Who's Gay and Who Cares?

By Keith Boykin, in music·sexuality
Tuesday, January 1 2002, 11:28AM

Originally posted on Gay.com

On my first visit to Los Angeles's famous "Rosco's Chicken and Waffles" restaurant, a Rolls Royce pulled up outside the door. Out walked R&B singer Luther Vandross, accompanied by a flamboyantly dressed man my lunch partner and I assumed to be gay. We also assumed Luther Vandross was gay.

For many in the black community, Luther Vandross' sexual orientation has been an open secret for years. Many have assumed he's gay, but few people talked about it publicly. That is, until BET put the question to Vandross himself this month in an interview televised on its new show, "Journeys in Black." Vandross did not deny he's gay, but neither did he acknowledge it. He simply told BET it was none of their business and separated his personal life from his professional one. Thus, those who already assumed he is gay will continue with their beliefs, while those who aren't sure will remain uncertain.

In the same week Vandross was questioned, Grammy-nominated artist Alicia Keys was asked about her sexual orientation on New York R&B radio station Hot 97. Keys acknowledged that she is often approached by women, but denied that she is a lesbian, saying she doesn't "roll that way." A skeptical friend listening to the interview responded, "What else would she say? She's not gonna come out on the radio." Even a denial is not enough to quell the celebrity rumor mill.

Society, both gay and straight, is fascinated by the sexual orientation of its celebrities. New York's WBLS Radio personality Wendy Williams has practically made a career out of outing famous celebrities. In fact, she has all but outed Sean "P.Diddy" Combs by hinting at revealing pictures she says she has of him.

Speculation swirls around other celebrities as well. Michael Jackson, Queen Pen, Queen Latifah, Maxwell, Ricky Martin and Dennis Rodman have all come under scrutiny. In fact, just about any unmarried celebrity in his or her thirties or forties is a likely candidate. But even those who have been married do not escape speculation, as is the case with Eddie Murphy, Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith and Tom Cruise.

So does it matter if Luther or Alicia comes out? Yes, it does. In a world in which homosexuality and bisexuality are still constructed as abnormal and white, it does make a difference any time any black person comes out of the closet. It makes a world of difference in the black community, far more significant than the news about Elton, Ellen, Melissa or any of the other white lesbian and gay icons.

Since it makes a difference, should Luther and Alicia actually come out? Assuming they're gay, that's still up to them. If they're not ready, it's hard to see how the gay rights cause is helped by forcing them to come out. Nor is "outing" the answer. Outing someone who doesn't want to be outed doesn't empower other homosexuals. Instead, it sends the unmistakable signal that even rich and famous gay men and lesbians still feel ashamed of their sexuality. The truth is, celebrities are not required to sacrifice their careers to make a political statement, and even in 2002, coming out is still taboo for nearly all celebrities in the black community.

The only reason why anyone should ever come out of the closet is because it works for that person, not because it works for anyone else. I would never counsel anyone to come out simply to satisfy a cause. The best reason I know to come out is because of the value of honesty in one's life. But some celebrities would answer that they are already honest with those who matter, those closest to them. They may be right. There are many ways to come out besides issuing a press release, mounting a stage with a pink triangle, or plastering a rainbow sticker on your Bentley. Being out to your friends and family can be far more important than being out to people you don't even know.

To be fair, let's apply the same tests we apply to celebrities to ourselves. How many of us would be comfortable coming out on stage? How many of us would risk our careers for a political cause that doesn't fully represent us? If we can't say we would do it, why should we expect celebrities to do it?

Sure, it would help if more celebrities voluntarily walked out of the closet, but in the meantime we waste our time and energy focused on them without considering what we could do for ourselves.

According to recent polling data, people who say they don't know anyone who is gay or lesbian are more likely to oppose civil rights protections for gays and lesbians. Of course, everybody knows someone who is gay or lesbian. The problem is they don't always realize they know someone who is gay or lesbian. Boy George, George Michael, Rock Hudson or both Darrens on "Bewitched" aren't going to help these people understand gays and lesbians as well as their next door neighbor can. Their family, friends and co-workers are likely to have much more impact on their lives than any celebrity ever could.

If we really want to change the way society thinks about homosexuality and bisexuality, the place to start is at home.