like minded individuals. Your articles are always poignant and timely! I agree 100% that same sex marriage isnt everyones battle, but I believe we all have a vested interest in having our commitments recognized by a government that puts so much emphasis on the stability and security of union between two people. As Black gay men I believe we need a unifying political agenda and certainly a portion of that agenda should be to promote open discussions within the community and churches about the prevalence of black men in our institutions that are gay but wont discuss it openly because we have been taught since infancy that to be anything other than heterosexual is a damnable sin against God and an afront to the black population! The reason that the public face of gay-america is Will Truman and his nelly friend Jack is because we are living in our collective closets, afraid to stand up to our families, churches, employers and neighbors and talk openly and honestly about who we are......really!Matt Foreman was afraid to talk about what we are all afraid to talk about. Black folks are the church, it is the single thing that our parents and grandparents had to hold on to. It is lodged in our dna to respect the religious principles taught to us as babies.We cannot speak against it. But we must. The AIDS death rates should be enough, the countless atrocities that befall our black brothers and sisters should be reason enough. Somehow we have to start having dialogue. Gay marriage should be important to all of us, not just for the sake of that particular issue, but because talking about anything is better than no dialogue at all! Brothers just talk about something other than booty and the club. Have a political opinion. Read a newspaper. Engage someone in a debate. Choose a side "Stand for something or you will fall for anything."
who said that?
Kola Boof
September 19 2003, 1:19PM
When straights oppose gay marriage--what they're really saying is that "gay love isn't equal to their love...THEIR LOVE...being "human" love...and gay love being deviant, ill behavior."
It's the same when you see all these American movies where black love (between two chocolate skinned authentic black people) is almost NEVER shown. The dominant culture only allowing black love to be "validated" by the presence a black partner who looks INFUSED with a great deal of whiteness or with a Non-black partner all together (ever notice in GAY literature/movies--they always "humanize" the black one by pairing him/her with WHITE validation?). In other words--the visual message presented is ALWAYS that blackness on its own is not equal to whiteness on its own. Same for "gayness" not being allowed to be represented as just as NORMAL as straightness.
THE ANSWER IS...."yes"....gay marriage is the measuring stick, obviously, as to whether or not people really support gay freedom in itself.
Be wary of the naked man who offers you the shirt off his back.
Straights who claim to accept you--but then wouldn't come to your gay wedding or would vote against you having the right to express your love (which is no different than THEIR love)---DO NOT ACCEPT YOU.
Kola Boof
September 19 2003, 1:20PM
When straights oppose gay marriage--what they're really saying is that "gay love isn't equal to their love...THEIR LOVE...being "human" love...and gay love being deviant, ill behavior."
It's the same when you see all these American movies where black love (between two chocolate skinned authentic black people) is almost NEVER shown. The dominant culture only allowing black love to be "validated" by the presence a black partner who looks INFUSED with a great deal of whiteness or with a Non-black partner all together (ever notice in GAY literature/movies--they always "humanize" the black one by pairing him/her with WHITE validation?). In other words--the visual message presented is ALWAYS that blackness on its own is not equal to whiteness on its own. Same for "gayness" not being allowed to be represented as just as NORMAL as straightness.
THE ANSWER IS...."yes"....gay marriage is the measuring stick, obviously, as to whether or not people really support gay freedom in itself.
Be wary of the naked man who offers you the shirt off his back.
Straights who claim to accept you--but then wouldn't come to your gay wedding or would vote against you having the right to express your love (which is no different than THEIR love)---DO NOT ACCEPT YOU.
Kola Boof
September 19 2003, 1:20PM
When straights oppose gay marriage--what they're really saying is that "gay love isn't equal to their love...THEIR LOVE...being "human" love...and gay love being deviant, ill behavior."
It's the same when you see all these American movies where black love (between two chocolate skinned authentic black people) is almost NEVER shown. The dominant culture only allowing black love to be "validated" by the presence a black partner who looks INFUSED with a great deal of whiteness or with a Non-black partner all together (ever notice in GAY literature/movies--they always "humanize" the black one by pairing him/her with WHITE validation?). In other words--the visual message presented is ALWAYS that blackness on its own is not equal to whiteness on its own. Same for "gayness" not being allowed to be represented as just as NORMAL as straightness.
THE ANSWER IS...."yes"....gay marriage is the measuring stick, obviously, as to whether or not people really support gay freedom in itself.
Be wary of the naked man who offers you the shirt off his back.
Straights who claim to accept you--but then wouldn't come to your gay wedding or would vote against you having the right to express your love (which is no different than THEIR love)---DO NOT ACCEPT YOU.
Kola Boof
September 19 2003, 4:14PM
When straights oppose gay marriage--what they're really saying is that "gay love isn't equal to their love...THEIR LOVE...being "human" love...and gay love being deviant, ill behavior."
It's the same when you see all these American movies where black love (between two chocolate skinned authentic black people) is almost NEVER shown as love--but animalistic sex. The dominant culture only allowing black love to be "validated" by the presence a black partner who looks INFUSED with a great deal of whiteness or with a Non-black partner all together (ever notice in GAY literature/movies--they always "humanize" the black one by pairing him/her with WHITE validation?).
In other words--the visual message presented is ALWAYS that blackness on its own is not equal to whiteness on its own. Same for "gayness" not being allowed to be represented as just as NORMAL as straightness.
THE ANSWER IS...."yes"....gay marriage is the measuring stick, obviously, as to whether or not people really support gay freedom in itself.
Be wary of the naked man who offers you the shirt off his back.
Straights who claim to accept you--but then wouldn't come to your gay wedding or would vote against you having the right to express your love (which is no different than THEIR love)---DO NOT ACCEPT YOU.
Just Kola's two cents.
Cederico
September 19 2003, 4:17PM
Have to disagree. Gay marriage is THE issue right now and its needs to be addressed. You might not care about it that much but the enemy does and they are pushing a constitutional amendment to make sure gay and lesbians (black, white, whatever) never have that right. If you aren't concerned then you should....before you even have the right it might be taken away.
There are other pressing issues of course but which one is the radical right pushing...gay marriage. And we don't have the luxury of sitting around saying "well I don't really care about this issue". If you don't at least fight for those gay and lesbian who do. If Massachusetts legalizes then we are gonna need every gay and lesbian to stand up and fight.
If this comes to be I personally am not likely to have much patience with those who want to sit around and argue whether gay marriage is a too establishment or "straight". And I'll have little patience for all those people cowering in the closet or on the "DL" who are to afraid to even say they like men.
If that time comes...its gonna be time to stand up and be counted.
Kola Boof
September 19 2003, 5:44PM
CEDERICO...
who are you disagreeing with? My post stated that gay marriage is the "measuring stick"--the single most important way to symbolize gay as normal.
I think Keith agrees as well.
Justin
September 19 2003, 10:19PM
Hey Keith, I am a student at the University of Minnesota and I just now became aware of your website and who you are a couple of days ago. And know I find out you're right here in Minnesota what a coincidence! I wish I could have attended your speech. I believe gay marriage is necessary for the GLBT, and I was wondering how long were you planning on staying here and if you are going to be speaking again. Love your website.
Justin
Michael
September 20 2003, 2:56AM
Keith,
This is my first post to your website dear friend. I have to disagree with you. Marriage is not every gay persons issue, but we should have the right to choose our happiness and our life circumstances like every other taxpaying American black or white. We deem our leaders spokespersons for our community and they have a responsibility to further our cause in every situation they represent us. Cowering to the black church is still cowering. And, as gay and lesbian people, we have done far too much of that.
christopher williams
September 20 2003, 2:51PM
I think the gay rights lobby needs to focus equal rights for all and not trying to define homosexuality in straight terms,by conforming to what is acceptable to them as 'noraml'Once this country agrees that equal rights are good for all of us and in republican terms'good for business' we'll all be better off!I think the repressed USA is a long way off from accepting phil&steve as a wholesome American reality yet.
Cederico
September 20 2003, 7:13PM
Kola
I hadn't read your comments before I posted. Seems like I was typing while you were probably doing the same. :)